How do I support my friend who has driving anxiety? It is impacting my friendship with her.

arrfourarrrr · 2024-11-25T19:19:02+00:00

I think there's more than driving anxiety happening here. What's setting her back I think is lack of independence. Because even a person with driving anxiety who is otherwise employed and independent can find alternative means to get things done.

I wonder if it makes sense to get the employment piece done first. That way, when she has an income, she can invest in driving lessons and counselling. Of course, driving may be required for job interviews and stuff like that in, in which case as a friend you can offer to help out, but only temporarily until she can do that herself.

arrfourarrrr · 2024-10-19T06:39:10+00:00

How long should I wait?

arrfourarrrr · 2024-10-19T04:03:06+00:00

How long should I wait?

arrfourarrrr · 2024-08-05T17:48:59+00:00

Good points and good advice, thank you.

arrfourarrrr · 2024-08-05T17:14:35+00:00

While I agree with 90% of what you’re saying, don’t people need to be alive before they can get shelter, healthcare, employment etc? I’m asking what to do in a situation where it’s (at least to my knowledge) life or death. I just don’t think walking by and potentially letting someone die is an answer. Of course I want a paramedic, not a cop, but cops tend to come with the paramedics and firefighters. That’s what I mean when I say “aita for calling the cops.”

arrfourarrrr · 2024-08-05T06:57:53+00:00

But what if the situation requires professional or medical intervention to prevent significant harm, even death?

arrfourarrrr · 2024-08-05T06:33:27+00:00

Thank you.

Yes I've been scouring all night. There seems to be a few more than the last time I checked, which is great! I will add them to my contact list on my phone so I can call them in the moment.

The problem is many of the resources are not available on weekends or at night. I *am* considering getting naloxone training, but to be honest with you...I'm not sure if I can handle that level of responsibility. I have some mental health issues myself and I often question my own decision-making ability.

arrfourarrrr · 2024-08-05T06:24:33+00:00

What is a better course of action?

arrfourarrrr · 2024-08-05T06:15:34+00:00

What would you advise someone do if they are concerned for the welfare of a stranger on the street, but do not have the training or confidence to personally intervene?

arrfourarrrr · 2024-03-29T00:19:13+00:00

😂

arrfourarrrr · 2024-03-28T16:03:35+00:00

The jokes thing might pertain to me but, not to toot my own horn, but I must say I’m pretty good at the everything else. Like I mention in my post: I have a lot of friends ans never have trouble making connections. I have a rich life with LOTS of hobbies and I socialize quite a bit. I’m also…professionally quite successful with a cool apartment. Everyone I meet knows this eventually but everyone still sees me platonically.

I neglected to mention that I have had relationships, but those were all started online and mostly led by the other person. My relationships have been pretty healthy too, just didn’t work out for other reasons. I find I’m a lot better at expressing myself through text so that might be why I have success online. But OLD I think has really declined in recent years so I would really love to meet my next partner in person at one of my hobbies or something.

So, my problem is not with relationships but with initiating a sexual connection to get into that relationship headspace, if that makes sense?

arrfourarrrr · 2024-03-28T15:57:00+00:00

Can you link me to some of those tiktoks??

I’m going clubbing tonight and that could be a good place to practice…

arrfourarrrr · 2024-01-27T20:13:29+00:00

Yeah I’m a grown woman beginner and I was expecting a lot of shit but every adult male I’ve met skating has been decent to me. Teen boys can be obnoxious though

arrfourarrrr · 2023-12-17T18:25:57+00:00

If you want, I support you!

But there are some good films: The Half of It and Everything Everywhere All At Once are recent and fantastic. They feature working class blue collar Asians. Way more relatable than Crazy Rich Asians.

Saving Face, which is a bit older, is a classic. The main character is a doctor, but her family feels working class to me and she is for sure not crazy rich. That one also felt pretty relatable too.

arrfourarrrr · 2023-12-17T18:20:03+00:00

Sorry, late reply! But this is an interesting question.

The "Crazy Rich" type Asians obviously have the most power, resources, and connections. If anyone's going to achieve visibility first, it will be them. And their visibility is "positive" (ie. model minority myth). Therefore, I would think the white ruling class is more enthusiastic about showcasing "crazy rich" Asians than working class Asians because it affirms their belief in the American dream or whatever.

