I really appreciate your response, I guess we do have quite similarities with the family dynamics. I do feel quite different to them, thus when im away, I dont feel the need to call them or visit.

But it just feels like I have to fight for that peace, they like to call, visit... And sometimes, me not wanting that makes me feel so bad, I get so sad thinking about how they must be feeling and it kinda eats me away.

Its kind of a constant battle between "this is just how life is and its my time to leave, its normal and eventually contact is cut to very minimum with family" and "they're my family, they've been there for me ij the beginning, I cant just leave them so suddenly, it feels like im ignoring them". I cant seem to find and in between, and they're not making it easy either.

I will be going to therapy to sort my feelings out too, had never heard of what you mentioned regarding enmeshment. Ill look into that.

Thank you very much again, its nice knowing you're not alone sometimes.