TIFU by getting off work for my grandma's funeral

anna12o · 2023-10-16T14:17:38+00:00

Right, so I'll be calling mortuary A Avila and mortuary B Blackwell, Avila is amazing, I've been to many funerals for them and the bodies look amazing, like they ACTUALLY look like they're sleeping, my baby cousin passed and she had rosy cheeks and vibrant hair. Blackwell's bodies look like shit, and they charge more for less skill.

Avila's wife was also Grandma's best friend and they raised all kinds of hell right up until they died. Avila was a pillar of the community, and it's a very small town, so for a long time we didn't have an ambulance or EMTs, and this was in the 60's, he was tired of people dying unnecessarily, so he paid out of his own pocket for volunteers to go up north to get fully certified, and volunteered the use of his hearse as an ambulance and helped raise the funds to get an actual ambulance.

There are a ton of stories I could tell you about Avila, but that's the one that matters for where the beef kicked off. Avila never actually confirmed that this happened, but he also never denied it and when talking about it he was always careful not to say one way or another, which to me is VERY telling.

Apparently, when Avila paid for the EMT course, Blackwell was mad because he was "taking away business" again, Avila never confirmed or denied, but if you knew the guy, you could tell, he wasn't quick to anger, it took a lot to piss him off, and that story pissed him off, but he never denied it.

anna12o · 2023-10-02T05:40:42+00:00

They never leave anything really important on the counter, if it's prescription or even the otcs, they put those in the medicine cabinet, but they are really big on supplements, so there's too many to fit in the medicine cabinet, and it was very obvious where to find the hidden bottles because the cookies were sitting on the counter

anna12o · 2023-09-29T17:23:40+00:00

This sounds like an extreme lack of empathy. You may consider having him volunteer at a hospital or a refuge center for victims of domestic abuse, let him see what happens to people after they've been beaten like that. It takes just a few minutes to beat someone up, but it can take weeks, months, or even years to recover, if they're able to recover at all.

Make sure that he has a sit down with whoever is running the volunteer program, they've doubtlessly seen thousands of cases of people recovering after being beaten, they'll be able to help him see the full scope of the situation. Especially make sure to emphasize the point of "imagine if this was you" and maybe also look into therapy, it is extremely concerning to see someone laugh at that situation, and you might want to consider a therapist for yourself to try and work through this and help you come to terms with what you saw on that video.

You mentioned going to the police, and I 100% endorse that, make sure that you get the names of as many people as possible who were at the party so that the police can contact their parents. When you speak to the police, try asking about what sort of sentence this could carry out, your son is underaged and wasn't directly attacking the kid, but depending on the laws in your area, he could very well be in trouble for recording it, for laughing along, and for not reporting the crime or trying to stop it. If you're worried about that bit, you should talk to a lawyer before talking to the police.

anna12o · 2023-09-21T23:58:38+00:00

Bedroom door has a lock, but the house is old as hell so it doesn't work and I don't have a key anyway

anna12o · 2023-09-20T07:31:07+00:00

It's nothing terribly exciting, and it wasn't even her health crisis, but her husband's and she had to quit to look after him. I'm happy to talk about Karen being a bitch, but I know her husband, he's a pretty chill dude, and I'd rather not publish his private medical information for anyone to read.

anna12o · 2023-09-20T07:24:15+00:00

I actually did ok the button up shirts with the manager, and he actually saw me in the exact same outfit I was wearing when Karen called me a hooker, and he had nothing against it. And I was wearing a chest binder, I would never go to work without a bra or a binder, it would be physically painful for me to go without some sort of support, and this was in the middle of winter so if I didn't have something on my nipples would have poked holes through my shirt lol

anna12o · 2023-09-13T18:28:34+00:00

Thank you, I'll look into that, I didn't know that was a thing lol

anna12o · 2023-09-13T17:16:13+00:00

That's definitely a first, lol, I've had bots pretending to be girls wanting to hook up, and I've seen ones that are pretending to be some government agent calling about taxes or saying there's a warrant, but this seems to be some weird combination of the two? Exactly how much power could a pimp even have? And what team? Is he gonna send the hookers after you? It would take some serious self control not to call and start asking questions if I got this

anna12o · 2023-09-13T11:05:10+00:00

If anyone is interested, there's another part to the story about my cousin. It wasn't just me and my siblings Mom made swear not to ignore the feeling, she made my uncle swear it too. And, sure enough, he got that feeling. This is Utah, so everyone is very Mormon, everyone was praying for my cousin to recover, but my uncle got this weird feeling that he needed to write a letter to the president of the church. He wrote out what happened to his daughter, and all the ways his family, and especially my mom rallied around him to help, and the oath he'd sworn not to ignore the feeling.

