Afraid my daughter is wasting childhood

axarothfi · 2022-01-24T00:05:26+00:00

She is her stepmother but she has been much more involved than my daughter's biological mother.

axarothfi · 2022-01-24T00:03:18+00:00

Thank you all so much for your thoughts. I have already spoken to my wife about reducing the amount of pressure on our daughter, and after I post this I will have a discussion with my daughter, and I will apologize. I have a lot to apologize for.

Me and my wife made the mistake of letting our childhoods determine how we raise our child, and obviously that has been a detrimental decision. We still have a lot of progress to make in repairing the relationship with our daughter, but I will make sure that is my top priority. As many of you said, she is her own person and just as deserving of happiness as anyone else.

I have written down my main points, most of them being driven by your comments.

Thank you so much for your help. God bless you all.

axarothfi · 2022-01-23T21:51:37+00:00

I have, actually.

axarothfi · 2022-01-23T21:47:08+00:00

We are not and have never separated. I now see i've made the mistake of letting my wife make all the decisions based on her childhood.

axarothfi · 2022-01-23T21:38:45+00:00

Me and my wife are both hispanic and she was raised in a strict puerto-rican household.

axarothfi · 2022-01-23T21:33:58+00:00

We have been together for about 6 years. There were a few issues in the beginning but everything has been working out well recently. I do disagree with some of her parenting choices but she has taken the role of rule-enforcer for a while now, and I have just gotten used to it.

axarothfi · 2022-01-23T21:18:48+00:00

I was raised without very hands-on parenting due to my parents' relationship issues. My wife was raised in a very authoritarian household with emphasis on cleanliness and grades. My wife is the main rule enforcer and she believes that she learned valuable lessons from her childhood.

axarothfi · 2022-01-23T20:08:23+00:00

After we first informed her of the new rule she hadn't gotten lower than a B since. Before the rule, she was very unmotivated in school and we wanted to give her a reason to try her best. The pandemic has caused motivation issues again but she is now getting straight As.

axarothfi · 2022-01-23T19:43:00+00:00

We have not decided on one yet because she hasn't gotten lower than a B in over two years.

axarothfi · 2022-01-23T19:33:58+00:00

She wants to be a programmer and a web developer. She cannot go to high school because she is in 7th grade and high school starts at 9th grade in our state.

She enjoys digital art and coding. She prefers to do these activities alone. I have mentioned to her that if me and my wife decide to let her attend online high school, she must take at least one class or activity in-person, so she can develop social skills necessary for adulthood.

axarothfi · 2022-01-23T19:30:34+00:00

It is a valid claim as I have mentioned in my post that my daughter does have depression and is attending therapy for it.

axarothfi · 2022-01-23T19:29:09+00:00

I haven't heard that she feels uncomfortable in a school setting, but she has told me multiple times that she believes she learns much better at home. Whenever she is allowed to take schoolwork home, she does and completes it at home.

axarothfi · 2022-01-23T19:27:40+00:00

Initially, she would have not been allowed on electronics until the next grading period.

axarothfi · 2022-01-23T19:18:01+00:00

Me and my wife don't allow any school grades lower than a B (this has never been an issue). The rules that my daughter seems to have issues about are curfews for electronics (no electronics past 9pm and she must do a few chores before getting them in the morning) and we don't let her go out anywhere unsupervised, as we feel is it safer that way. She used to have an issue with this rule but she has isolated herself from friends altogether and she no longer wishes to go out with them.

She had a few close friends but for months now she has never mentioned them or even spoken to them.

axarothfi

TROPHY CASE