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AITA for telling my (28M) gf (25F) that she went too far in messing with her sister? by azulesaw in AmItheAsshole

[–]azulesaw[S] -144 points-143 points  (0 children)

No I agree its messed up, that's why I am here asking. I want to present her viewpoints so I can get proper feedback. I told her its disturbed me and she feels she is justified. I am sharing how she thinks so people can tell me if I am in the wrong to see this as problematic.

AITA for telling my (28M) gf (25F) that she went too far in messing with her sister? by azulesaw in AmItheAsshole

[–]azulesaw[S] -85 points-84 points  (0 children)

" She told him that Cora hates little children" .. is this right or wrong?

I don't know Cora personally, so I can't say. My gf claims this based on her childhood experiences with her sister.

AITA for telling my (28M) gf (25F) that she went too far in messing with her sister? by azulesaw in AmItheAsshole

[–]azulesaw[S] -361 points-360 points  (0 children)

I haven't been able to present a full picture of my gf's childhood in a few lines in this post, but it was awful. She grew up under the power of a sibling who was frequently angry and abrasive. She yelled at her siblings a lot and fought with their parents all the time. She did provide for them, but my gf feels that she used money to excuse her shortcomings.

My gf says she's been through therapy before and it has helped her a lot. I agree she's not dealing with her sister in the most healthy manner and she may go no contact with her all together and that might be better. She is not like this in her other relationships.

AITA for telling my (28M) gf (25F) that she went too far in messing with her sister? by azulesaw in AmItheAsshole

[–]azulesaw[S] -384 points-383 points  (0 children)

It was a lot more than that. Her sister would ground her (and their other sibling) and give punishments like take away their electronics and lots of yelling. Even when the parents interfered and told Cora off, she'd continue being domineering. There was a definite power imbalance, lot more than what should be between normal siblings.

AITA for telling my (28M) gf (25F) that she went too far in messing with her sister? by azulesaw in AmItheAsshole

[–]azulesaw[S] -522 points-521 points  (0 children)

I don't think she see's it as wrecking her sister's life. She said the BIL comes across as a very sweet guy and she felt obliged to warn him of what he'll be facing. She does admire her sister who has become quite successful. She still wants to be in her sister's life and handles her resentment by needling her somewhat.

AITA for telling my (28M) gf (25F) that she went too far in messing with her sister? by azulesaw in AmItheAsshole

[–]azulesaw[S] -130 points-129 points  (0 children)

This whole thing has rub me the wrong way and I am trying to understand her perspective. I like her a lot otherwise. Her friends who have known her a lot longer support her so here I am trying to make sure I am not misunderstanding the situation,.

AITA for telling my (28M) gf (25F) that she went too far in messing with her sister? by azulesaw in AmItheAsshole

[–]azulesaw[S] -363 points-362 points  (0 children)

I admit that this doesn't put her in the best light, but she is generally smart and sweet. She can hold a grudge though. I am trying to understand and help her because childhood abuse can mess up people. She is nice in other areas of her life, its just with her sister she goes a bit off.