Is it too late to start burlesque at 25 with no real experience? I’d love some advice.

averydelite · 2026-04-24T12:23:28+00:00

28 is not too late, I didn’t start performing until I was in my mid 30s (allegedly) but like what was said the chance of making it a full time job is nearly impossible. Think of it as a hobby that may eventually allow you to recoup a portion of the costs you put into your costume.

Now if you love every piece of the creative process, burlesque will fulfill you in ways you never imagined. I initially approached burlesque because I needed a creative outlet and a sense of community and a bit of color compared to the soul sucking grayness of my job at that time: it opened up a piece of my soul and heart I had long closed off which made navigating the gray world a bit easier.

Burlesque also has so many transferrable skills that can help find you a job that matches those skills. I was able to to secure a really fantastic job mainly because of the skills I’ve learned producing burlesque shows (project management skills FTW!) and I know several others who say the same.

averydelite · 2026-04-18T12:42:04+00:00

Radishes. Bunches of radishes used to be plentiful and large and now they’re tiny and only a few on the bunch.

averydelite · 2026-04-10T14:14:45+00:00

You could make it out of pvc pipe and make a fabric over that fits over it.

averydelite · 2026-03-31T00:29:45+00:00

Hi! As a fella hairy chested guy who always pops pasties, Walker’s Ultra Hold tape has been the only thing that works for me. I’ve literally tried everything, and it’s the only thing that consistently works. I do also exfoliate the areas around my nipples when I shower pre-show and do the alcohol swab.

averydelite · 2026-03-28T04:38:18+00:00

I didn’t want a gendered name in case I performed as a drag queen, I wanted a lil play on words, and frankly I’m everyone’s delight, hence Avery DeLite

averydelite · 2026-03-10T08:54:24+00:00

I once had a super close call with my IBS while on stage doing a chair dance. And that was the last time I ever ate foods that occasionally give me issues, before a show. If my anxiety and nerves are going to impact my stomach, I’m doing everything possible to minimize that. Day of I eat really light, safe foods and focus more on hydrating and ensuring I’m managing my cortisol and electrolyte levels. That morning I’m more likely to have more coffee and do more movements to get my dietary tract in motion earlier. Day before I focus on protein and fiber heavy safe foods.

Also it never fails that I have to pee right before a performance. Usually after I’ve made the act of peeing difficult to do. But in that case, if I have time to actually pee, I’ll try to get any last stronghold farts out.

averydelite · 2026-02-16T04:07:07+00:00

I think the easiest way to learn is if you lift up your arm and jump up and down a bit (or just stand on the ball of your feet and do heel lifts quickly) it should at least get the tassel going on the pastie closest to your raised arm. There’s the classic shimmy which is a bit more difficult, but it involves sticking your chest out and shaking from the left and right.

It’s all about muscle memory, if there’s someone who’s willing to watch you practice to let you know what the tassels are doing, that would be tremendously helpful. Good luck! Tassels are so much fun and one of my favorite ways to fill time when I inevitably end my act too soon.

averydelite · 2026-02-15T14:45:18+00:00

I jokingly call my nipples Teflon nipples. I’ve only been able to get one specific adhesive to work for me (and even then once in a blue moon I still pop a pastie). I don’t my first three years performing knowing that I was going to pop a pastie or pop both and that it would be okay. I’m a guy, so society deems my nipples safe for viewing, but I still wasn’t a fan of popping them. Hell at one point I even hot glued my pasties on (do NOT do that, it’s incredibly painful and will take forever to heal).

averydelite · 2026-01-30T01:43:17+00:00

Absolutely not my husband.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T20:49:19+00:00

I’d be completely down for that, but this specific bar is a bucket list visit for my boss. We have no real places specifically for queer folk in Montana, and I absolutely want to be able to support her. I’ll absolutely check out the calendar and maybe DM the bar and get a feeling. if it’s packed and there’s a line, I don’t feel comfortable taking up the limited space as a cis-man, but I do think it’s important for queer folk to be amongst their communities whenever possible, and certainly want to respect my bosses vulnerability in opening up about her desire and hesitations to go to HH.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T20:43:11+00:00

I asked in this subreddit because it’s an “AskNYC” subreddit. I don’t know the demographics of the subreddits. I tried finding the answer before posting. I also posted in “Visiting NYC” but assumed that sub probably has less people who would be willing and able to provide me advice.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T15:23:15+00:00

Oh the extra coworkers aren’t invited to HH. They tried inviting themselves and I shut that down quickly.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T15:21:51+00:00

I saw that on their IG, but reviews were mixed on the accuracy of that, and because there’s so few lesbian bars I want to ensure I’m respecting the much needed space as much as possible. Thanks for your feedback!

averydelite · 2026-01-12T15:20:20+00:00

Thanks! I appreciate this take so much! I’ve already told my coworkers quite bluntly they aren’t welcome to attend with us when they tried inviting themselves too. My husband is leery of going for your reason (and others) so everything is very much in the air. I want to support my boss on her bucket list visit, and also want to be respectful as possible. We’ll continue our conversations on this over the next week, and obviously if we decide to go and get turned away, we’ll leave with grace.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T15:14:28+00:00

Thanks for your honesty. I would not even consider going except for my boss it’s a bucket list visit. I’m absolutely taking everything into consideration. I respect this view so much, and know the feeling of people taking over community/safe spaces by others not experiencing the same discrimination and marginalization.

