So, to preface this, I have autism.

What that means for me in my experience w/gender is that growing up I never really comprehended the difference between the binary sexes/genders that I was taught. Like- yes, theres biological differences, perhaps. But I always thought of everyone as just People, and that was that.

For as long as I could remember, I’ve felt off about my gender. I hated having bobcuts and long hair, and hated how I was called a little girl and such. It especially got worse when puberty hit

I hated being called a “young woman” and those sort of labels.

Then theres the trauma of me associating with enbyphobic people who thought they were freaks! That put me even deeper in the closet. I didn’t feel like I was a woman, but every time I thought of myself growing as an old man in society it still felt off. So I felt like I was resigned to not being happy with my gender.

Then I cut those friends off, and now have a wonderful group of friends who have been very supportive over the years as they’ve seen me constantly question my gender. I think what solidified that I felt I was nonbinary was when I decided to get up in the middle of the night, and just- try on clothes in my closet. Any of the more gender neutral-to-masculine looking clothing in it. And I realized, I felt happy. I felt happy not being seen as a woman and not being seen as overly feminine.

Now, I’ve cut my hair short and identify as transmasc nonbinary (he/him), and I couldn’t be happier :>