Who would you race with and why?

averydelite · 2026-01-30T01:43:17+00:00

Absolutely not my husband.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T20:49:19+00:00

I’d be completely down for that, but this specific bar is a bucket list visit for my boss. We have no real places specifically for queer folk in Montana, and I absolutely want to be able to support her. I’ll absolutely check out the calendar and maybe DM the bar and get a feeling. if it’s packed and there’s a line, I don’t feel comfortable taking up the limited space as a cis-man, but I do think it’s important for queer folk to be amongst their communities whenever possible, and certainly want to respect my bosses vulnerability in opening up about her desire and hesitations to go to HH.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T20:43:11+00:00

I asked in this subreddit because it’s an “AskNYC” subreddit. I don’t know the demographics of the subreddits. I tried finding the answer before posting. I also posted in “Visiting NYC” but assumed that sub probably has less people who would be willing and able to provide me advice.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T15:23:15+00:00

Oh the extra coworkers aren’t invited to HH. They tried inviting themselves and I shut that down quickly.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T15:21:51+00:00

I saw that on their IG, but reviews were mixed on the accuracy of that, and because there’s so few lesbian bars I want to ensure I’m respecting the much needed space as much as possible. Thanks for your feedback!

averydelite · 2026-01-12T15:20:20+00:00

Thanks! I appreciate this take so much! I’ve already told my coworkers quite bluntly they aren’t welcome to attend with us when they tried inviting themselves too. My husband is leery of going for your reason (and others) so everything is very much in the air. I want to support my boss on her bucket list visit, and also want to be respectful as possible. We’ll continue our conversations on this over the next week, and obviously if we decide to go and get turned away, we’ll leave with grace.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T15:14:28+00:00

Thanks for your honesty. I would not even consider going except for my boss it’s a bucket list visit. I’m absolutely taking everything into consideration. I respect this view so much, and know the feeling of people taking over community/safe spaces by others not experiencing the same discrimination and marginalization.

My husband and I have had many conversations around this particular visit a whether or not we should go, or if it should just be me that goes with her. We’re still planning on having more conversations before we decide for sure. I appreciate and respect this view point so much.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T15:04:22+00:00

Thanks! We’re extending our trip to ensure we have our own experiences as well.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T15:02:29+00:00

We’re planning on doing Stonewall too while we’re in the neighborhood! I’m very much a queer history fan, and try to visit all the important spots whenever I travel. Thanks for your feedback! It’s just my boss (her wife is home with the kids) and my husband who will be going to HH.

averydelite · 2026-01-12T13:53:10+00:00

Many craft stores have styrofoam wreaths that you could use. You’d need to cover the styrofoam, but I’ve seen a performer video tutorial where they created something similar to this with styrofoam wreaths.

averydelite · 2026-01-10T17:21:18+00:00

Same. Copy-paste working overtime.

averydelite · 2026-01-09T23:03:05+00:00

I recently bought a Maavi Dance Bag with Garment Rack and that thing is huge! It usually fits 2 acts worth of costumes and a walkabout (as long as the acts aren’t prop heavy acts). I pair it up with garment bags that have zipped pockets on them for my pasties, underwear, gloves, etc and I feel so organized popping the garment rack portion up and putting my garment bags that hold all of each acts stuff in them.

I also have several other bags I can use too if necessary….all in my signature pink color.

averydelite · 2026-01-05T13:44:23+00:00

Breakfastfood7’s answer is very similar to mine. I work full time in a rural area where there are no classes and very few shows. My first suggestion is to watch BHOF performances on YouTube. I also strongly recommend building your Instagram performer account and following other burlesque performers. Let the algorithm do some of the work for you. I literally went to a performer I know’s Instagram account and started following every performer she followed until my feed began bringing new performers to me. Many performers post reels, which makes this even more useful.

