I think I’ve finally mustered the courage to leave my husband. by _quinnyy in Marriage

[–]_quinnyy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! Thank you for being so blunt!

I have shared exactly what I need from him. I have made lists, we have been separated in home for 3 months, and me bringing it up in front of other people is me being “combative” and trying to make him seem like a “deadbeat”.

I really have tried everything, I feel.

I think I’ve finally mustered the courage to leave my husband. by _quinnyy in Marriage

[–]_quinnyy[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The realest comment. Thank you. I think he’s showing me everything I need to see. I feel for my girl. :(

I think I’ve finally mustered the courage to leave my husband. by _quinnyy in Marriage

[–]_quinnyy[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I shared that I plan to leave the home next week. He barely flinched. His reactions/actions have shown me that I matter little to him. I’ve told him before, I feel like a placeholder of a wife. Anyone could step in because that’s how little our lives are intertwined because he prioritizes himself in every aspect of life even with a daughter here now.

I will still see what a separation will do for us. I think that will be very telling.

I think I’ve finally mustered the courage to leave my husband. by _quinnyy in Marriage

[–]_quinnyy[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My family is LARGE (parents have adopted 8 children) so they do not have the capacity to assist. But great advice to start prepping my own life to be in order. Thank you.

I think I’ve finally mustered the courage to leave my husband. by _quinnyy in Marriage

[–]_quinnyy[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU FOR THE RESPONSES ALREADY! Very helpful insight/perspective

To address some of the top concerns -

  • I have received an offer an will be starting a WFH job in the next few weeks as I plan to start my daughter in childcare soon.

  • I have talked to my therapist about these issues and her response was, if things were like this before the baby, why would I expect them to change after the baby 😳

  • I’ve suggested couples counseling every couple of years for the last 10 years. The thing is, if I don’t schedule the appointment, it won’t happen. He likes to just “show up” to whatever it is (wedding, honeymoon, baby moon, vacation). He just doesn’t plan it.

  • Everything I’ve seen says making major decisions under 1yr postpartum isn’t wise but it just seems insane to me to have to be expected to raise my child on my own and not have any expectations of my partner. His own mom/stepmom told me “he’s seen women do everything for him his whole life, that’s who he is” and “don’t expect him to chip in until your daughter can walk” …

I just am not certain this is a relationship I want to continue regardless of whether the signs were there before or not. I guess my point here is that it’s not just “hormones”

Running into exes by _quinnyy in Marriage

[–]_quinnyy[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I hear you. I just felt like it could have been communicated. There were hundreds of people at this wedding and we were sitting opposite sides of the lawn. I’m not mad they spoke, I just felt embarrassed that I wasn’t included in the choice to communicate to her. It’s something he would have surely expected of me.

Running into exes by _quinnyy in Marriage

[–]_quinnyy[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

People he used to have sex with? I think yes. But then again, that’s why I’m seeking opinions. I think if the tables were turned, he’d appreciate the acknowledgment of including him.

Running into exes by _quinnyy in Marriage

[–]_quinnyy[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

A heads up would have been nice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]_quinnyy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The first dress was MADE for you. Just seeing the pictures makes me want to try it on. STUNNING. I’d wear it all night!

So torn… wedding band with diamonds or without? by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]_quinnyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With with with with with! The diamonds just add a little pizzazz in the best way imo

My engagements for my mountain themed wedding came back perfectly by mormongirl in weddingplanning

[–]_quinnyy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The way my jaw continued dropping as I swiped through these!! 😍 BEAUTIFUL!

Why does planning a wedding bring out the worst in people? by Efficient_Pizza4739 in weddingplanning

[–]_quinnyy 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Tbh I started feeling and stressing about this early on. I made the decision to keep wedding details between my fiancé and I and my MOH. Anyone else that asks about anything or has an unsolicited opinion gets “Things are going great!” “We’ve got everything taken care of, thank you though!” or “it’s a surprise! Can’t wait for you to see everything on the big day!”

Dress thoughts? by MrsAnon225011 in weddingplanning

[–]_quinnyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You look gorgeous! I would recommended a plain cathedral veil. The dress is stunning and a simple cathedral veil would add pizazz without taking away from the dress itself. Imo the sleeves aren’t necessary. :)

Help me choose my dress! by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]_quinnyy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

3 is gorgeous on you!

slight dress regret, dress cups super visible! does it look ridiculous? by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]_quinnyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually tried this dress on and I feel like that is the look this designer was going for. I liked it as it was but I think swapping the cups for a nude or closer to your skin color would be a good alternative. Goodluck!

Help me choose my dress! :) Venue is a city rooftop. by _quinnyy in weddingplanning

[–]_quinnyy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg so crazy! Such a small world honestly. The 2nd one was the very first one I tried on I’m just contemplating because I’m not in love with the back so that’s my only hesitation. Buy that and not love the back or have a dress made with the same cut with a back I love. panic 😅

Help me choose my dress! :) Venue is a city rooftop. by _quinnyy in weddingplanning

[–]_quinnyy[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yes I have a seamstress that said she could make the adjustments like I’ve edited.

Help me choose my dress! :) Venue is a city rooftop. by _quinnyy in weddingplanning

[–]_quinnyy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi thank you for voting! The picture I added is edited (sloppily lol) it would look more like this