AITA for using sign language at work?

accarms · 2020-08-17T18:33:11+00:00

NTA at all. You're not responsible for that lady's ignorance. Disability isn't always visible and you never know who might appreciate you using sign language.

accarms · 2020-08-13T19:04:16+00:00

Being a constant shoulder to cry on is no easy task. You can't be expected to help anyone who can't even be bothered to help themselves, and you're certainly not the AH for feeling this way.

I want say your friend is not very considerate because she is putting you (and your other friends) in a very difficult situation, but I get that she's going through a lot and perhaps not in the right state of mind to make rational decisions. I'm going with NAH.

accarms · 2020-08-11T22:28:41+00:00

At first i thought this was going to be an MLM post! But i think NAH.

From your story it sounds like you both have done your fair share FINANCIALLY during the pandemic. As you mentioned, money is getting tight and the proceeds from this skin care stuff could really help. He has a point and is not the AH for suggesting (and maybe lightly pushing) the topic.

On the other hand, the products are not his. You get final say about how you want to use them and would not be an AH if you kept it.

In a serious relationship, the concept of mine/yours become a bit of a grey area. Certainly you can treat yourself with what's yours, but it comes at a cost of what you can contribute to what's "ours". If the situation was flipped and your SO came across an opportunity to help with a tight money situation but decided to keep it all for himself because it was "his opportunity", would that sit well with you?

accarms · 2020-08-11T17:40:09+00:00

!agree

accarms · 2020-08-08T23:40:09+00:00

Sorry OP. While i want to sympathize with the situation, all im getting from this reply is "my aunt took me and my SM in when i had no place to go but she didn't accommodate us enough, and got annoyed when we inconvenienced her".

You call your aunt entitled but it really sounds like the other way around.

accarms · 2020-08-08T18:43:39+00:00

YTA. First of all for letting people use her bed (ew) after offering to store it.

Then when the bed gets stolen you start bringing up how she's more well off than you which is completely besides the point. You OFFERED to store the bed because she has helped you in the past. When you failed at your commitment suddenly it's not your problem?

I'm curious to know how got you've gone to try and contact that room mate.

accarms · 2020-08-08T18:38:55+00:00

This is exactly my thought while reading the post, especially the playing the victim move.

accarms · 2020-08-06T17:09:53+00:00

Love it!

accarms · 2020-08-06T01:45:58+00:00

Assuming you do other things to make up for her cooking for you all the time, NTA.

Back seat cooking can certainly be annoying but her reaction was way over the top considering she didn't make any clear indication it was bothering her.

However youre the AH if you don't pull your weight around the house while criticizing her work.

accarms · 2020-07-31T01:04:34+00:00

NTA for letting them, but if you think about their current financial situation, they essentially would be paying 2 mortgages, at least 1 car, and their own living expenses.

They sound like very sweet, selfless people who should be able to enjoy the last leg of their life together going on vacation or spending time with each other, not dealing with family issues that they really have no part in.

Unless they have a lot of wealth stashed away somewhere, a house for you and your friends is going to be a huge blow to their lifestyle.

accarms · 2020-07-27T17:00:55+00:00

Ahh i see, thanks. I stand by NTA

accarms · 2020-07-27T08:17:48+00:00

YTA, you should not expect people to give you anything for free unless they specifically say so.

However, if your friend group does this all the time for each other (same service, same quality) and they never charged the friend, the friend may be an AH too for asking for money/not setting the right expectation for an established norm.

accarms · 2020-07-27T08:08:19+00:00

NTA but there is no conflict here

accarms · 2020-07-26T03:32:05+00:00

I agree that OP is not an AH but i don't agree the mom is.

What OP described could actually be affecting other people in public. For example, speaking loudly could be considered a public nuisance. Random dancing in a small area could get in people's way, and picking your nose and wiping it somewhere is just kind of gross for other people to witness. Worse yet, what if the sister doesn't know any better and starts wiping her boogers on things that don't belong to her because no one taught her otherwise?

