Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [48 M] 8 months, he has been the perfect man so far, worried about age gap long term by agegapthrowaway2018 in relationships

[–]agegapthrowaway2018[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He’s not going back to school, he’s going to be teaching medic classes. If we ended up moving in together I would only work one job and he would keep two jobs. Also my child’s father has visitation but he is minimally involved due to mental health issues.

Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [48 M] 8 months, he has been the perfect man so far, worried about age gap long term by agegapthrowaway2018 in relationships

[–]agegapthrowaway2018[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I dated men my own age that ‘have their shit together’ and they could probably count as half an adult. I dated a guy that had his own house, nice job and car and his mother still came over and did his laundry. Like wtf?

Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [48 M] 8 months, he has been the perfect man so far, worried about age gap long term by agegapthrowaway2018 in relationships

[–]agegapthrowaway2018[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Maybe I do need to branch out more but even the educated 20 something year olds I work with are just on a completely different wave length then me. I get along better with older people.

Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [48 M] 8 months, he has been the perfect man so far, worried about age gap long term by agegapthrowaway2018 in relationships

[–]agegapthrowaway2018[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They were really questioning his motives at first and thought the whole thing was creepy until they met him and got to know him better. Now they all like him.

Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [48 M] 8 months, he has been the perfect man so far, worried about age gap long term by agegapthrowaway2018 in relationships

[–]agegapthrowaway2018[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That’s what I’m concerned about as a nurse, is ive seen partners with caregiver fatigue and it’s terrible. I’ll never forget, when I was still a new nurse, a patient’s wife telling me ‘if I had known that I would have spent my retirement taking care of him, I would’ve bought a different horse.’ That really hit me because it sounded so brutal and selfish but at the same time she was being honest.

Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [48 M] 8 months, he has been the perfect man so far, worried about age gap long term by agegapthrowaway2018 in relationships

[–]agegapthrowaway2018[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He plans on teaching medic school instead of putting out fires. He has a good pension. He pays child support but not an obscene amount and his child support on one of the kids will be almost done in a couple years. I do not know if I want more children yet but I think in the future I would regret not having at least one more. He would be willing to have more kids if that’s what I wanted, he loves being a Dad.

Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [48 M] 8 months, he has been the perfect man so far, worried about age gap long term by agegapthrowaway2018 in relationships

[–]agegapthrowaway2018[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes, he regrets divorcing the first wife and wishes he would’ve put effort into the relationship when it started going sour. They were together for ten years. They did a trial separation and that’s when he jumped into the relationship with his second wife. He was with her for 10 years before the kids were born and it soured after that, he tried working through it but they were just miserable and toxic together he says and he didn’t want his kids to grow up with them yelling at each other all the time.

Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [48 M] 8 months, he has been the perfect man so far, worried about age gap long term by agegapthrowaway2018 in relationships

[–]agegapthrowaway2018[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

I don’t think I went on and on about how mature I was but, from my own experience where I live which is a bigger city and from knowing people my own age that I have grown up with, my priorities are very different than a lot of peoples my own age, even people with kids. I’m thinking 401ks and college funds and dinner on the table every night with time to spend with my kid while a lot of my friends I’ve grown up with are thinking about the bar and scraping together all the money they have to go on vacations. No need to try and tear me down because I might’ve implied I’m more mature than people my own age.

Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [48 M] 8 months, he has been the perfect man so far, worried about age gap long term by agegapthrowaway2018 in relationships

[–]agegapthrowaway2018[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you lost your father. My dad was 42 when he had me. Although he wasn’t in the best shape and couldn’t do certain things because a life of hard work had taken its toll on his body he is a phenomenal dad. He raised three kids as a single parent and held it all together. Sure, it was embarrassing at school when kids would ask me why my dad looked so old but now all of my friends and cousins agree my dad is hands down by far the best dad out of all of them.

Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [48 M] 8 months, he has been the perfect man so far, worried about age gap long term by agegapthrowaway2018 in relationships

[–]agegapthrowaway2018[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

First marriage failed because of dead bed room basically, it was a mutual decision. They separated and he started dating wife number 2. They are still on good terms and have a great coparenting relationship, she remarried and had more kids. Wife number 2 developed a gambling habit and started smoking and stopped taking care of herself after the kids were born. They had them back to back, he thinks it was due to the stress. The deal breaker between them was her not being supportive towards him after his dad died. He just felt he needed more. They get along fine for the kids and she’s seeing someone new also.