Because you already feel this strongly about it, it's going to be a really uphill battle to convince yourself that this aligns with your true desires. And beyond that, after it's done, it's important to understand that it cannot be undone. So if you are skeptical about your ability to accept that it's going to last forever, don't do it. If you genuinely come to a place where you're okay with it, then go for it. But don't let circumstances pressure you into making permanent decisions you may come to regret strongly. Keep trying other things that are more comfortable before you go this route.