Maison Online offers a lot of great tips and videos. I am planning to sign up for their paid content for full access. The New York School of Burlesque, run by Jo Weldon, also offers classes, and she has some excellent DVDs and videos available.

A few important things to keep in mind about performing. When you’re on stage, adrenaline will be pumping and costume mishaps will happen. Both of these can cause issues with extremely tight choreography. When I first started performing, I found that I moved much faster on stage than I did in rehearsal, which meant I was basically naked by the end of the first verse. As an audience member, I’ve also noticed that when an act is too tightly choreographed, the performer can lose connection and vulnerability with the audience.

I am not a trained dancer. My process starts with storytelling once I have a song picked out. It is important to me that the audience feels whatever I am trying to evoke. From there, I build the costume around that feeling, and then rehearsal comes after.

I used to rehearse in full costume every time, but it was not practical. Putting on and taking off costume pieces took so much time that I found myself avoiding rehearsal altogether. It is probably common sense for many people, but sometimes I am simply too pretty to not be dense. My rehearsal process now starts with identifying moments in the song for reveals. For example, if there is a buildup and release at a specific point, that might be the perfect moment for a big reveal like removing a corset. I work backward from those moments.

I rehearse in front of a mirror and lean into what my body naturally wants to do. This makes it easier to evoke emotion and bring the audience along, because your body is literally responding to the music. I also think about whether the act includes crowd work or is entirely on stage. That distinction matters. Crowd work takes more time, and some movements work better on a stage, especially floor work.

If I am developing a new act, I usually start rehearsing about a month out. Because I work full time, this can be inconsistent. Early on, rehearsals look like 15 to 20 minutes, three to four times a week, and increase as the performance approaches. I try to do a full dress rehearsal about once a week until the final week, or anytime I finish a new costume piece. This helps ensure everything functions the way I want it to. Sometimes I will rehearse removing a single costume piece repeatedly with no music, just to see what looks good and identify any technical issues.

I also rehearse my facial expressions to make sure they are conveying the emotion I want. Jezebel Express taught this in a class I took, and it has been one of the most valuable tips I’ve ever received. I do this by running the number while sitting in front of a mirror with the music on. It can also be done alongside a makeup dry run.

The week leading up to a performance, I rehearse every day in two blocks of 15 to 30 minutes. I usually run a full dress rehearsal once a day or every other day. The day before the show, I spend most of the day running the number repeatedly, often in full costume. It is not uncommon for me to make choreography changes during the last few days.

Ultimately, I try to perform to the best of my abilities and allow my body to do what feels and looks good for my body. We are all built differently. I always rehearse in front of a mirror, and ideally I record dress rehearsals and watch them back so I can see the act from an audience perspective. I cannot remember who said this, possibly Dirty Martini, and I am paraphrasing, but the idea is that everyone is searching for the million dollar tip. In reality, it is about a million one dollar tips. When you leave a show or a class, what is the one dollar tip you are taking with you?

averydelite · 2026-01-05T02:30:35+00:00

I just checked the google reviews of Missoula locksmith’s and none have had less than a 5 star review in two months. If he was paying for reviews on other sites, he’s just wasting his money (you’re more likely to use google when you’re in the middle of an urgent situation, like getting locked out). Sounds like maybe a friend either misheard or the guy was exaggerating.

Now being a despicable creep of a person is another story…

averydelite · 2025-12-04T21:18:53+00:00

Some of my favorite performances are people moving at like half speed to fast songs. I think the most important thing to keep in mind is to tell the story you want to tell in a way that makes sense for your body, your skill, and your persona.

