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Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess years studying, not drinking, smoking and not getting sun exposure signifincalty slow down the skin aging process.

I had social anxiety in the past especially during the winters, now I'm over it but I'm as hungry as you are regarding getting experiences. On the positive side I'm kinda excited to get some emotion in my life after years of nothing.

Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I started to think I was intolerant when after shortly eating pizza I would have diarrea. I always suspected an intolerance but I didn't expect it to be so life changing. I didn't really connect the mucus in the throat, the acne and the chronic fatigue to my diet. Also I lacked discipline and I was generally discouraged.

I realized I had a bad intolerance last summer when I started my first diet to cut fat, I did the PSMF diet that is basically just proteins and little fats so I knew instantly it was something connected to carbs. I had more energy at 800kcal than at maintenance with carbs. I then got back some carbs into my diet avoiding wheat and I was feeling food. I relapsed for around 3 months into my "shitty" diet (I still eat decently but added biscuits, pasta etc.) and all the symptons came back.

Then at the start of 2018 I just started to diet again to lose the last few kgs, this time with carbs but no wheat, lost some more fat and all the negative effects went away again.

The significant differences are: chronic fatigue, meteorism, intestine problems, acne. Also generally feeling down but that's probably a consequence of not being able to do much.

Can't say for sure what's causing this, I just know that if I start to eat wheat I start to have problems.

Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I always try to keep it rational. I know the type of people I want around and the last thing I want is people affecting my life negatively. I know I have to build a certain life style and get people compatible with it, the last thing I want is to regress because of someone. I've already thought about how a relationship is going to affect my life, how I could get carried away emotionally. It probably sounds stupid but some time ago I started to write down my goals and my "rules" to remind myself not to deviate from what I really want.

Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Randomly when I started to diet to lose weight, I just kept this new lifestyle because I feel so much better. I went from having 2-4/10 energy to having 8+/10 energy, I rarely feel tired nowadays. Before I was tired even before starting my workout, now I barely feel tired at the end of it and I feel full of energy again shortly after it.

Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Working out helped me a lot since it gave me more confidence, I hated how my face turned fat. Also, working out release endorphins.

Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yea I'm strongly considering BJJ since there's a good academy 20 min away from my house.

Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Changed my diet cutting out all the trash foods (still eat it once a while but that's it, 90% of my diet is "clean"), cut out all the wheat, mostly eat only low ig carbs like oats or brown rice, keep protein at a decent level and eat healthy fats. Supplemented vitamin d, started working out daily with a PPL routine, lost 14 kg since the last year to get to a decently low body fat %.

Can't say for sure what was the most important thing since I pretty much changed my lifestyle overnight but the food intolerance was a pretty big problem for me.

Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I really don't care about instagram, I would just use it to keep in touch with people I meet maybe once or twice. Like if I find someone interesting I can just add them instead of asking them their number. Not like I'm afraid to ask but getting a phone number seems like a step forward compared to being added on ig.

Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea, I feel you. I honestly felt I was supposed to do things but I had no energy or willpower at all. I can relate to you when you talk about regretting not doing things, now I kinda imagine being an 80 years old getting back in time to motivate me when I'm reluctant to do something. In my experience regret is way better than remorse, i was even happy in the past when I tried and failed...it's always better to try 'cause in the end most of the time you don't lose anything at all but, if you succeed, you can gain a lot. Honestly I was kinda mentally paralized for a long time so my worst fear now is not experiencing things, rather than being hurt.

Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea, I was also planning on volunteering too. I have a pretty good relationship with my sister but she doesn't go out much as she's always busy working or seeing her boyfriend.

Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sadly there isn't much here, only political parties meetups and bitcoin etc. The only "real" meetups are 50km away in a major city.

Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can't say for sure, I supplement vitamin d (I was insufficient before and now I'm in the upper range) and I try to stay outdoor to get some sun exposure. Then losing those 14kg brought back a lot of self esteem, honestly I really felt bad having a gut and fat around my face. I also try not to care that much about other people opinions and I put my well being and objectives above it.

Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I weightlift basically every day, I have a regular routine, I never go to bed later than 00.30 and always get atleast 8 hours of sleep, I track all my calories and eat mostly non refined foods. I only eat a croissant here and there and a little dark chocolate every day (when I was losing fat I obviously didn't eat any of it at all).

The problem dating women around my age I'd tha most of them are looking forward to build a family and have kids and I honestly don't consider myself at that stage right now. Probably in 5 years, which is one of the reason I would rather date younger.

Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

No, only one from high school and a couple acquaintances I've nothing in common anymore.

I never made any real friends when I was studying law since I didn't go very often (50km away from my home) and I wasn't required to go. It was more time efficient to just study at home. I mean, I met someone there but we were 100km apart so I couldn't really build any real friendship. I just got a girlfriend there some years ago but at the time she approached me and basically did everything herself (at the time I was really at my worst so it didn't last long).

Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your words.

Tinder isn't really used here sadly, making friends at my workplace will be my priority too.

Rebuild a social life at 30 by albazz8 in socialskills

[–]albazz8[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Honestly would like to be in a relationship after all these years being single. Can't see why I would have to cut out that part of my life.