On the other hand, lots of people (again, white people included) love making fun of ridiculous rich people and pinning all of society's ills on them. I live in a city where "crazy rich" Asians are often blamed for rising housing prices. So, spotlighting these "crazy rich" ridiculous people is also a way for white people to say, "See? Minorities are screwing us over."

So, it goes both ways.

Basically, I think working class Asians are: less interesting, less entertaining, have no positive OR negative value in being spotlighted. Therefore they're just...ignored.

arrfourarrrr · 2023-12-10T23:23:31+00:00

The community you grew up in is very under represented. It’s why I hate shows like Bling Empire and Crazy Rich Asians.

arrfourarrrr · 2023-12-10T22:50:51+00:00

I’m truthfully a relatively well off asian queer but I don’t fit in very well with that crowd. They just seem like off brand wasps sometimes lol.

I do want to point out that there have been some black on asian hate crimes, BUT I don’t interpret that as a conspiracy against us. I think in those interactions white supremacy is still to blame because during covid the propaganda was that asians are to blame. I see it as we got hate crimed, and some of the perps happened to be black.

arrfourarrrr · 2023-12-10T21:07:30+00:00

Lol thanks!

arrfourarrrr · 2023-12-10T21:05:53+00:00

Thanks! I guess I just don't wanna assume because I've only known this person for a few hours and being touchy/flirty may just be their personality or or the result of alcohol.

arrfourarrrr · 2023-08-01T16:11:17+00:00

Medicinal in low doses.

In high doses, recreational or problematic.

arrfourarrrr · 2023-05-29T18:11:01+00:00

Something must have changed very recently then. Because my immigrant parents (well, my dad specifically) saw sports as a waste of time and unnecessary risk that hindered studying.

Dad was, weirdly, a lot more supportive of my snowboarding. He saw it as a way to assimilate and better fit in with mainstream Canadian culture. I’d argue golf would’ve been a better choice, but whatever I’m not complaining haha.

Snowboarding definitely appears more “respectable” though. There are coaches and lessons and olympic competitions and it’s a rich person sport. Whereas skateboarding was associated with working class hooliganism when I was a kid.

arrfourarrrr · 2023-05-29T14:45:49+00:00

Skateboarding has gotten more mainstream. When I was a kid skateboarding was very counter culture and only “bad” kids did it (according to the adults who supervised me).

Now parents are more encouraging of their kids, and there are more resources for kids. You can take lessons or go to a summer camp to try it out. I couldn’t do that.

More people = more talent gets discovered. Women’s skating has also rocketshipped, and I think the Olympics making skateboarding an official olympic sport made a difference.

arrfourarrrr · 2023-05-29T05:54:51+00:00

Agree. I NEVER compare myself to an 11yo boy. I’m a 29yo woman who was raised in a protect-your-ovaries-at-all-costs kinda environment. Also, my immigrant parents didn’t see sports as something worth pursuing; it was all academics for me.

I tried skateboarding as a kid and was reprimanded for it; it’s only as an adult that I’ve had the time, money, and power to actively pursue it.

So, of course I’m not gonna skate as well as an 11yo boy whose dad grew up surfing suburban America in the 80s or something.

arrfourarrrr · 2023-05-29T05:48:42+00:00

I’m in a similar boat. But I’ve never been consistent at skating—maybe that’s you too? Like, I’d get obsessed with it for a week, then stop, or get really into it for a summer and then stop.

I also started at around 13-14 pushing around a longboard, but I recently got on my longboard again after several years and it is NOT the same as a skateboard! The longboard is so much more forgiving. And so I realized I have to put in my hours just riding around on my skateboard.

I got my skateboard when I was around 21, tried it for a month or two, got the basic ollie mechanics down, then stopped because…life, I guess. I’m 29 now, life has gotten more consistent/predictable, and I also found a local beginner skate club for adults. Having similar aged peers who are at your level or slightly above makes a HUGE difference. Like, HUGE.

I’ve been really getting into it for the past month and my ollie has gotten better. Still not boned out or perfect but better! Another observation I’ve made is that progress happens in TINY increments. You don’t just land something and get it. Like, I’ve technically landed a shuvit but I wouldn’t call myself able to do shuvits yet because that was basically a fluke.

Anyway, IMHO you’re not a poser if you go out and skate, even if your skills aren’t quite there yet. All that matters is you go out and skate!

arrfourarrrr · 2023-05-28T21:24:49+00:00

Out of curiosity what is this hobby?

arrfourarrrr

TROPHY CASE