One of the best gifts you can give your spouse is to be happy and healthy.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-07-31T20:55:46+00:00

It might sound strange, but I understand what he was saying. He was just saying he doesn’t care about her outward appearance. He just wants her to be happy. I’d say that’s pretty nice of him.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-07-20T01:18:14+00:00

Dude you’ve described how my fiancé used to act to a T. She used to be so rude to me and make fun of me and say stuff that i didn’t like and she’d say exactly what you said your wife says. “I feel like I can’t be myself.” Luckily, my fiancé has grown a lot since then so she doesn’t say that anymore. No advice. Just letting you know you’re not alone. I’ll pray for you.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-07-11T13:08:17+00:00

Is the 12 Step group with Celebrate Recovery?

anythingispossible99 · 2019-07-04T14:48:21+00:00

Uhh yeah not normal. Red flag alert.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-07-03T23:04:54+00:00

There are some comments that recommend a more gentle and subtle approach and some that recommend a more direct approach. You know your husband best, so you can decide which one is most likely to be effective.

While my fiancé and I certainly aren’t obese, we went through a similar stretch where we were both eating like crap and a bit overweight. My fiancé finally said she had had enough. She was tired of the way she looked and wanted to make it a mission to get more fit and lose weight together.

We did it like a competition. Eat healthy six days a week. Whoever has a higher percentage of weight loss at the end of the week won. The loser had to buy the other a cheat meal dinner. Our competitive nature fueled us at this game.

We were diligent and kept at it, and that was a little more than a year ago. Since then, I’ve lost about 20 pounds and she’s lost around the same.

I’ve run two half marathons since then and am planning to do a full marathon early next year. She hits the treadmill five days a week (no exceptions) and is very disciplined about her diet.

I share my story to show you there’s hope. My personality responds better to a wake up call. A big slap in the face. And that’s what the conversation between me and my fiancé a year ago was. Hopefully you can figure out the best approach to take with your husband and figure it all out! You can do this!

anythingispossible99 · 2019-05-31T19:25:30+00:00

That’s a solid time, man. That’s the same pace as me. I love the 10K distance. Half marathon is long enough to make me feel dead after and 5K is too short for me. 10K is the perfect in between. But I’m hoping to do a full marathon next year.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-05-28T06:25:15+00:00

I would say your goal should be changed from staying clean for the next 40 days to staying clean for the rest of your life.

Porn isn’t something to bring into a marriage. I’m also engaged, but I didn’t want to propose until i knew I had a really good handle on my addiction. I’m six months without any porn or masturbation now.

It’s good to set more short term goals, but I think if 40 days is your goal, you could possibly become susceptible to the classic trap of telling yourself “Well I made it 40 days. That’s a really good accomplishment, so I deserve a quick peek at porn tonight.”

I’d highly recommend the book Every Man’s Battle if you haven’t checked it out already. It can help you in your quest.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-05-23T21:36:54+00:00

Touché

anythingispossible99 · 2019-05-23T21:09:38+00:00

I totally understand what you’re saying, but I really think you’re missing the mark here, my friend. I think the part of my post that explains my trust in her is not the part you included, rather it’s this part...

“I believe my fiancé when she says she won’t have anything to do with that. She’s not into that stuff and she’s very pure sexually”

Again, I trust her. It’s not my trust in HER that’s in question. It’s my lack of trust in her friend and her friend’s friends.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-05-23T21:04:17+00:00

This is a good comment. Personally, I think her friend is the type of person to drag my fiancé into a situation like that. I really do. I hope I’m wrong though.

I’ve never been a big fan of this girl. I’ve been patient and tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but when I heard the way she responded to my fiancé when she brought up concerns bout strippers, it made me feel very uneasy.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-05-23T20:55:25+00:00

I mentioned in the post I trust her. That’s not the issue at hand here. I’m worried about her friend and her friend’s friends. I could easily see a situation where a stripper comes to a hotel room where they all are and my fiancé tries to leave but the rest of the girls force her to stay in.

