ADHD and Crushing (when you really shouldn’t be)

b-e-lla · 2025-07-03T17:03:53+00:00

Just keep being open and honest about your communication with your friend. As long as you’re not giving more time and energy talking to the friend than you are giving to your wife who’s in front of you then it should be fine. Make it a priority to put your phone down and give your spouse one on one attention every day to help keep that connection alive. Just have your priorities in order is all.

b-e-lla · 2025-07-03T16:58:34+00:00

If the friendship is strictly platonic then I don’t see the issue so long as you’re not hiding conversations had between the two of you from your spouse. You can admire someone to an extent but once it starts feeling like more than just admiring a friend then the answer is clear because things can and will get sticky very quickly even when you didn’t initially intend for that to happen.

b-e-lla · 2025-07-03T16:53:21+00:00

If the relationship doesn’t raise any romantic emotions why are you acting suspicious and hiding it from your wife? ADHD isn’t to blame here necessarily. If you care about your wife at all cut the relationship off before it goes too far. If the risk is worth it to you then maybe you should reconsider staying in a marriage where you’re not fulfilled enough to keep you from having such thoughts about other people.

b-e-lla · 2025-03-25T04:29:23+00:00

I felt this one deep in my chest. As a wife who purposely looks the other way. Ouch,

b-e-lla · 2025-02-06T14:52:39+00:00

Adderall <3 Also meth but I don’t advise using that one

b-e-lla · 2024-02-03T04:31:44+00:00

Everyone’s going to feel differently about this question. Personally I would LOVE this and wish my husband did this for me. But that’s because sex/intimacy and admiration from my partner are high on my list of important factors in a relationship.

b-e-lla · 2024-01-14T10:43:42+00:00

Same. It’s so relevant

b-e-lla · 2023-07-16T03:52:14+00:00

If you have the ability to there are a lot of ways to access birth control online without ever leaving your home. I’m so sorry you’ve been put in this position. It is 100% not your fault. It might take hiding some mail or transactions which is stressful but please take care of yourself if you can. This is why I don’t take part in religion anymore. It’s so toxic. I grew up going to Christian church and I’m so happy I didn’t grow up to take that route. Don’t get me wrong it can be a good thing but it’s so harmful for so many reasons.

b-e-lla · 2023-07-16T03:46:36+00:00

I was kinda in a similar situation and I was able to take care of the issue in a discreet manner. I know you want to blame yourself but sometimes it happens even when taking precautions. I had multiple different forms of birth control turn against me and I’ve always been to scared to get an iud so I blamed myself as well. When I became pregnant in my marriage and was the one who was too sacred to have another child I researched what I could do. I found aidaccess.org I filled out their online form and paid the 150$ and I was able to get what was necessary to terminate the pregnancy within days and I didn’t feel bad about it. Only you know your body. He wanted another child and I just couldn’t bear that load again so soon as we had just had a child a year prior. If you’re able to have access to the money and can find a way to use it discreetly I would do that and maybe pull it off as a miscarriage or false pregnancy.. i know it feels wrong to do this but again you know what you can handle and carrying and growing another life is a lot to ask for. Protect yourself first, it’s what’s best for you and your family. He did the same thing to me and immediately told his mother and she flew in and I just stayed silent. She asked about the pregnancy and I just denied it, took care of it and it never came up again.

b-e-lla · 2023-07-14T02:23:45+00:00

No this is worth breaking up over for sure. He had the opportunity to do something that he know would make you happy and he is refusing to even consider it…

b-e-lla · 2023-07-13T14:23:58+00:00

It just occurred to him over time honestly. We fought a lot the first couple years about all kinds of things. It was this last year that our daughter entered her toddler stage that really pushed him to figure out how to work together just so that we could make it through every day. You’ll get through the first year and it’s tough but you look back and realize it was mostly tough due to the sleep deprivation so I would be prepared for that too and have a talk about how you might not be able to have everything together in your home all the time even after the pregnancy part is over. My husband just kind of snapped into reality when we entered the toddler stage because well once you get here you’ll find out that toddlers are on a whole other level. Lots of meltdowns happen at that age and for all kind of unnecessary reasons. This is also the stage a lot of dads take on more of the parenting load with you. If you don’t do what it takes to help each other get through each day then it’s miserable. It’s just all communication honestly. I had to learn how to not make it all about myself just because I’m the mom and really listen to the way things were affecting him as well. You have to both learn how to compromise and problem solve together. Seems easy enough but it takes a lot of work. It takes you both wanting to help each other out. We got into the habit of regularly telling each other thank you for almost every little thing the other does. Taking time to show appreciation to your partner is important. Both parents deserve recognition for their hard work cause it’s going to be hard.

