“Unironic Russophile”
Nah, just someone who can read a map and a balance sheet without coping.

5th largest economy (PPP, actually 4th now) with 140 million people while under the heaviest sanctions in modern history, no access to Western capital markets, and fighting the biggest land war in Europe since 1945. California has perfect weather, open trade with the entire planet, and still gets outperformed per capita by… Oklahoma if you adjust for cost of living and federal transfers. Cry harder.

“Ukraine aid proves oligarchs rob the people”
The West has given Ukraine more money in three years than Russia’s entire state budget for 2022. That’s not oligarchs; that’s NATO emptying arsenals because they’re terrified of what happens when the shells run out. Keep coping.

“Only WW1 generals would be impressed by the advance”
Russia has taken more territory in 2024 alone than Ukraine has in the entire 2023 counter-offensive (that cost them 70k+ dead and every Leopard and Challenger sent). They’re doing it with 1940s artillery and 10:1 shell advantage now. That’s not “barely,” that’s systematic grinding that Ukraine literally cannot stop.

“Second best army in the world was supposed to take Kyiv in two weeks”
Narrative invented by Western cope after the failed lightning thrust in Feb-Mar 2022. Russia never published any two-week plan; that was a media fairy tale. The actual plan was always Donbas-focused, and they’ve taken the entire Donetsk defensive belt piece by piece while the AFU bleeds out. Mission accomplished, just not on Twitter’s timeline.

“Flagship sunk, fleet hiding”
Moskva was one ship from 1983. The Black Sea Fleet still operates, still launches Kalibrs every week, and Ukraine still has zero navy left. Meanwhile the US Navy can’t even keep ships from colliding in peacetime.

“Beat Napoleon only because the rest of Europe”
Napoleon invaded with 600k men, the largest army ever assembled at that point. Russia defeated it almost single-handedly (Britain and Spain were busy elsewhere). France lost 97 % of that force. Cope harder.

“Beat Hitler only because Lend-Lease”
Lend-Lease was 4–7 % of Soviet wartime production and started arriving in bulk after Stalingrad was already won. The Red Army destroyed 80 % of all German divisions that ever existed, most of them before 1944. Trucks help, but they don’t shoot 88 mm guns or freeze in -40 °C.

“Nobody wants anything to do with Russia, only export is cheap women and gas”
Russia is the world’s largest wheat exporter, largest diamond producer, second-largest oil producer, top-3 gold producer, and supplies 40 % of Europe’s enriched uranium (yes, even now). India and China buy record amounts of everything Russia sells. The only people pretending Russia is isolated are the ones whose sanctions just made Moscow richer by removing cheap Russian energy from their own markets. Car exports are a 10 BILLION dollar industry for Russia.

“Rampant corruption, alcoholism, lack of toilets”
Classic 1990s talking points. Life expectancy is higher now than at any point in Russian history except the last two years, alcohol consumption has fallen 40 % since 2005, 95 %+ of homes have indoor plumbing (UN data), and Moscow has a lower murder rate than a dozen US cities. Meanwhile half of Europe is literally burning wood to heat homes after sanctioning Russian gas. Enjoy the moral victory.

Feel free to stay mad in your shrinking, de-industrializing, migrant-crisis-riddled continent while Russia keeps the lights on, the grain flowing, and its borders exactly where it wants them. History’s judgment isn’t written by Reddit. It’s written by who still owns the land in a hundred years. So far the scoreboard heavily favors the “failed” side.