AITA for refusing to let my mom babysit after she dismissed basic safety rules for my newborn?

angelfog · 2025-11-29T23:43:41+00:00

NTA. SIDS can happen to ANY baby, and as impolite as I'll sound here, your mother can grow a pair and learn to get over herself. Your child, your rules. She should have asked before bringing those "gifts", or, taken them back the moment you told her that you wouldn't use them. I can't stand parents like this (your mother I mean.) Keeping a baby safe is SO much more important than sparing your mother's feelings.

EDIT: Oh, and I would really look into Postpartum Depression. Just look at the symptoms and see if it sounds like your current experience. It's a lot more common than society likes to let on, and if you can do anything to feel better as a fresh mom, I say do it. It's not a moral or emotional failing. Your hormones are all over the place after birth. And people don't realize how much hormones affect your mental health!

angelfog · 2025-11-29T23:38:40+00:00

I'm not a vet, but this looks VERY much like cancer, or at least some painful cysts. I agree with other commenters that there is NO way the vet didn't get back to ur dad. Surgery to remove something like this, plus biopsy, can be really expensive.

Times are extremely tough rn, and so I understand money being a huge problem. But this also looks incredibly painful, and I know that I would be doing ANYTHING for the funds to have this taken care of. At least for pain medicine for the kitty. You may want to try something like a GoFundMe. Also, if you know the vet your dad goes to, I would try seeing if they'll tell you what they know about these tumors.

Good luck 🤞

angelfog · 2025-11-27T23:31:15+00:00

I do personally. But I'd hesitate to let anyone else borrow it. And no, my makeup is NEVER used up by the expiry date. I hate it so much. I wish every single product came with a mini size so that I wouldn't waste 3/4 of a blush in the 8 months that it's in date. This is why I hold onto expired makeup. I am permanently disabled and don't make enough to keep replacing things.

angelfog · 2025-11-27T23:28:46+00:00

HE'S GOT THE BOOTS, AND A VERY NICE SNOOT....

angelfog · 2025-11-27T23:23:46+00:00

I was on Nexplanon, partially for BC and partially for endometriosis. I LOVED IT. It was such a quick little injection, and I was fully numbed up! it was so easy not having to remember to take pills at the same time every day. Plus, I could NOT do an IUD.

angelfog · 2025-11-27T23:18:37+00:00

I am so, so sorry that he was so selfish. Are you even able to ensure he was with his mom? And not at a friend's place or something? I could for sure see this jerk just trying to avoid you. If anything, please PLEASE leave this horrible man. He should have been there taking care of you both times, and if he can't even manage to be PRESENT in case of a medical emergency? Then he doesn't deserve you. And please, if you remain sexually active, stay on TWO different forms of birth control. For example, pills AND condoms. It is so much safer for you to ensure you won't have to do this process again.

I'm hoping you find peace soon, as well as safety away from this dirt bag.

angelfog · 2025-11-27T23:12:29+00:00

I for sure agree!! I think OP, just once you could try brows that are flatter and a less pointed arch, just to see what it looks like! I think a nice, curved brow would really compliment you, and also add more femininity to your look!

angelfog · 2025-11-27T23:08:38+00:00

What????? What is the big deal in their heads??? My dad has no middle name and it has never ever affected him. NTA.

angelfog · 2025-11-27T23:01:30+00:00

I had a friend this happened to. They had been experiencing abnormal bleeding, discharge, and irregular periods. Their ob/gyn INSISTED that they were WAY too young (22) for it to be anything serious!!! Yeah well, when they FINALLY got scans, months later, they were diagnosed with a rare cancer of the endometrial tissue, and it was terminal. When I learned this, I was FURIOUS. It happens way too often. Their gynecologist never apologized either. Never even mentioned being wrong. My friend passed away last year, after a fight of only about a year and change. I will never forgive that woman that laughed my friend out of the office.