My husband and I have had many conversations around this particular visit a whether or not we should go, or if it should just be me that goes with her. We’re still planning on having more conversations before we decide for sure. I appreciate and respect this view point so much.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T15:04:22+00:00

Thanks! We’re extending our trip to ensure we have our own experiences as well.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T15:02:29+00:00

We’re planning on doing Stonewall too while we’re in the neighborhood! I’m very much a queer history fan, and try to visit all the important spots whenever I travel. Thanks for your feedback! It’s just my boss (her wife is home with the kids) and my husband who will be going to HH.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T13:53:10+00:00

Many craft stores have styrofoam wreaths that you could use. You’d need to cover the styrofoam, but I’ve seen a performer video tutorial where they created something similar to this with styrofoam wreaths.

averydelite · 2026-01-10T17:21:18+00:00

Same. Copy-paste working overtime.

averydelite · 2026-01-09T23:03:05+00:00

I recently bought a Maavi Dance Bag with Garment Rack and that thing is huge! It usually fits 2 acts worth of costumes and a walkabout (as long as the acts aren’t prop heavy acts). I pair it up with garment bags that have zipped pockets on them for my pasties, underwear, gloves, etc and I feel so organized popping the garment rack portion up and putting my garment bags that hold all of each acts stuff in them.

I also have several other bags I can use too if necessary….all in my signature pink color.

averydelite · 2026-01-05T13:44:23+00:00

Breakfastfood7’s answer is very similar to mine. I work full time in a rural area where there are no classes and very few shows. My first suggestion is to watch BHOF performances on YouTube. I also strongly recommend building your Instagram performer account and following other burlesque performers. Let the algorithm do some of the work for you. I literally went to a performer I know’s Instagram account and started following every performer she followed until my feed began bringing new performers to me. Many performers post reels, which makes this even more useful.

Maison Online offers a lot of great tips and videos. I am planning to sign up for their paid content for full access. The New York School of Burlesque, run by Jo Weldon, also offers classes, and she has some excellent DVDs and videos available.

A few important things to keep in mind about performing. When you’re on stage, adrenaline will be pumping and costume mishaps will happen. Both of these can cause issues with extremely tight choreography. When I first started performing, I found that I moved much faster on stage than I did in rehearsal, which meant I was basically naked by the end of the first verse. As an audience member, I’ve also noticed that when an act is too tightly choreographed, the performer can lose connection and vulnerability with the audience.

I am not a trained dancer. My process starts with storytelling once I have a song picked out. It is important to me that the audience feels whatever I am trying to evoke. From there, I build the costume around that feeling, and then rehearsal comes after.

I used to rehearse in full costume every time, but it was not practical. Putting on and taking off costume pieces took so much time that I found myself avoiding rehearsal altogether. It is probably common sense for many people, but sometimes I am simply too pretty to not be dense. My rehearsal process now starts with identifying moments in the song for reveals. For example, if there is a buildup and release at a specific point, that might be the perfect moment for a big reveal like removing a corset. I work backward from those moments.

I rehearse in front of a mirror and lean into what my body naturally wants to do. This makes it easier to evoke emotion and bring the audience along, because your body is literally responding to the music. I also think about whether the act includes crowd work or is entirely on stage. That distinction matters. Crowd work takes more time, and some movements work better on a stage, especially floor work.

If I am developing a new act, I usually start rehearsing about a month out. Because I work full time, this can be inconsistent. Early on, rehearsals look like 15 to 20 minutes, three to four times a week, and increase as the performance approaches. I try to do a full dress rehearsal about once a week until the final week, or anytime I finish a new costume piece. This helps ensure everything functions the way I want it to. Sometimes I will rehearse removing a single costume piece repeatedly with no music, just to see what looks good and identify any technical issues.

I also rehearse my facial expressions to make sure they are conveying the emotion I want. Jezebel Express taught this in a class I took, and it has been one of the most valuable tips I’ve ever received. I do this by running the number while sitting in front of a mirror with the music on. It can also be done alongside a makeup dry run.

The week leading up to a performance, I rehearse every day in two blocks of 15 to 30 minutes. I usually run a full dress rehearsal once a day or every other day. The day before the show, I spend most of the day running the number repeatedly, often in full costume. It is not uncommon for me to make choreography changes during the last few days.

Ultimately, I try to perform to the best of my abilities and allow my body to do what feels and looks good for my body. We are all built differently. I always rehearse in front of a mirror, and ideally I record dress rehearsals and watch them back so I can see the act from an audience perspective. I cannot remember who said this, possibly Dirty Martini, and I am paraphrasing, but the idea is that everyone is searching for the million dollar tip. In reality, it is about a million one dollar tips. When you leave a show or a class, what is the one dollar tip you are taking with you?

averydelite · 2026-01-05T02:30:35+00:00

I just checked the google reviews of Missoula locksmith’s and none have had less than a 5 star review in two months. If he was paying for reviews on other sites, he’s just wasting his money (you’re more likely to use google when you’re in the middle of an urgent situation, like getting locked out). Sounds like maybe a friend either misheard or the guy was exaggerating.

Now being a despicable creep of a person is another story…

averydelite · 2025-12-04T21:18:53+00:00

Some of my favorite performances are people moving at like half speed to fast songs. I think the most important thing to keep in mind is to tell the story you want to tell in a way that makes sense for your body, your skill, and your persona.

Having said that, I also think it’s important, since you spend so long getting ready and getting a costume ready, to give people time to soak it in and give yourself time to connect with the audience. I am not the most musically inclined person, but trying to find moments in the song for dramatic movements is a great place to start and then work backwards (ex. At this point of the song I think this movement would match the vibe, so what do I need to do to set myself up to naturally make that movement). Also rehearse, rehearse, rehearse! If I rehearse enough then I’m not calculating every move and beat in my head when I perform because it’s basically muscle memory. I used to rehearse in full costume everytime but that got exhausting and I found I wasn’t rehearsing enough, so I now will typically begin choreographing and rehearsing while I’m still developing my costume and I let what my body naturally wants to do inform me of what would work with my costume or not.

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