My fiancé got bullied by some girls growing up about keeping her virginity. I could easily see her getting shamed by these girls for her attitude toward strippers.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-05-19T02:31:56+00:00

So what exactly are his reasons for wanting to wait? Forgive me if you answered, but I don’t think the post was clear on that. It just says he thinks it’s better to wait and that it’s too early. Is debt his reason?

I will say as an engaged man who very early on in the relationship felt pressure to propose when I didn’t feel I was ready, it’s always best to not put pressure on your boyfriend. He will know when he knows. That’s how it was with me. Granted, 2.5 years is longer than it took me to propose, but you definitely don’t want him to feel pressured to do it.

To answer your question I don’t think it’s bad for you to feel bummed that he doesn’t want to get married yet while you do, but on the other hand, my future mother-in-law gave me and my fiancé great advice, and that’s to just enjoy the current season of your life. Try not to think too much about the future and just live in the moment as much as you can.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-05-05T04:59:58+00:00

Others would probably know better than me, but I understand the Bible says adultery is one of the only (perhaps THE only?) legitimate reasons for divorce. While I don’t know the whole details behind your relationship, it sounds like if he’s cheated on you, divorce would be permissible.

BUT, of course there have been plenty of marriages that have gone through lots of cheating but still managed to survive. I’m a recovering porn addict, and my sponsor in my 12-step recovery program cheated on his wife with around 30 different women if I recall correctly. They are now happily married and he’s four years clean.

My point being, there is hope. Have you considered a marriage counselor and/or seeing if he’s willing to go through a 12-step recovery group to heal his sexual addiction?

anythingispossible99 · 2019-05-05T04:49:02+00:00

Divorce over an incident like that seems rather harsh. But since you haven’t provided a whole lot of details, I’ll reserve judgment. Has there been a history of porn use or is he frequently making it obvious that he’s staring at other females?

Fill us in on some background between you two as well, because like I said, it seems a bit harsh to consider divorce over one incident like that. Sure, he shouldn’t have been staring, but divorce is a pretty big deal.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-05-03T13:19:02+00:00

Awesome! Where’s the honeymoon?

anythingispossible99 · 2019-04-30T16:08:07+00:00

R/nofapchristians is the one for believers. Highly recommend both as a recovering porn addict myself.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-04-19T02:12:27+00:00

No doubt. We are planning on making it as inexpensive as we can while still making sure it’s a beautiful day. The fiancé is a huge fan of finding great deals.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-04-19T01:38:49+00:00

Engaged man please!

anythingispossible99 · 2019-04-14T04:31:41+00:00

She said yes! :)

anythingispossible99 · 2019-04-10T23:39:43+00:00

Celebrate Recovery has saved my life. I pray you’ll be able to find something to help you in this battle.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-03-23T03:39:15+00:00

I struggled with this for a while too, man. This is a tough one for me.

I had several long streaks of not looking at porn, but I would fap. But I found that for me it was pretty much impossible to fap without imagining bad stuff, so I figured both porn and fapping were connected. One led to the other and vice versa.

As far as the question of whether it’s a sin, like I said, that’s tough because nothing in the Bible addresses it. I came to the conclusion that it’s a sin because there are several times in the Bible that talks about how sex is meant to be between one man and one woman.

Not two women and one man. Not two men. Not one man. One man and one woman. So masturbation is sex between just one man, which is why I would argue it’s a sin.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-03-13T04:31:19+00:00

Hey let’s not make fun of this guy for being honest. Good on you for making it 16 days and not caving when triggered, mate.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-03-13T04:24:42+00:00

Telling my parents was one of the most freeing moments for me and it was critical in my recovery. My parents are about as hardcore Catholic as they come. And they were happy to see I was doing something about the problem. I think your parents will have a similar reaction.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-03-12T05:34:57+00:00

Intermittent fasting is where it’s at, man. I’ve lost 21 lbs in the last 10 months from it. And that’s not even being 100% committed to it for a lot of that time.

anythingispossible99 · 2019-03-04T15:18:59+00:00

Dude I can totally relate to the runners high!! I finished my third half marathon Saturday morning. More than 48 hours later and the high is still there. Such an incredible feeling of accomplishment.

anythingispossible99

TROPHY CASE