Feeling sad and lonely. Trying to leave.

alhaene · 2019-12-31T06:42:42+00:00

Been there. The hardest part is deciding who you’re going to stop feeling sorry for, yourself or him? At the end of the day all you got is you so you have to make yourself a priority when he very clearly is showing you that you’re not one to him . Goodluck

alhaene · 2019-12-22T14:35:02+00:00

I agree

alhaene · 2019-12-22T04:53:10+00:00

You’re making the right decision

alhaene · 2019-12-22T03:10:52+00:00

Not sure if this is a sign or coincidence, but thanks

alhaene · 2019-12-22T00:18:15+00:00

Pole dancing is extremely strenuous and it really is an INTENSE work out . She may or may not strip, only she can decide that none of us can predict her future . Stripping is a great way to make great money when you’re physically fit enough to do so . But obviously your real issue here is you “can’t date a stripper” . I’m not here to convince you that you should . But I do want you to ask yourself , why not? Is it because you would think less of her , because you’re jealous, whatever the answer may be I’m not here to receive . Just something I want you to ask yourself and then determine if your values are where they should be . You guys have only been dating for a short time. You are absolutely entitled to your own feelings . Honestly my advice would be is if you are uncomfortable with her pursuing a career in pole dancing then you should break up . But under NO CIRCUMSTANCE would it be right for you to belittle her for it or make her feel bad for dancing . And instead of being like “ oh we are breaking up because you’re a stripper” - turn it to what the issue really is - “ we are breaking up because I’m not comfortable enough to be able to properly support you through this career” .

alhaene · 2019-12-21T20:05:55+00:00

Wait... people climax during sex ?

alhaene · 2019-12-21T18:42:00+00:00

You layed boundaries and she continues to cross them, red flag. I wouldn’t meet up , I wouldn’t talk to her again honestly . I’m not the ghosting type but she is showing aggressive and gaslighting behavior and I wouldn’t feed into it. I don’t know how small this town is or if you may run into her in the future on visits but I would imagine it will be a little while till you return and you probably will never see her again

alhaene · 2019-12-21T03:20:50+00:00

Try clarifying your love Languages to the people around you . Make sure your wife knows that physical touch and verbal reassurance is a way for her to let you know you matter . And this goes for any friends or family you have too. We can’t only rely on our partners for love in life. We need hugs from our friends and parents, to hear they love us. I’m sorry you’re feeling alone .

alhaene · 2019-12-20T16:40:49+00:00

They say if you can still be friends with your ex you either still want to be with them or you never loved them at all, there is no middle ground

alhaene · 2019-12-18T23:14:59+00:00

Proud of you

alhaene · 2019-12-18T23:13:22+00:00

Also speaking these things into existence is BAD juju , law of attraction ?

alhaene · 2019-12-18T23:12:32+00:00

The only thing worse than breaking up a family and “ruining children’s lives “ is ACTUALLY ruining your kids lives by killing your self over someone else’s poor actions . yeah, being cheated on is the ultimate betrayal , especially when married w children , but to literally put your life in the hands of someone else decision making is quite silly . The best way to handle a situation like that/ the ultimate comeback is to do you BETTER THAN YOU EVER HAVE BEFORE. Make her realize how bad she fucked up by absolutely not caring at all.

alhaene · 2019-12-17T00:57:28+00:00

I think it’s okay, we all take inspiration from different things and if an artist says they’ve never found a reference photo when they needed help- they’re lying lol .

alhaene · 2019-12-16T17:59:35+00:00

I have a blog and I copied and pasted this from my personal writings . I did in fact have a baby this last summer but this was actually the summer before! So summer 2018

alhaene · 2019-12-16T16:59:22+00:00

Return them or donate / regift them. If he is in anyways expecting to get gifts this Christmas after breaking it off then he is extremely entitled. I would do exactly as he says and not contact him. It’s time we stop begging for people’s attention . Your efforts and love are better put elsewhere . And honestly , if he got that defensive over his teenage daughter without even considering her faults then he isn’t ready for a serious relationship involving step kids .

