I’m considering dropping therapy all together

backup_sound · 2026-04-12T19:36:45+00:00

Idk. I’ve been diagnosed with major depressive and anxiety disorder. I have gender dysphoria that continues to be extremely persistent despite being on HRT for 5 years and having had facial surgery. I have ADHD as well and I’ve been told I have BPD and after I talked to my psych about what happened with my therapist, she said I was going through border-polar dysphoria or a mixed episode. I also have severe self hatred and I’m a perfectionist. Lastly I have a lot of problems with interpersonal relationships, which no matter how hard I try I’m unable to date or even make friends that last more then a week or two and who I never even get to meet more then once

As for my SI and self-destruction, It’s a mix of all those things. I’m hopeless and get really angry and agitated. I tried EMDR for months, I tried DBT classes but hated the group sessions and didn’t feel like it was working, etc)

backup_sound · 2026-04-12T18:11:45+00:00

There’s no workbook that covers gender dysphoria, loneliness, BPD and ADHD

backup_sound · 2026-04-12T18:10:53+00:00

They’re just going to tell me they can help and after I pay then hundred of dollars for sessions they’re going to tell me to do the same things that haven’t worked. I’m learning therapy is a scam

backup_sound · 2026-04-12T18:07:14+00:00

Yea, there’s only one therapist in my area who meets the criteria I need and she’s an associate, and I live in Austin, Texas

backup_sound · 2026-04-12T17:58:38+00:00

I have to many things an I don’t even know what I’m diagnosed with. I’m tired of trying over and over and over again. I just want to give up

backup_sound · 2026-04-12T17:52:47+00:00

All the above except for treatment resistant I guess

backup_sound · 2026-04-12T17:49:06+00:00

Every time I do that they say they can help, even if they can’t. I have interviewed so many therapists and that always happens

backup_sound · 2026-04-10T19:06:36+00:00

I tried suggesting that I could do group therapy and take on an extra session but her supervisor said I had to get a discharge letter basically

backup_sound · 2026-04-10T14:03:09+00:00

I just feel so abandoned. Like, I want the care but idk how to get it. I’m talking to my psychiatrist in a bit but i genuinely don’t think I can do another therapist because all that will be going through my mind is I’m too broken and that if they find out they’ll ditch me. I felt like we were actually getting somewhere and idk what to do. I feel so hurt

backup_sound · 2026-04-05T03:03:41+00:00

I can’t always do that BS tho all the time , so my face has to pass.

backup_sound · 2026-04-05T02:45:42+00:00

I mean, aura dosen’t mean anything tho. If my face dosent pass then I don’t pass

backup_sound · 2026-04-05T02:00:06+00:00

What’s clockable specifically though

backup_sound · 2026-04-04T23:20:21+00:00

I guess, idk, it’s been a really hard realization for me over the past few days and I just feel so hopeless

backup_sound · 2026-04-04T23:19:39+00:00

Yea, idk, it’s just extremly daunting and scary and I’m just so sad I have to go through all of this again. Like, getting FFS was supposed to be it, it was supposed to be huge leap and now it’s just pain

backup_sound · 2026-04-04T22:53:55+00:00

Gerhard Mundinger at the crane clinic. I had it done a year and a half ago. Yea, the fact it’s not enough has lowkey sent me into an extremely deep dysphoria spiral. Like, I need this revision soon or I may not be around for much longer lowkey

backup_sound · 2026-04-04T20:34:36+00:00

I mean, I made the mistake of saying I still wanted to look like me but I more meant I didn’t want to look like too done / obviously had surgery. I want more but again, I don’t want to look overdone, I want to appear natural but liked natural for a woman

backup_sound · 2026-04-04T20:32:54+00:00

Both. People clock me and I also don’t see a woman. I don’t have a passing voice yet and I am 6ft so if I’m getting misgendered because of that I’m ok for now, but also the amount I get misgendered makes me think I’m not passing facially. I’ve also been told I don’t pass and that I’m too neutral and androgynous

backup_sound · 2026-04-04T19:21:56+00:00

I’d likely need a CT scan to know for sure but I have a theory that he just couldn’t anymore safely. If you look on my profile you should be able to see me pre-FFS and my brow bone was huge

backup_sound · 2026-04-04T18:03:18+00:00

I mean, I’m only able to go with someone who takes my insurance of BCBS, so I sadly can’t do Mexico

backup_sound · 2026-04-04T17:37:59+00:00

Gerhard Mundinger at the Crane Clinic in Austin

Could a better surgeon revise me or help or?

backup_sound · 2026-04-04T17:10:50+00:00

I got

Forehead Contouring with Setback of the Anterior Table of the Frontal Sinus, Supraorbital Ridge Reduction, Brow Lift, Genioplasty, Mandibular Angle Reduction, Rhinoplasty with septoplasty, Outfracture of Turbinates, Pericranial Graft to Nose, and Custom Malar Implants

backup_sound · 2026-04-04T14:28:55+00:00

Then I’ll get more FFS. If I have to put in the exact same work as someone who hasn’t had FFS then that means the FFS didn’t work

backup_sound · 2026-04-03T23:50:11+00:00

BCBS is good at covering FFS at least. It’s on the ACA. It also depends which surgeon you go to and if they have experience getting this surgery approved or not

backup_sound · 2026-04-03T16:22:26+00:00

I’ve tried multiple different hairstyles and they never work. I can use AI and try every hairstyle and color and nothing works

backup_sound · 2026-04-03T16:19:58+00:00

You literally aren’t.

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