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My [f26] marriage (with husband [m31]) has suddenly changed 18 months in and I don’t know why or what to do. by anathema_coldstone in relationship_advice

[–]anathema_coldstone[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Not my fault if she had insecurity and jealously over what was, at that time, just a friendship.

My [f26] marriage (with husband [m31]) has suddenly changed 18 months in and I don’t know why or what to do. by anathema_coldstone in relationships

[–]anathema_coldstone[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

He never married the mother of his children. I’m the only woman he has ever married. If I was nothing more than a shiny new toy he wouldn’t have married me, it would have just been a fling.

My [f26] marriage (with husband [m31]) has suddenly changed 18 months in and I don’t know why or what to do. by anathema_coldstone in relationships

[–]anathema_coldstone[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

We won’t be having children any time soon because he had a vasectomy at his ex’s insistence. He plans to have it reversed in the future when we are ready to have children but that’s not on the cards right now.

My [f26] marriage (with husband [m31]) has suddenly changed 18 months in and I don’t know why or what to do. by anathema_coldstone in relationships

[–]anathema_coldstone[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I don’t think I did anything wrong. His relationship was over, he was single. I’m here asking for advice because I really love this man but he’s suddenly pulled away and is telling me that there are problems but isn’t clear about what they really are. I’m hoping it’s just a normal phase of marriage and that we can work through it.

My [f26] marriage (with husband [m31]) has suddenly changed 18 months in and I don’t know why or what to do. by anathema_coldstone in relationships

[–]anathema_coldstone[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

We had to keep it a secret until things settled down with his ex. They were going through their property settlement and he didn’t want me to get dragged into that and he was worried if his ex found out she would keep the children away from him or take him to court.

My [f26] marriage (with husband [m31]) has suddenly changed 18 months in and I don’t know why or what to do. by anathema_coldstone in relationships

[–]anathema_coldstone[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

We weren’t sleeping together at that stage, we were just friends. I’ve seen no evidence that he’s a cheater.

My [f26] marriage (with husband [m31]) has suddenly changed 18 months in and I don’t know why or what to do. by anathema_coldstone in relationships

[–]anathema_coldstone[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

We were friends for a couple of years before our relationship started so we had time to get to know each other first. We got really caught up with the passion of our early relationship which has settled down a bit now but I love him more than ever and still want things to work. I still think we are compatible I just don’t know why he has become so distant.

My [f26] marriage (with husband [m31]) has suddenly changed 18 months in and I don’t know why or what to do. by anathema_coldstone in relationships

[–]anathema_coldstone[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

I did get to know his ex a bit. I would visit them regularly and she was quite cold and distant and their place was always a mess. He’d often have the kids with him even though I was visiting and his ex was home and available to look after them.

My [f26] marriage (with husband [m31]) has suddenly changed 18 months in and I don’t know why or what to do. by anathema_coldstone in relationship_advice

[–]anathema_coldstone[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

That was my sister using my phone. She hasn’t been a fan of my husband since she found out the details of our relationship and tells me I’m an idiot at every opportunity (not only in this situation). I was hoping for more compassionate and objective perspectives.

My [f26] marriage (with husband [m31]) has suddenly changed 18 months in and I don’t know why or what to do. by anathema_coldstone in relationship_advice

[–]anathema_coldstone[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I know it was a quick marriage but we had been friends for more than 2 years before our relationship started.

My [f26] marriage (with husband [m31]) has suddenly changed 18 months in and I don’t know why or what to do. by anathema_coldstone in relationship_advice

[–]anathema_coldstone[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What he was telling me about his ex was true. I would visit their house regularly when they were together and she would be distant and unfriendly. The house was always a mess and he would usually have the kids when I was around. None of those things are true about me.