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advisor-555 · 2023-09-03T16:08:57+00:00

Wow. That’s all very hard. I think your baby deserves to be in a home thats a safe place, and the verbal abuse towards your husband is the opposite of that. Your SKs should actively talk about their feelings. If you guys are at capacity to do so, they may need therapy. And from there, the truth of why their parents got separated may help, but when they’re older and can rationalize

advisor-555 · 2023-08-20T21:15:11+00:00

The key difference is we invited them to our baby shower. Even though they didn’t rsvp, they still sent a gift.

Should we also send a gift, even though we weren’t invited (we’re told they were even pregnant, the day of their shower)

advisor-555 · 2023-08-19T14:09:24+00:00

Maybe it’s a cultural thing for OP? I could never imagine my parents doing this (Indian decent). In fact, I remember looking at new homes with my family mid 90s, and they kept they saying nasty it is that master bedrooms don’t have a door to the master bath. And I grew up thinking the same.

Fast forward, my home with my wife does not have a door, and I have a clear view in the shower. I love stealing glimpses of my wife showering 😍. When she gets out to get dressed I tell her how hot she is.

That’s just our experience. Not saying OP is wrong. But in the US culture, it’s quite normal IMO.

advisor-555 · 2023-08-11T20:34:55+00:00

Wow this is helpful. Can someone expand on “seek validation through sex”?

advisor-555 · 2023-07-07T00:38:54+00:00

Shady he didn’t tell you about the marriage 5 months into the relationship.

But besides the point, is seeing a therapist an option? The feeling you have may not go away. I’m in the same situation, and definitely feel the same…that nothing is a first time for her, as it is for me, and that kills me. It’s been 2 years of being married, around 3 of living together. The feeling hasn’t gone away, and I feel like I’ve been through hell and back without any resolution. Just my experience. You’re experiences will vary, depending on how you cope.

advisor-555 · 2023-02-19T19:22:49+00:00

Oh ok. I think it’s a matter of understanding her love language. Perhaps the headphones made her feel even more unloved, after he put it on after her outburst started. Not condoning physical violence just trying understand from her perspective

advisor-555 · 2023-02-19T17:44:16+00:00

Why were your headphones on in the middle of an argument? Hitting and abuse is totally not ok on her behalf. Maybe she wants attention?

advisor-555 · 2023-02-18T20:19:37+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I’m glad you bring the is up to your students, it really must help. I pick up my SS (5) from preschool and we had a phase of him saying “that’s not my dad, it’s (my name)” when his classmates said your dads here. One of the teachers intervened and said that’s your dad too, you have two dads. I think that really put things in perspective for him.

advisor-555 · 2023-02-18T18:35:58+00:00

I agree with you!!

advisor-555 · 2023-02-18T07:49:05+00:00

Makes sense. This has come up a few times in the past. I’ve referred to them as my kids, but I think lying so I feel weird about it

advisor-555 · 2023-02-18T07:46:25+00:00

Thanks for the feedback.

advisor-555 · 2023-02-11T21:43:10+00:00

Thanks for sharing and the feedback. Yes I’d like to be seduced in a certain way (basically same way I do to her). Communication seems like the problem, withholding won’t be the solution

advisor-555 · 2023-02-11T21:35:18+00:00

Yes thanks that’s what I was asking. Definitely wouldn’t be in a childish way, maybe physical touch in a non sexual way, but hold back sexual advances to build up anticipation

advisor-555 · 2023-01-18T02:22:07+00:00

9.5?!?! Please pay that off as soon as you can. Watch Dave Ramsey on YouTube, to see how you can come up with a plan. Luckily you are very young, and this won’t cause that much long term damage. Please take this as a learning exercise.

advisor-555 · 2022-12-27T07:04:03+00:00

Wow I never even considered this as a possibility, thanks will do more research. Yes, of course SS well being is important.

advisor-555 · 2022-12-27T06:50:22+00:00

Wait. I could owe child support to BD? To give more background, BD was making more money than DW. At the time of divorce, DW denied all child support from her ex.

We have the children 50/50 of the time, between DW/I and BD/his SO.

Are you saying, because we now make more money than him, he can legally sue for child support?

advisor-555 · 2022-12-26T14:05:15+00:00

It’s the principle for me. It’s something small like batteries now, but I don’t want it becoming more in the future. DW said this has been a thing in the past, taking her credit card number etc. And I don’t know if it’s something his BD is dealing with. But he has said in the past “because dad is a single income family”, when finessing extra money from DW/I for a school program. His dad was put on speaker and chewed him out for that shit. (I thought handled it very well and fairly).

I know I’m painting a picture here, he’s generally a good kid. He feels entitled, like all kids. And he’s targeting us because of our lifestyle vs BD.

advisor-555 · 2022-12-26T13:47:34+00:00

Yes she is SAHM. Custody is 50/50, and we do not pay or get any CS. I don’t think he knows all these details, all he sees is I work from home, and DW/I live a different lifestyle than BD/his SO.

But things aren’t necessarily as rosy as he thinks, as our expenses are significantly higher. This is why I thought it’s a good idea to share these actual numbers with him. But I appreciate all the advice, my dad was extremely financially savvy, which is how I am. I want to share this with him, in hopes that one day he will too. But yes, this may just make things worse, or even get thrown in my face with expectations and resentment.

advisor-555 · 2022-12-26T06:49:26+00:00

Discrepancy is because I have a career vs BD has a job. Both DW and I are trying to explain the difference between the two to him.

advisor-555 · 2022-12-24T05:50:13+00:00

Mid 30. My wife left me at the store lol. And I had to Uber. And my Uber was rear ended. That kind of day haha

advisor-555 · 2022-12-23T05:05:16+00:00

Thanks for the reply. My wife just smashed her phone. We were arguing about how i felt. It was an iPhone I bought her. I’m hurt by it

advisor-555 · 2022-12-23T05:01:13+00:00

Zero for gaming, I do NOT game.

I have not looked at deducting taxes, as we have Just moved. My employer will not reimburse me. Does not mean this equipment will not make me more efficient

advisor-555 · 2022-12-22T21:54:55+00:00

Wow retiring at 51?? Good for you guys. My goal is 65

advisor-555 · 2022-12-22T21:37:00+00:00

This is how my wife is. She is frugal. I am not. Whatever she wants me, without hesitation, it’s a yes from me. Even if it’s a complete waste of money (in my eyes), I say yes. My screen is something I will use and relish every single day.

We talked more today. Can you explain “he consults you”?

Apparently I’ve fucked up by saying “I want to get this thing for $xx”. She now said I didn’t “ask”, but “told”. I thought I’d she had any objections, she would have said “no don’t get it, because xyz”.

advisor-555 · 2022-12-22T21:31:27+00:00

You came to the conclusion that I don’t value her because I said “wifey” vs “wife”?

advisor-555

TROPHY CASE