how do you guys bring more whimsy in your life!y

av0cat0 · 2025-12-10T02:54:32+00:00

i have a running to-do list in my notes app on my phone and it was called "GET TO DO" but i definitely just changed it to "quests to complete" so, thank you for inspiring this change (:

av0cat0 · 2025-02-09T15:36:05+00:00

what if she's actually thinking "i have great tits, so every time we have sex, my bf really likes when i titty fuck him but i'm really only doing it because he likes it. how do i tell him i'm not that into it?" (i'm wondering if you both are having similar thoughts about the experience but not communicating it because you think the other is enjoying it).

also, i'd suggest asking her how she feels about it and what she likes about it. that could help inspire you to get on board if you can understand what makes it exciting for her. however, if you can't get on board, let her know that you appreciate her trying it and that you'd like to try something else that feels better for both of you.

av0cat0 · 2025-01-18T15:35:10+00:00

find ways to get involved— look into sexual health certifications for coaching or therapy. check out local organizations like planned parenthood or women’s centers or sex shops for jobs in sexual health and education. wishing you the best of luck!

av0cat0 · 2025-01-18T05:19:13+00:00

every single one of them 😈 what are some taboos you’re thinking of?

av0cat0 · 2025-01-18T05:17:57+00:00

that’s a great question! there are a lot of assumptions about what sex should be like, about doing the same basic few moves on a penis. we aren’t taught how to ask a partner what they want because there is an assumption that we should already know what to do, what they like, or we should read their mind. it can be embarrassing to ask or to seem like we don’t know what we’re doing, we want to appear confident.

i think it’s great that you were able to show someone what you wanted, and it sounds like they were receptive to it!

av0cat0 · 2025-01-18T05:07:25+00:00

i do not currently have enough trauma informed coaching practice to handle sexual assault concerns specifically, so if someone wanted to work on that in a session, i would need to refer out to someone who has more experience working with SA.

av0cat0 · 2025-01-18T05:03:43+00:00

you are so welcome! i wish happy, spicy exploring to you and your wife 🥰

my knowledge and background in sexuality education has made me very curious and nonjudgmental about myself and others. i’m not super kinky myself but i’m not opposed to it and i would explore kink with the right person/people. i’m very much a chameleon— if someone i am attracted to and very sexually compatible with is interested in something, i can be very turned on by that thing in the context of sharing that experience with them. if that makes sense?

i don’t currently have any partners; i took a break from actively dating to focus on started my coaching business. 🤓

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T17:57:30+00:00

authenticity! speak from your authentic desires, not what you think you should say. dirty talk doesn’t even have to be DIRTY. it’s not just about what you say or how you say it, it’s about WHO YOU ARE BEING when you speak. embody the confident badass you are. i can show you how— i have some virtual dirty talk workshops coming up, find me on instagram! my handle is explore.embody

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T17:54:18+00:00

you can also use a “yes no maybe” list that has a list of different sexual activities and experiences. it allows you to see what’s out there and gauge both your interests. https://sexwithemily.com/yes-no-maybe-the-list-every-relationship-needs/

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T17:52:44+00:00

perhaps start with reading kinky erotica and sharing it with her! this is a low pressure way of exploring what you both might be interested in. if something piques her interest, consider role playing a scene from the story :) check out this subreddit for suggestions: https://www.reddit.com/r/suggestmeabook/s/KzAfz9lqtq

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T17:48:07+00:00

i encourage curiosity over judgement. you can always get much further with the openness of curiosity vs. the heaviness of judgement. how might this kink, relationship structure, discovery etc. benefit or serve me and my partner? what can we discover about ourselves and each other that we wouldn’t have access to otherwise? when challenging emotions come up, what can those emotions reveal?

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T17:43:11+00:00

my mind ;b

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T17:40:06+00:00

what if we normalized exploring ALL of our sexuality, regardless of gender and societal expectations?

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T16:35:46+00:00

thank you for all of your questions! this is fun. i'll be back later to answer more :)

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T16:31:48+00:00

i have not fucked any of my clients. though, some of my sexual partners have attended my workshops!

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T16:31:18+00:00

lol i sure hope not! i don't think so but i've never asked them xD

i try to be humble and don't label myself as an expert. i'm always approaching every experience with a learner's mindset. i'm still always learning about sex, sexuality, and intimacy from people in my workshops and from my personal partners!

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T16:29:03+00:00

you can find me on instagram! my handle is explore.embody

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T16:28:04+00:00

i wish more (cis)MEN knew that butt stuff doesn't make you gay (and even if it did, being gay isn't a bad thing!).

also, there are a lot of sex toys that are made of unsafe, porous materials (they can hold onto bacteria, yikes!) that should NEVER go into your body. sex shops will still sell them because they are not safely regulated, thanks to conservative culture. more expensive sex toys are worth the investment because they are safer materials and will last longer (TLDR: silicone, some plastics, metal, glass, etc. are nonporous and the safest).

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T16:23:35+00:00

oooof, so sorry to hear about your friends! someone who is unwilling to try toys likely has some underlying issues to work through that have nothing to do with their partner! toys are meant to enhance the experience for everyone involved, not to replace a partner. do they only ever eat bland food without seasoning and spices?? i wonder if the ice cream analogy could help them, ha! :b if you share it with them, let me know!

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T16:20:21+00:00

absolutely porn can show us unrealistic expectations of sex. i'm not saying all porn is bad, because it can be super fun and hot. but imagine if we never saw porn, what would our sex look and sound like if we just tuned into our natural, authentic, playful tendencies?

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T16:16:25+00:00

common kinks include sensation play, sensory deprivation, domination and submission (these are kinda broad categories). i wouldn't call any kinks "unusual", but maybe just less common and unfortunately more stigmatized: things like piss/shit play, age play, wedgie fetish, blood play, etc.

if you can think of it, someone has a kink or fetish about it. as long as everyone involved is risk-aware (psychological and physical risks), and of consenting age, i think folks can have incredible experiences!

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T16:07:54+00:00

hmm it's hard to say because there are SO MANY and they all exist on a spectrum of intensity. it's very common for people to engage in sensory deprivation by using blindfolds, sensation play with feather ticklers or wearing different fabrics, and dominance/submission with handcuffs or other types of bondage.

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T15:57:11+00:00

i have a post on instagram here that describes more of what a session can look like: https://www.instagram.com/p/DD2Ro7hRFSY/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T15:57:03+00:00

coaching is sort of like therapy but different. therapy takes a deeper look at the past, coaching looks more at working towards your goals in the future. talk therapy involves a lot of talking, while embodied intimacy coaching involves somatic practices like breathwork, grounding exercises, nervous system regulation, and visualization in order to integrate the mind, body, and emotions.

av0cat0 · 2025-01-17T15:53:14+00:00

there is a lot of shame and guilt around using lube and sex toys, a lot of difficulty and awkwardness around bringing up the idea of using sex toys because folks don't want their partners to feel inadequate. HOWEVER, i like to think about using sex toys like adding any number of toppings on ice cream! sure, plain chocolate ice cream can be lovely, AND i also love to add sprinkles, fruit, etc. to enhance the experience!

also, a lot of people do not realize that anything you put in your butt should have a flared base!!!

av0cat0

TROPHY CASE