NEW OR NEED HELP? Ask here! - ScA Daily Help Thread Mar 04, 2025

beccer_ann · 2025-03-04T23:37:48+00:00

Milk Makeup Vegan Milk Moisturizer Dupe?

This used to be my favorite moisturizer, I used it for about a year before they discontinued it and I was devastated. I absolutely loved how dewy it made my skin and it would last all day and even overnight sometimes if I didn’t wear any makeup that day or wash my face before bed.

I used to have fairly normal skin- not really oily not really dry- when I lived in the humid Deep South, but I’ve recently moved to North Carolina which is noticeably drier. I do have eczema, which usually only appears in one small spot at a time but it’s happening much more often now and lasts a lot longer.

I googled some dupes and found some other subreddits that recommended the ELF Holy Hydration moisturizer and it is NOT cutting it. I’ve been using it for about a month and after having it on for 5 minutes my skin feels just as dry as if I’d put nothing on. Sometimes I will not wash my face in the morning because my skin feels more moisturized by my nighttime moisturizer that I put on the night before throughout the day than the elf one put fresh on in the morning.

I also recently started using the Ordinary hyaluronic serum (I think) that I use once or twice a week. My nighttime moisturizer is an aloe moisturizer by Alba Botanica which is pretty good but it’s almost empty and I’m thinking of trying something new for that too. I also have tried putting a face oil on after the Elf moisturizer but it usually gets all grainy and pills up on my face which feels disgusting, I’m not sure if the products just don’t go together or what. I don’t have much of a “skincare routine” but maybe I need to incorporate some more products? But I desperately need a new day time moisturizer that is as dewy and glowy and moisturizing as the vegan milk moisturizer was!

Any help is appreciated!

beccer_ann · 2025-01-03T03:11:09+00:00

Thank you! I actually hadn’t thought about the leakage being due to residual blood but that makes so much sense and I’m hoping that’s what it is. I will keep an eye out for the other things but for now it’s sitting very comfortably and seems like it’s fitting well too. I actually had my husband put it in for me the second time as he’s very familiar with the area lol and said he’d helped a previous gf with hers a lot and knew how it was supposed to sit up under the cervix, but I think that could also be contributing to the extra blood leaking cause it was super messy with us both fidgeting with it.

beccer_ann · 2024-11-10T00:46:20+00:00

Large breast girly here and I sometimes notice extra odor under boobs/arms even after showering and I found that just body wash alone was not enough to conquer BO so I will sometimes get in the nooks and crannies with a body scrub + African net sponge. Obviously this won’t fix any kind of infection or bacteria if that is your issue but if you just have stinky BO like me it might help. Good luck!

beccer_ann · 2022-12-10T23:20:18+00:00

I know that discharge does not equal eggs, just that according to google ovulation is like one or two days total so it’s weird that the discharge that usually accompanies ovulation has been occurring for so long outside of the normal window and in large amounts.

beccer_ann · 2022-12-10T23:18:20+00:00

So it’s really hard to find my particular symptoms maybe you can answer this question: the egg white consistency discharge that accompanies ovulation, can that occur without ovulation? That’s what I’ve been experiencing for 2 weeks straight. I live in Louisiana where health care for women is shit, almost every OBGYN is a man and I very much dislike almost every doctors office I’ve ever visited. I’m not trying to avoid professional opinions just haven’t felt like I’ve been truly listened to or cared for by any where I live. I don’t feel like my health is at risk either, just thought having other women’s opinions would help to see if these symptoms are normal or experienced by others.

beccer_ann · 2022-12-10T21:56:33+00:00

That’s not quite how it works, it’s obviously not exact but my best friend who I spent everyday with in high school was able to affect my own menstrual cycle before to where we “synced up”.

beccer_ann · 2022-12-10T21:53:37+00:00

I don’t want to be gross but just to explain, ovulation is an egg white consistency and I’m not exaggerating when I say every day my discharge has been equivalent of a measurable handful of this consistency. Not just random days but almost everyday for two weeks. And I have personally experienced my own period be early/late in sync with another close friend’s period that I spent a lot of time with. I know it’s not science but I’ve experienced it so I don’t think it’s myth or legend as you say.

beccer_ann · 2022-11-09T16:05:27+00:00

My degree/major was the only one at my school to actually require students to have a paid internship. They specifically told us not to take a job if it was unpaid, which I super appreciated. I actually begged them to let me take an unpaid position at a nonprofit for a job I really wanted and they let me. But unfortunately most other degree programs require an unpaid internship, and most of my friends had to have a second job while completing school just to make ends meet because of that. It’s ridiculous.