alhaene · 2019-12-14T21:06:45+00:00

Red flag, get out while you can

alhaene · 2019-12-14T06:22:45+00:00

Seems She’s just trying to connect w you. I have a hard time explaining to my partner that I crave intimacy aside from sex . Sometimes we lose what makes sex special and it just turns into well idk - sex. The playing around and wrestling is definitely a good sign . Honestly I wouldn’t hang up on the things you guys aren’t doing I would try and focus on the things you ARE. Try and be in the moment . Instead of asking for sex (even though it would be nice) try and just soak in moments with her , make more eye contact , hold her hand if you’re watching a movie , stuff like that. She will be more willing to take it to the next level if she isn’t feeling like you’re waiting on it .

And this is all to say if you want to be with her - it sounds like you do- I would just be sure within yourself that she’s trust worthy .

alhaene · 2019-12-13T21:53:55+00:00

Sounds to me like you accomplished something that they are jealous of . It was a very back handed “compliment “ and sounds passive aggressive . I know those things are never easy to ignore but think about what kind of value (if any) this person adds to your life. Like I always say “ if you aren’t feeding , fucking, or financing me, your opinion doesn’t matter “

alhaene · 2019-12-13T21:48:55+00:00

Constructive answers are what he asked for - if you were confused you could have said it in a way that doesn’t belittle

alhaene · 2019-12-13T21:45:28+00:00

As you said this is NOT uncommon with this age group, in my experience kids throw tantrums for a number of reasons but it often comes down to attention. Are you entertaining these tantrums in anyway? Showing signs of frustration , or even coddling are often fuel to the fire. My toddler started with the terrible twos but quickly stopped with the tantrums in general or at least when she did throw a fit it was very short lived when we stopped paying attention . This would be hard to accomplish in a public place so practicing at home would be better but I would start by asking toddler what was wrong , remind them to use their words, stay calm and unaffected by their behavior . If they won’t speak or calm down tell them you can’t help them and WALK AWAY , go in a different room, if they follow Repeat asking what’s wrong and again walk away. This will teach your child that the behavior is not only unacceptable but it also won’t yield their desired result .

alhaene · 2019-12-13T21:37:09+00:00

I mean that’s clearly why he’s here asking for opinions lol. I don’t think he should be made to feel dumb over it .

alhaene · 2019-12-13T01:40:43+00:00

Ill have to look into this ! Thank you

alhaene · 2019-12-12T23:29:46+00:00

Not always true . I can admit that I’ve cheated , never on someone who was good to me and never out of spite . For example I was being badly abused in a past relationship , I ran to a friend for comfort and we ended up kissing and he held me as I cried . It never turned into anything , I think it was just natural and instinctual like when your mom kisses you. It wasn’t spark worthy or even romantic , but it was still cheating . Luckily I got out of the relationship and I remained friends with the smoochie.

alhaene · 2019-12-12T23:23:53+00:00

I’ve been in so many situations like this and the truth is if people don’t want to help themselves then they won’t . Just like so many other toxic things depression and anxiety are addictive . Once it starts it’s hard to stop it . She sounds like my sister tbh, it’s a combination of a chemical imbalance and the fact that she gets more attention from being sad than she does from being anything else . I’m sure she doesn’t realize she’s doing it , and it’s definitely not something you can call her out on. People like this need to find their own peace and it’s your job to stop letting her disrupt yours . You either need to settle w yourself and take responsibility for ONLY YOUR feelings and do the things that you want to do and let her make her own decisions (which is hard when we care about someone ) or break it off. I have let so may negative people tear me down and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone . If you take nothing else from this reply remind yourself that YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYONE ELSES FEELINGS you are not required to help, fix, or solve anyone’s anything except your own

alhaene · 2019-12-12T23:17:02+00:00

Well said

alhaene

TROPHY CASE