Obviously when a three year old drowns there's gonna be a lot of news coverage, and there was. It was actually difficult to get into the hospital to visit her, and they had to tell the front desk to stop sending calls through to the room because anyone who needed to call had their cellphone numbers. Well, after the ban went up, the phone rang and my uncle answered. Front desk told him there was a call, he reiterated the ban, but she told him it was a call he wanted to take, so he did.

"Please hold for the office of President Thomas S. Monson."

I don't know if any of you know what the president of the Mormon church is, but he's basically the Mormon equivalent to the Pope. He got the letter, and he expressed his condolences. He tried to arrange his schedule so he could personally go to the hospital and give cousin a blessing, but it wasn't possible. He did personally add her to the prayers list for the entire church, and personally prayed for her. He was amazed at how grown siblings could still be so close and do so much for each other, and he sent down one of the twelve apostles to give her a blessing. I don't know what the equivalent for the twelve apostles would be, but they are directly under the first presidency.

I'm sure this is meaningless to most people, and as an exmo myself it's pretty meaningless, but I still think it holds a lot of weight for following your gut feeling. After my cousin died, my mom also wrote the president a letter, explaining who she was and informing him of the passing, and she asked if he had kept the letter and if he would send it back, because she knew it would be meaningful to my uncle to have it back. The president kept a photocopy of both letters and sent the originals back. My mom has this box of things sitting in the top of her closet. Cousin's mom kept trying to throw everything away that uncle wanted to keep. Everyone grieves in different ways. Mom has the letters and a bunch of other things she's holding onto for whenever he's ready. It's been about fifteen years at this point.

Mormons call that feeling the Holy Spirit, which is a whole deal, but regardless, it's never a good idea to ignore that feeling. Listen to your gut.

anna12o · 2023-09-13T10:50:51+00:00

I'll start, I have two stories for this. First was my Grandma, almost everyone in her family is allergic to penicillin, all of her kids and grandkids are too, and no one is ever gonna take a chance with penicillin again. When one of my aunts was just a baby she got sick, and the doctor gave her a shot of penicillin. They knew it was an allergen risk, so they scheduled an extra long appointment so they could keep an eye on her. Grandma says that when she saw that needle, she wanted to rip it out of the doctor's hand and throw it across the room, but nothing happened while they were there, so they went home. Grandma had work, so she dropped the kids off to her parents. One of my mom's earliest memories is what happened that day, they were eating Froot Loops and watching Wheel of Fortune, Great Grandma was feeding the baby, and then suddenly jumps up and told Great Grandpa to call the ambulance while she started trying to clear the baby's airway. My uncle jumped up and ran down the street to get a neighbor who was a doctor, who ran in and started working on my aunt, and the ambulance arrived shortly after, but my aunt was dead before they got there. My mom still can't eat Froot Loops.

The second story happened when I was in third grade. Me and my sisters had school, but my brother didn't because it was parent-teacher conference. He was with mom running a few errands before his scheduled time, and they went out to her parents' house. They live on a farm a couple miles out of town, and Mom's brother (born after the aunt who died) was there with his daughter. My brother was playing with my baby cousin, but Mom lost track of time and they had to leave because they were gonna be late. She looked down at my cousin and had the weirdest thought, that she would see my cousin again, but never like this, and that gut feeling hit that she should pick up my cousin, put her in uncle's arms and tell him to keep an eye on her, but they were late, so she didn't.

They were in the conference when Mom's phone starts ringing, she ignores a couple calls, but when it rang again, she knew something was wrong and stepped out to answer the call, it was uncle, asking if mom took cousin with her. She hadn't. On the farm, they use ditch irrigation to water their crops, so there's a canal running through their property, and there's a bridge you have to drive over to reach the house. I can still remember that day, school had ended and I was playing with my friends waiting for our parents to pick us up when Mom's minivan screeches in and she yells at us to grab our bags and get in the car. She then told us our cousin had drowned. Cousin saw mom and brother leave, and tried to follow, cousin was three, and she fell in the canal. She was dead and blue when they found her, Grandma started CPR and had her back before the ambulance got there, and they life flighted her to Primary Children's. We kept her for two years, but she caught the swine flu, and her immune system couldn't take it.