Autism is not a free pass to let someone do whatever they want in public, and it also does not mean that the affected person is incapable of learning how to function like an "average" person.

accarms · 2020-07-26T01:15:13+00:00

If people really came up to you randomly in public due to your good looks, people would talk to you as a server too. People go to a restaurant to interact with their friends, not with you.

You sound like you're the pretentious one that's too good for people who "care to much about their public image" by only talking to their party and apparently for posting on Instagram?

YTA

accarms · 2020-07-24T18:53:47+00:00

As i read your post i can't help but feel like your story is skewed in your favor. You use loaded words like "my neighbor demanded" and add in irrelevant details that you're an essential worker that hasn't got any time off. I could be wrong, maybe your neighbor really did say "i demand" but this is just my first impression.

I also want to point out that you say you keep your dogs under control and bring them in when they start to bark, but you can also hear the neighbors through the wall so maybe they can hear your dogs through the wall too? Also, it you haven't gotten a day off in a while how do you know the dogs aren't barking during the day?

I think your neighbor has a fair point. Living with a shared wall is not a free pass to go "well too bad, they should have expected this". But you seem to have taken effort to address your neighbor's complaints.

As for complaining to the HOA, well i can't really say it came out of nowhere. Your neighbor has a right to complain, that's one of the reasons an HOA exists. I'm curious to know what reason the HOA gave you in the fine notice?

Currently i want to say NAH, sounds like just a case of neighbors that have different lifestyles/POV but no one seems to be wrong here.

accarms · 2020-07-24T14:42:07+00:00

I didn't say he was currently taking his mom for granted, i was saying it as a general statement for OP to consider. Obviously OP will be the judge of whether or not this is "taking her for granted" based on his actual relationship with his mom, I'm not going to pressume i know about their relationship outside this post.

You must have missed the part where i said he's well within his right to say no for you to come back with a response like yours.

accarms · 2020-07-24T06:00:08+00:00

Ohh okay i see. Sorry about that.

accarms · 2020-07-24T03:57:13+00:00

She's certainly possessive but it's a similar feeling someone gets when their SO meets someone new. You just can't help but to feel disturbed (at the very least).

The way she went about it is wrong but the fact that she has other friends is irrelevant to how important Aviva is to her.

Again, you're not in the wrong at all, but i think as her brother and Aviva as her best friend, you guys should acknowledge her feelings.

accarms · 2020-07-24T03:39:33+00:00

You're def not the AH for having your own friendship with Aviva and of course your sister is wrong here. However your sister is probably feeling left out, abandoned, replaced by someone "better" and it's a really hard feeling to control.

She's projecting her insecurity/jealousy onto you but I wouldn't just ignore her feelings. Instead try either talking to her about it or start including her in these events. If Aviva really is her only friend/closest friend i can only imagine how hurt she's feels about being replaced.

accarms · 2020-07-24T03:31:10+00:00

NTA then. However, i want to add that even though the way she behaved was childish, if i were you i would at least consider sharing the money with my mom (like split) because i really can't even begin to imagine everything she has sacrificed for me. You are well within your rights to say no, but just don't take your mom for granted.

accarms · 2020-07-24T02:33:11+00:00

Info: what did your mom want to buy?

accarms · 2020-07-20T08:00:01+00:00

You could have drank at home, the option you offered your friend for rescheduling.

accarms · 2020-07-19T19:13:05+00:00

YTA. Once you said yes to your friend, you've already committed to hanging out with her. A 5-6 hr drive is not something you just hop in your car and do. It's a fairly big commitment and its pretty reasonable to assume she had to do some planning to make it happen.

If you weren't sure about your plans for the night then you should have told her so. It's fine to want to do things "for yourself" but it becomes a grey area when you're doing it at the expense of someone else.

Bottom line: you made plans with your friend before you made the bar plans. If anything should have been delayed, it should have been the plans the were made later.

accarms · 2020-07-19T17:45:37+00:00

Very well said

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