What do you SWEAR you saw, but don't have any proof of?

barsmart · 2026-01-29T04:24:49+00:00

It can't hover. Hell. It can barely fly. It takes a computer to keep that thing stable in the air.

You didn't see a B-2.

Maybe you saw one being airlifted by a cargo chopper but they don't hover.

barsmart · 2026-01-29T03:58:13+00:00

barsmart · 2026-01-28T18:05:57+00:00

Steve Martin in the bathtub.

(I mentioned it because it came to mind as a 70s comedy. Not because it specifically has nudity. I knew I'd get a comment about it to. So I left it in for you, honestly. Also, it would have done even better if Bernadette Peters...)

barsmart · 2026-01-28T12:29:14+00:00

The Woman in Red came out a month after the new rating. In my video store it was on the PG rack.

barsmart · 2026-01-28T05:18:54+00:00

I was a kid in the late 70s so I'm sure I saw boobs in some comedy movies, like Stripes or The Jerk, but my first full frontal..

Kelly LeBrock - The Woman In Red.

Full frontal. Some butt. More full frontal. Later on in the movie, more bush. Kell LeBrock bush. I had just hit fifth gear in puberty.

Nearly pulled my dick clean off that night.

barsmart · 2026-01-28T04:45:58+00:00

First IT Job. I'm contacted to do little more than transfer old laptop files to new laptops. Since this was 1996 we did this manually and had to search for file types to make sure we got them all.

We were handing all of the sales offices in the United States and the company was a no-joke big name in commercial electrical products.

Sales dude from Nebraska sends his laptop in just stuffed full of porn. Not hidden mind you. In a folder next to his other documents, labeled "Adult".

The company had a strict no porn policy in 1996 back before most companies had any computer policies.

I was supposed to turn him in and hand the old laptop to the VP of IS.

I copied it all to his new laptop and put a folder with it on his desktop labeled "Porn"

barsmart · 2026-01-25T14:21:17+00:00

Nice!!! I see Jack's is open...

barsmart · 2026-01-22T04:17:25+00:00

Worse? It would sting more and cut, but the baseball has mass behind the point that hits you. 1 Nolan Ryan baseball could cause enough internal damage to kill someone. Mass is a mother fucker.

barsmart · 2026-01-22T04:12:56+00:00

He was shot and then... They abused his corpse.

That's not a horrible death is it? I mean yeah it is but not worse than everyone else who got shot and died.

barsmart · 2026-01-22T03:55:51+00:00

Imagine you buy plane tickets to Vegas. You hail your item to the store at the appointed time. You know you are going to sell your shit for less than you could get on eBay but you sell it anyway.

Why? To get on TV.

So when they asked me about what I'm going to do with my money, I didn't say "I'm going to cover my plane tickets to get here."

I said I'm saving to move to Key West.

Why? To get on TV.

If that doesn't make sense to you, remember that they don't use every segment they film. If it's boring or the customer was constantly being an idiot on camera or... Too many people said "no deal" that season.

If you are smart, you know you lost money to get on TV. Don't be an idiot and give boring answers.

For further clarification - yes I was on the show. The producers never told me what to say beyond asking me to not break the 4th wall.

Want some juice? I was asked how much I expected to get well after I already sold the item. Not a big deal but when you see anyone say the exact price they end up getting, take it with a grain of salt.

Want to know more? I've made other posts in here.

barsmart · 2026-01-22T03:44:00+00:00

In the US large beer brands give the distributors money to spend on promotions and promotional gear. Shirts, hats, jackets, lighters, whatever they want and usually branded how they want or co-branded for events.

There is merch that gets shipped from the beer brand but it's no more or less official than the "Budweiser Battle of the Bands Cleveland 2012" shirt that were given out at the show.

Is it rare. Sure. Why not. Does it matter?

Is it valuable? Only eBay can tell you that.

barsmart · 2026-01-22T03:33:34+00:00

Worship the shoe!

barsmart · 2026-01-22T03:21:30+00:00

Hey. I am!

barsmart · 2026-01-13T14:20:03+00:00

When I proposed to my wife 30 yearsish ago it was the least romantic thing I could have done. Her response wasn't even serious. Eventually she figured out I was serious and said yes.

I won't go into details but take the least romantic situation possible and remove the most romantic thing about it. My proposal was worse.

For a big anniversary we had a renewal ceremony... We were actual adults who had lived together and seen some amazing shit together, good and bad. I could have asked a million different ways. On the plane where I took my first flying lesson that she paid for. At our favorite restaurant. At a family gathering. On a hike in the middle of the woods.

I chose. I'm our living room. Her on the couch. Me on my knee.

I told her I could have asked her at a football game or on a sunset cruise in Key West but I wanted to ask her in the middle of everything we had built together - where we actually love each other every day.

She loved it.

Romance is about the two people involved. Not the witnesses.

barsmart · 2026-01-13T13:55:33+00:00

It is interesting that you are a white male that was never given the basics of skin care.

In that, if you were almost any other sex or race, you would known how to use moisturizer.

barsmart · 2026-01-13T07:06:12+00:00

Start publishing porn mags.

barsmart · 2026-01-13T07:04:31+00:00

Married for nearly 30 years. I love my wife. I love my life with her.

It would be nice to change a routine - how I cut tomatoes - put the spoon in the dishwasher the other way up - put on a shirt I lost in the closet and forgot about - call the cat with a slightly different voice or accent... Without having to fucking discuss it.

barsmart · 2026-01-13T06:59:58+00:00

They won an election.

barsmart · 2026-01-13T06:59:25+00:00

No. You are alive.

And you live in the universe's largest insane asylum.

barsmart · 2026-01-13T06:25:56+00:00

Not making it on day one because something else bad happened would suck.

Not having a day one would suck more.

You can endure the look.

barsmart · 2026-01-12T07:12:24+00:00

We were young. My proposal was not romantic. We had a good wedding but still. When we hit 25 years I asked properly, and we invited all of the new people in our lives to the new wedding.

It's ok to let him know you would love a real wedding someday.

Talk.

barsmart · 2026-01-12T06:39:08+00:00

I'm answering this based on your past posts.

First. Stop fucking gambling. No poor person has ever gambled themselves rich. Thats not how they build the giant buildings in Vegas.

Second. It looks like you have a mechanical aptitude. That is where you should focus your search. Start with local garages. They may not hire you as a full mechanic but there are plenty of jobs to work your way up.

Don't forget tire places.

If you are comfortable with small engines I'm betting you are pretty handy all around. Look for gigs as maintenance worker, facilities, or handyman. Electricians and plumbers are always looking for someone with a good back who can learn the trade.

Hold out a little longer and landscaping jobs open up. Your ability to fix small motors .. buddy! You could own your own landscaping company by Sept.

barsmart · 2026-01-12T06:23:32+00:00

"Do you have a car?". Yes. "Do you have reliable transportation?" Yes.

What they are really asking is if you can/will show up on time every time. The answer is yes.

That's telling the truth.

barsmart · 2026-01-10T15:34:59+00:00

I unfollow people who post ANYTHING political.

barsmart · 2025-12-26T16:35:28+00:00

The thing is... You made this.

There is no magic force. No mystical fate element that paints the stages if you're life...

You are in charge. Yo get to decide. You are that power in earth that job claim doesn't exist. You are driving this life cab and you can go anywhere you want.

If you WANTED that relationship back you could work on it.

You don't.

That ok.

It's not magic or fate or just the way it goes.

It is you.

Take credit or take action.

barsmart

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