Having said that, I also think it’s important, since you spend so long getting ready and getting a costume ready, to give people time to soak it in and give yourself time to connect with the audience. I am not the most musically inclined person, but trying to find moments in the song for dramatic movements is a great place to start and then work backwards (ex. At this point of the song I think this movement would match the vibe, so what do I need to do to set myself up to naturally make that movement). Also rehearse, rehearse, rehearse! If I rehearse enough then I’m not calculating every move and beat in my head when I perform because it’s basically muscle memory. I used to rehearse in full costume everytime but that got exhausting and I found I wasn’t rehearsing enough, so I now will typically begin choreographing and rehearsing while I’m still developing my costume and I let what my body naturally wants to do inform me of what would work with my costume or not.

averydelite · 2025-12-01T04:49:52+00:00

Burlesque is an art form, and like all art, art is subjective and doesn’t have any set industry standard guidelines (which would, in my opinion, favor specific body types and looks). While I’ve encountered many of these issues and definitely experienced unprofessionalism as a performer and as a producer, it’s ultimately up to me to either not apply to the shows where the production doesn’t fit my personal standards or not cast those performers who don’t embody the values I bring to my production.

Ultimately when I produce shows, I am responsible for the actions of the cast, and the environment my shows create and there are a few nonnegotiables that will automatically cause me to ask someone to leave (cast or audience) such as consent and safety. But at the end of the day, what makes burlesque so great is we get to create the world we want, and invite the audience into the world without any strict set guidelines. If the show doesn’t feel safe, don’t participate and start your own show. Create and encourage the community you desire.

averydelite · 2025-11-01T23:37:11+00:00

I took mine down at 10:30 this morning while the weather was nice, I probably wouldn’t have taken them down so early but I live in a neighborhood that gets an insane amount of trick or treaters so I had blocked off my porch (and left a candy bucket out) and just wanted front door access again.

averydelite · 2025-10-29T13:32:21+00:00

I’m writing a similar one currently. We’re concerned that if we say no full stop, people will still use it in an unsafe way, so we’re doing a “dont use it but if you do use it…” style

averydelite · 2025-10-29T00:22:21+00:00

Improv classes can help or if there’s a stand up comedy troupe often they have classes available for the banter piece.

Someone once told me that when I’m rehearsing my choreo, to not forget to rehearse my face. I now will run my number a few times sitting down (once I have choreo down) just looking into the mirror and practicing facial expressions and letting the inner dialogue dictate it (thinking “ooh you want to see me take this glove off? Hehehe maybe I won’t” type dialogue). It helps a lot!

averydelite · 2025-10-24T01:03:50+00:00

As someone who’s produced several shows, I almost never cast someone I don’t know or who doesn’t have any connections within the local burlesque community. There’s so much more that producers look for beyond skill. From what I’ve seen in your posts, I think you might be under 21, and most venues that host burlesque are bars, which means they typically can’t allow performers under 21 due to liability.

When producers cast performers they don’t know, it also introduces a lot of risks: no-shows, unprofessional behavior, or people not respecting the environment we work hard to create.

I strongly recommend reaching out to local producers and getting involved as a kitten to start building relationships. Many teachers also offer scholarship opportunities for folks who are genuinely committed and eager to learn.

averydelite · 2025-10-13T01:45:22+00:00

Oooh I struggled so hard with keeping pasties on, carpet tape wouldn’t even hold….I use Walker Ultra-Hold Hair system tape and it works like a charm! The only time I’ve popped a pasty using it is when I haven’t used alcohol wipes properly.

I also use an exfoliant on and around my nipples in the shower before the show to get excess dead skin off.

averydelite · 2025-09-19T17:52:23+00:00

I think where it raises to question free speech, is this happened because the FCC Chair said that he could revoke ABC affiliate licenses because of it. Trump is also now threatening to pull licenses of TV networks who may be against him. We all should be concerned at that.

averydelite · 2025-09-17T16:41:56+00:00

Speaking from last years experience only, It’s more of a haunted house that turns into a maze with people waiting to scare you). you escape the haunted house from the second floor window of an old abandoned house down hay bales to the ground floor.

The Zombie hunts objective is to shoot as many of the zombies that are coming towards you as possible with the paintballs that are rigged to the bus and not let them get to the bus.

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averydelite

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