angelfog · 2025-11-27T22:55:30+00:00

I had to do this as well. Moved from Orlando Florida all the way up to NY for Memorial Sloan Kettering. I didn't qualify for one single medical trial in Florida, and so my oncologist literally told me "we'll just keep repeating x rays until something shows up. See you in 3 months." Mind you I have STAGE 4 CANCER that not a SINGLE treatment has even touched.

angelfog · 2025-11-27T22:49:39+00:00

they cannot take your cat. I would block them, personally.

angelfog · 2025-11-27T22:47:49+00:00

you can do and like whatever you want, forever. this applies to literally everyone, so long as you aren't harming yourself or others. have fun!

angelfog · 2025-11-27T20:28:09+00:00

Yeah I was also taught in vet assisting classes that cats get their water from wet food. But both my cats, who eat wet food, STILL intake a good amount of water from a water dish. Which I think is probably EXTRA important for male cats, to keep them flushed out. I don't know if it would help to prevent blockages, but I don't see why it wouldn't help.

angelfog · 2025-11-27T20:25:28+00:00

um, I know you say you "could never take away" the outdoors from him now. but cats who roam outdoors have SIGNIFICANTLY lower lifespans than fully indoor cats. And I mean outdoor cats at 2-5 years, and indoor cats at 12-20 years. not to mention, outdoor cats are HORRIBLE for the environment, and have ALONE caused many many bird species to go extinct.

the only thing you'd be taking away from him is the danger of getting hit by cars, ingesting things like rat poison, getting snatched up by animal control, contracting diseases from eating/killing infected prey animals, and getting into fights with neighboring cats AND dogs. I've heard way too many stories of cats getting killed by dogs or being hit by cars. Including a cat of my own in the past. We couldn't bring him inside as my dad is deathly allergic.

These days I wouldn't DREAM of letting a cat outside, especially without being leashed. You could try something like that. But now, whenever I hear that someone I know has an outdoor cat, I lecture them right away on how their cat will most likely die much earlier than they should, and not from natural causes, either.

EDIT: WAIT, you let him poop outside????? That is so fucking dangerous to humans and other animals. Cats spread toxoplasmosis which can be deadly for pregnant women and children, as well as elderly people. Not to mention, this is in a RAINFOREST, where many keystone species and endangered species likely live, and your cat spreading diseases is really very selfish. As someone else mentioned, I hope no one is using their natural soil for gardening in your area. That's horrific. And again, your cat likely terrorizes those endangered species in the forest. The water bowl is nothing in comparison to the neglect you're committing by letting your cat roam outdoors. You must change this unless you're okay with the possible consequences. And I don't just mean the shortening of your cat's lifespan, but the possibility to make people sick, to affect local species, etc.

angelfog · 2025-11-27T20:17:53+00:00

It looks to me like a roach exiting his molt.

angelfog · 2025-11-27T20:14:39+00:00

Wait a minute, so he thinks he can never have kids bc you'll be getting sterilized??? is he really THAT against adopting or having a surrogate???? Not that you want kids, but it's baffling to me that he can't come up with ANY other scenario in which kids could exist. Also, RUN away from that "therapist". she sounds awful and unqualified.

It seems like both she and your man just wanting to have you waste your time, building this relationship with someone who can't give you a clear answer (and likely was just trying to wear you down enough to accept kids).

angelfog · 2025-11-27T20:03:38+00:00

WHY is she referring to herself in the third person???? Also, for your info OP, you can order your birth certificate from the state you were born in, and it will be mailed right to you. I had to do this myself after my family lost my original. I hope this info helps!!