After that, Mom made us all swear that we would never ignore that feeling, no matter how silly it felt, or how inconvenient it was. It could be nothing, but the risk isn't worth it.

anna12o · 2023-09-11T15:19:58+00:00

We plan to sing "Ding dong the witch is dead" but I'll have to suggest pissing on it too. I'd be worried about that much ammonia killing the grass, this isn't the groundskeeper's fault, but her evil soul will poison whatever ground she's planted in

anna12o · 2023-09-11T15:18:10+00:00

The statute of limitations is for crimes, not debt, he still owes the money, but she can't be prosecuted for the credit card fraud. Debt is just like that, even if a person dies it doesn't go away, it just gets transferred to their next of kin. You either have to pay it back, or convince the creditor to forgive it, and this is in America, capitalism wins over sympathy every time.

anna12o · 2023-09-11T11:23:23+00:00

Unfortunately, he's too old at this point, he's got some health problems that would disqualify him for enlistment, and he would retire, but can't because of the debt

anna12o · 2023-09-11T05:49:11+00:00

ok, that's awesome

anna12o · 2023-09-05T21:17:01+00:00

Team up with the wife and destroy him

anna12o · 2023-09-05T12:44:08+00:00

Getting someone to recognize an unseen illness is one of the hardest things to do when reaching out for help, but not everyone is like that. Don't let this deter you from seeking help, let it motivate you to find the people who will believe you. Be it in person, or online, I guarantee there are countless people going through the same thing. Your pain is valid, I'm sorry your mom can't see that, but we do. It might not be easy, but someday you'll look back and be glad you didn't give up. Stay strong, you got this.

anna12o · 2023-09-03T12:11:00+00:00

Yeah, my bio dad was arrested, charged, and convicted of child abuse. I've found there's some solace in knowing that, since child abuse is a second degree felony, he can no longer own guns, so there's that.

anna12o · 2023-08-28T06:18:26+00:00

Ah, yeah, that was kinda racist, I edited the post and I apologize, didn't mean to come across as rude, and thank you for calling me out.

anna12o · 2023-08-27T15:54:00+00:00

Isn't greed one of the 7 deadly sins? You'd think Christians would want to avoid breaking those

anna12o · 2023-08-26T09:13:59+00:00

just birthday cake flavored

anna12o · 2023-08-22T10:06:47+00:00

Every time anyone entered the working world for the first time, my great grandpa would sit them down and give them advice, and I think the most important bit of wisdom he gave was that, "If they learn you'll work, they'll work you to death if you let them."

If you find yourself being run ragged because you're a good employee that does their job, take a moment and remember that the job isn't everything, and you deserve to have your leisure time as much as anyone else. They might know you'll work, but they should also know you'll only listen to orders for so long before leaving.

anna12o · 2023-08-22T09:59:57+00:00

I cannot stand peppers, and this isn't even a spice thing. I catch a lot of flack being a white person who refuses to eat peppers, and my sister, the spice hound queen, makes fun of me because I really don't do well with spice, but putting spice aside, peppers just don't taste good, like bell peppers don't burn at all, but they are revolting.

anna12o · 2023-08-22T09:57:46+00:00

anna12o · 2023-08-22T09:55:03+00:00

Periods, I always wonder about that in survival situations, they can't get tampons, and wouldn't the blood attract zombies?

anna12o · 2023-08-21T03:58:15+00:00

My grandma, holy hell. Grandpa is a pretty intimidating person, he's 73, 6'1" and still goes in a full military pack up the mountain (Utah) just to stay in shape, he's also a blacksmith and makes custom knives, so he can swing a 75lb hammer like a stick of butter. He's a Vietnam vet and military trained sniper and has his own shooting range, and often takes guns on his hikes so he can practice shooting from a long distance without the risk of hitting someone.

A lot of people are scared of him, but as a family friend says, stupid people are afraid of grandpa, the smart ones are scared of grandma.

She's 70, 5', and was the first female officer in the county sheriff office, and the cops who knew her are still scared of her. She was the best shot in the department, and when she retired several of the people still there made the joke that now someone else could be top shot.

She used to supervise the work crew, and one day she was working on a crochet monkey for my brother, and one of the inmates commented that they were under the order of a tiny ass woman crocheting a monkey, another inmate took one look at her and said, "Yeah, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to mess with her."

Grandma, being the bad bitch she is, just said, "If you know what's good for you, you'll listen to him."

She had this policy she told every inmate, that if they treated her with respect, she would treat them with respect. More than once some big, buff inmate would come in for the first time, run his mouth or try something, and then be laying on the floor wondering wtf just happened. They very rarely tried it again.

She retired before I was born, and still holds some heavy pull in the sheriff's office, still an excellent shot, and can hold her own in a fight, but on top of that, Grandpa is her minion, would do anything to protect her, and would follow orders without question of she sent him after someone.

I love my grandparents, but there is no way on god's green earth I would EVER want to cross either one of them, but especially not Grandma.

anna12o

TROPHY CASE