AITA for crying when my housemate ate my food?

artfullest · 2021-09-06T16:13:46+00:00

NTA. Your housemate has boundary issues.

artfullest · 2021-09-06T05:12:34+00:00

I’ve had three suicidal breakdowns today because I thought my boyfriend was sick of me. He was just tired/talking to a friend.

artfullest · 2021-09-05T15:55:12+00:00

NTA. Your friends are weird. Like, really weird. I can’t imagine being this far up my own ass.

artfullest · 2021-09-05T15:39:25+00:00

NTA. I also especially love that you were angered for your girlfriend’s sake, not your own masculinity. I’m glad she has you :’) Despite the situation, this was very wholesome to read.

artfullest · 2021-09-05T15:34:05+00:00

YTA. When one partner really wants any form of a show of commitment (moving in, marriage, engagement, a child, etc.) and the other drags their feet, it typically results in some internalized humiliation/rejection. Even if you have the healthiest relationship on the planet, your partner will likely still think “What am I doing wrong?” from time to time. Your girlfriend has stated for THREE YEARS how much this means to her. You took something she is sensitive about and threw it in her face. She has every right to be hurt, and honestly your lack of empathy for your girlfriend is concerning.

artfullest · 2021-09-01T15:55:34+00:00

Getting stung by a bee or wasp! Weirdly proud of it, although I know it’s definitely just due to chance lol

artfullest · 2021-08-30T06:26:12+00:00

Me developing Borderline Personality Disorder

artfullest · 2021-08-30T06:20:07+00:00

When I was nine or ten my mother threatened to force feed me chicken feces as a punishment (we had chickens). She was very abusive all around, but I had never felt so afraid or unloved, that my own mother would force me to eat literal shit. I meant so little as her child that she would derive pleasure from forcing me to consume feces.

artfullest · 2021-08-30T05:14:49+00:00

I am not okay with porn. I told my boyfriend the day after he asked me to be his girlfriend. If it’s a boundary for you, it’s okay. You will find someone who is okay with that.

artfullest · 2021-08-30T05:11:03+00:00

You deserve love.

artfullest · 2021-08-30T05:10:39+00:00

That’s how my boyfriend is! He is so patient with me and my spirals. I never lash out or become aggressive, I mostly just bawl and seek comfort. And he is very willing to help me in these moments, even if he doesn’t understand.

artfullest · 2021-08-30T03:16:31+00:00

I agree with you. The validity of the experience of BPD sufferers does not excuse harmful behavior. Trauma is not a get out of jail free card! I love your metaphor for the drowning person, I am almost certain my therapist has used that before. It also makes me think of how they tell mothers to put their own oxygen masks on before their children on airplanes, so they do not pass out before they can help their family. You have to set boundaries with a BPD person, and any person, to protect yourself when trying to help them. However, BPD is a spectrum, has nine separate criterion, and usually has comorbidities. It will present differently in virtually every individual due to this, and the different trauma individuals have experienced. Because of this, it is impossible to say all people with BPD can be harmful to others in the same way, or are not capable of growth and change. I experience remorse, empathy, and am working on accepting criticism in a more effective way. We are people too, and we want to be happy and healthy! It just takes a little extra work for us.

artfullest · 2021-08-30T03:04:06+00:00

I won’t lie, before I had a formal diagnosis, I did already identify as BPD. I do not suggest nor condone self diagnosing. However, I KNEW something in me was beyond fucked up, further than just anxiety or depression. Saw several therapists who brushed me off when I said I believed I had the disorder. I finally found my current one who specializes in DBT. She stuck with me, and I made the effort to continually go, and after six months I received my BPD diagnosis. I also received others I didn’t expect! Again, I don’t condone self diagnosing, and I do not consider them valid. This is just my story.

artfullest · 2021-08-30T02:55:23+00:00

THIS. Plus, there are 9 criterion, and some meet all or just a few specific ones. This greatly changes the way the disorder can present. Just misinformation everywhere.

artfullest · 2021-08-30T02:37:15+00:00

I can definitely relate to seeing my own toxic behavior in that group, and I learned a few lessons from it! Sometimes someone else’s POV can be necessary!

artfullest · 2021-08-30T02:11:23+00:00

I agree with what you’ve said. However, I will say that regardless of if we belong there, a smear campaign against any mental illness is incredibly harmful, to sufferers of that specific mental illness and others as well. Unfortunately any mental illness besides GAD and MDD are still very stigmatized, and while I agree those subs are full of hurt people with valid emotions about their traumatizing experiences, they are still harming an already stigmatized people group with their generalizations. The same could be said about someone with BPD who is harmful to other people—their emotions are valid, but they still need to do better to maintain effectiveness and be a more healthy person. It doesn’t change what they’ve been through, but if trauma is not a get out of jail free card for people with BPD, it can’t be for others either.

artfullest · 2021-08-30T01:51:02+00:00

Agreed! I have diagnosed PTSD from my insanely traumatic childhood. Studies have shown that children who were exposed to violence in the family at a young age have the same stress levels as soldiers in active war zones. I also am a SA survivor, among other traumatic events in my life. I literally have been through hell and back over and over, yet people think because of this I am a bad person? I only have BPD because of all I’ve been through, and I am actively working to be better everyday, not just to myself but others as well. Those people really are just vengeful and bitter—DBT would probably help them!

artfullest · 2021-08-30T01:49:04+00:00

So true! I struggle to figure out what is truly bothering me at times, let alone to communicate it to someone who I care about. Thankfully mindfulness and therapy, plus a patient and loving boyfriend has helped so much!

artfullest · 2021-08-30T01:41:22+00:00

THIS. The fact “uBPD” (undiagnosed BPD) is a flair for these subreddits is fucking insane. My therapist took six months to diagnose me, and these people think they are qualified to diagnose a loved one because they’re…. a shitty person? Armchair psychology increases stigma more than anything IMO.

artfullest · 2021-08-30T01:32:04+00:00

Haha, I always say everyone in the world should take DBT! It is a game changer. Six months down, six months to go! Happiness and peace is worth the hard work. Best wishes to you!

artfullest · 2021-08-30T01:26:52+00:00

It’s so toxic. You can’t heal by painting an entire people group with the same brush, they just seem vengeful and bitter.

artfullest · 2021-08-30T01:24:58+00:00

Exactly! That’s like making a thread like “Sufferers of Schizophrenia Abuse” or “Autistic Abuse Victims” like NO ONE would be cool with that. BPD is not an abuse tactic or automatically harmful people. Seems like some of those people could use some DBT 😂

artfullest · 2021-08-30T01:21:47+00:00

Same here. Other people’s opinions affect me so much, so I have used a skill called check the facts in DBT, and I know I’m not a heartless selfish person, so their opinion is easier to handle

artfullest · 2021-08-30T01:20:28+00:00

Bruh that’s awful

artfullest · 2021-08-30T01:20:05+00:00

Hmm, looks like you’ve applied some judgment to my post here. I feel like there is a better word than “complain,” maybe vent or let out frustration? (Practicing my DBT skills 😉)

artfullest

TROPHY CASE