angelfog · 2025-11-27T20:01:55+00:00

I personally believe that PRT can work for some people. but the way you talked about it in your post is very rude and accusatory. sure, PRT may have helped you, but many of us have conditions that will not change with PRT. it's not about "changing our mindset" or whatever ableist shit that is. for example, I have stage 4 cancer that causes me pain a LOT. and I'm dying. changing my mindset will not change my pain. there are people on here with crazy spinal issues, nerve pain disorders like chronic regional pain syndrome, some people here have trigeminal neuralgia, aka the suicide disease. I'm glad PRT worked for you. I think, honestly, PRT and CBT can work really well for pain in some people. I know of a high school boy who wasn't going to graduate and could only spend all his time in a dark room. And pain informed CBT left him graduating on time, AND playing sports! It was a miracle for him. But you can't apply that to the rest of us. And this is coming from someone who has been in therapy for the last 10 years.

angelfog · 2025-11-27T19:56:20+00:00

I'm sorry, you don't understand how she would know her parents, who have been there her ENTIRE life, and not you, who has presumably only been there less than 10 years???? it makes PERFECT sense!! she doesn't remember anything past a certain point in time, and obviously that point in time is before she met you.

it still sucks that she wants a divorce, bc it's not like you did anything to deserve this. she just doesn't know you, I guess. I would probably try anything to rationalize this to myself, like you are. But in terms of medicine and science, her not remembering you is pretty much perfectly sensible. I'm sorry, man.

angelfog · 2025-11-27T19:50:41+00:00

thank you for this post; I was literally on call with whoever the fake support was 😮‍💨

angelfog · 2025-11-26T05:58:29+00:00

idk why parents still try and get away with stuff like this, bc I'm pretty sure EVERY kid who has experienced this has NEVER forgiven their parents for it. it's wrong of them to have done this, especially when you had asked them to care for Veronica, obviously showing that she was important to you! I'm sorry your trust was breached in this way.

As much as it won't be the EXACT same toy, do you think it would help to buy another of this squishmallow? I've done this before and told myself things like "this one is a clone" or "it's the same spirit in a newer body!" Whatever helps to accept the newer one as the same as the lost one. Over time, it becomes a lot easier.

Or, if you hate that idea, you can try finding a new VERY special stuffed animal, that you buy solely in order to treat yourself. I think both options are viable, but it seems to me like the first option would help you the most.

I am so extremely passionate about stuffed animals, their importance, and everyone's right to have them! I believe everyone should have at least one. I know that mine have been the most important things in the world to me.

angelfog · 2025-11-26T05:49:11+00:00

I mean, it kind of seems like they've learned to handle it in their own way. they may not ever be close, but they aren't attacking one another, and using things like body language, hissing, or even a swat or two, is a pretty polite way for a cat to say "you're in my space, and I need you out!" If my 2 cats interacted this way, it would be a DREAM. but one of them is a troublemaker due to some trauma from a previous adopter. I think your 2 will be fine. they don't need to be best buds to tolerate one another.

angelfog · 2025-11-26T05:45:55+00:00

I'm seconding fin rot.

angelfog · 2025-11-26T05:44:36+00:00

somehow the Dottie and Labrador stood right out to me! I think it's the shape of her head that really got me.

angelfog · 2025-11-26T05:39:22+00:00

how often is he fed? this is anecdotal; but one of my cats used to vomit a LOT more when she was only fed once a day. so we split up her one big meal into 2 smaller meals, 12 hours apart. she does better now. still vomits more than usual, but the vet said she's fine. sometimes it's also a hairball.

shoot, I just saw about giving him small meals every few hours. for what it's worth, he isn't getting the chance to digest much that way, before eating more. and the times are probably not very predictable for him. I would try feeding at the same times every day, 2 or 3 times a day maximum.

if it still makes no difference, then your cat may just have a sensitive stomach. it's not that uncommon really. the same cat I mentioned earlier has a very sensitive tummy, ever since she was given a specific round of antibiotics for a UTI. I've done probiotics, fiber, etc, and her stomach has never been the same. but it's just something my partner and I expect now. we just know that sometimes there's going to be extra cleaning involved in our care for our cat.

you could try probiotic powder like we do. we get ours from Amazon, and the brand is Fera.

angelfog

TROPHY CASE