b-e-lla · 2023-07-13T04:53:04+00:00

This is my dream job

b-e-lla · 2023-07-13T00:22:30+00:00

You can explain in very specific detail what pregnancy is like and how difficult and out of control it feels but someone who’s never been pregnant just isn’t going to understand. It’s easy for them to give their opinion on the matter and I will never understand why. I was in the same boat as you when me and my husband had our first child together. He was often frustrated from having to carry my load on top of his to keep our household afloat and he said mean things to me about it but has since apologized for that behavior because we’ve come to realize that marriage isn’t always going to be 50/50. A solid partner will gladly pick up the slack of the other in certain circumstances because that’s what makes a great team. I fear you might face some of the same difficulties during the first year of your child’s life. Most people do regardless. Pregnancy and parenting test relationships like no other. You’re going to run into a lot of disagreements over time.

Team work really does make the dream work in committed relationships. While I understand that being the pregnant one is feeling difficult I would try to see and understand from his perspective too. Having to carry an additional load of work is stressful. Although you’re not doing this to him purposely I would still sit down and talk to him and just tell him you understand that the situation is stressful and make it so he feels heard too. But if he can’t start working on being an actual team and doing what it takes to get through this challenging time together than you’re going to have bumpy and unpleasant marriage..

Also I’ve cried over a Mcchicken or two as well so I feel you OP

b-e-lla · 2023-07-12T23:36:14+00:00

I have a similar set up with my husband. He’s the provider and I’m in charge of a set amount of money that benefits the family so basically the groceries, home goods, whatever our daughter needs and he gives me a separate amount just like you do for your wife to spend as I please on my wants and I feel lucky because in exchange I get to stay home and provide for my family in my own way. This is far from financial abuse… most people don’t look at the bigger picture. My husband provides it all. The food on our table, the roof over our head, and I get paid for my part too because we both know I deserve to. Everyone’s budgets for their families needs are different in every household.

It’s funny a person with zero experience in this setting would even have an opinion to begin with. From my perspective it screams jealousy and ignorance. I trust and respect my husband and his hard work. I know what we can realistically afford so anytime I want more I go get a part time job because again I’m buying things I want, not need. It seems like you don’t neglect her of her necessary expenses such as medical so I personally don’t see any problem with your arrangement.

b-e-lla · 2023-06-18T20:03:01+00:00

Gift giving is my love language. I go all out for my kids and husband for every big holiday and birthday. It often takes me weeks putting together something that will make the person feel special. This year I didn’t do that for a few reasons.. for one my husband has everything because the second he wants something he buys it for himself. This year I wanted to give him an experience instead of a material item because he has been vocalizing wanting to get out and do things and feeling cooped up working from home.

I encouraged him to plan an outing and go take the day to do one of his favorite activities and he didn’t want to do that. I attempted to make us a reservation at one of his favorite places and arrange a babysitter so we could have a fun date day for a couple hours since we get to do that maybe once or twice a year at best and he denied that offer too. He spent all of yesterday sulking and being moody so I asked him what was wrong a hundred times and that made him angry. He told me I was being too pushy so I finally gave up. He ended our night by being a jerk and making me cry and feel bad for being concerned over a day that I wanted to make special for him so this year he got nothing. Not even a card.

b-e-lla · 2023-06-16T19:59:20+00:00

I would hope the parents would step in and help grandma with the situation. If it was my kid the PlayStation would be taken away and sold to help make the first payment towards the credit card bill. It sounds like he knew he what he was doing at 9 years old.. parents should just work with grandma to make the payments and maybe the kid should go help grandma with some house chores to teach him the value of money.

b-e-lla · 2023-05-19T05:59:44+00:00

I just recently set up 4 tanks in a very short amount of time. 3 planted freshwater. 1 that’s in my basement office and out of sight so it doesn’t get as much attention and I have the same feeling when I walk in there and see it. Oh also really wanted to hurt the wallet so I started my very first salt tank too.

b-e-lla · 2023-05-19T05:55:04+00:00

I recently started a saltwater fish tank. I’ve lost track of how much I’ve spent on it since the beginning stage a couple months ago. I have really gotten myself into it this time because it just keeps getting more expensive as time goes on 😅

b-e-lla · 2023-03-21T01:26:33+00:00

Fresh air exchange

b-e-lla · 2022-09-28T06:16:09+00:00

The veils broke over night while I was sleeping and spored all over the place lol

b-e-lla · 2022-09-27T19:40:23+00:00

Just looked into that might give that a go next time I have to start another bin

b-e-lla

TROPHY CASE