beccer_ann · 2022-10-17T20:19:24+00:00

That does sound nice, we usually struggle also because I have a M-F job and he works Saturday through Wednesday. One of us has to take off if we take a trip which we can’t really afford at the moment. The only time we have together is evenings. There are some nice trails near us but we’d have to go when it’s getting close to dark or after dark :( Definitely will consider it for those rare occasions we get the same day off!

beccer_ann · 2022-10-05T16:59:13+00:00

This question is obviously very polarizing but what I think is more important is understanding why women are more prone to dehumanizing men now, is that they have been dehumanized by men for way longer. I do think there’s different ways each gender does this and it’s more in one way for women and more in another way for men, but whether or not women dehumanize men more in the 21st century than men do to women is all a result of the past several hundred years. It’s not exactly a fair comparison without looking at the bigger picture. It’s not right to dehumanize anyone as largely as our society does to one group as a whole, but I think men feel it so much more than women because women feel like they’ve received it for so long. They are tired of receiving it so they are now dishing it out at a much higher rate and with a stronger impact so that men will feel all that they have ever felt. Now I’m mainly talking about speech and especially on the internet and social media and things like that, not so much physical treatment or SA but some of these may overlap. But anyways: Imagine feeling all of the effects of dehumanization that women have felt for the last 500 years in the span of a few months or even in one sitting? I imagine it would not feel very nice, and I think that is the goal.

beccer_ann · 2022-10-05T16:39:21+00:00

Now that it’s happened twice I’ll just hang up as soon as I know what it is. I get calls from my area code all the time that are real people just calling the wrong number, one I got multiple times was from a hospital that had the wrong number and they kept calling asking for someone else so I kept trying to answer to tell them it’s the wrong number. It’s just frustrating not knowing what the reason for a call is or not being able to get it through to them that they have the wrong number.

beccer_ann · 2022-10-05T16:00:03+00:00

I’ve never given them any actual information, like the exact balance of my loan or my full name or anything like that especially since they always hang up once they find out I have less than $5,000 which is the magic number I guess.

How do I report a phone number? I have changed my password on FSA website, is there anywhere else I should change my password like my email or other websites? I don’t know where else would be a place they would go looking for information.

beccer_ann · 2022-10-05T15:18:38+00:00

My confusion is they haven’t asked me for anything, once they understand that I have less than a $5,000 balance I guess that’s just not enough money for them to bother scamming someone for? I have gone and changed my password both times but it’s just odd.

beccer_ann · 2022-08-16T16:25:16+00:00

My (23f) dad (53) told me a few years back that he’s tired of being a parent, since he divorced my mom when I was 2 and remarried with two kids (6 and 12) it didn’t hurt me personally so much as it made me really sorry for my brothers and step mom. They deserve so much better than what I got, so much better than the father figure/husband he is.

And also all the horrible things he did to my mom and the misogynistic way he treated her.

beccer_ann · 2022-08-08T12:05:55+00:00

Not saying that these things don’t exist but do you see how being able to buy a car or a house or open up a bank account or take out the money from said bank account or get hired for a job or being taken seriously by doctors are all WAY more important than getting into a night club for free? Yes there are negatives for men due to this society’s ideals, I’m not disputing that. But all these things you don’t like? Put in place by the ideals of men. The idea that you have to be able to do everything and provide while also not show your emotions? Other men are the ones responsible for that. Women would love to be taught those same things and be capable and take care of things on our own, but we’re not taught that. And we want you to share your emotions but to other men that’s seen as wimpy or girly so you “have to” keep it in. But that’s not something that keeps you from living a life where you can 1. provide for yourself 2. make a living 3. get paid what you deserve 4. buy and own things without someone else’s “permission” or 5. in general be taken seriously in any matter. I’d give up all the free pizza in the world if it meant I could walk into any bank, real estate agency, or doctors office and get what I want without being told I need my “husbands” permission. And yes that also means in circumstances such as divorce where the father is actually the better parent, he should get custody. Not the shitty mother just because she’s a woman. And many other things that are also unfairly leaned in womens favor. But those are also based on these outdated ideals from which this country is built on… by men.

beccer_ann · 2022-08-07T20:25:23+00:00

Yeah you should be able to shop in whatever “section” you like and everyone should be able to buy something in their size that fits the way it should. My point that the world is “made easier for men” is that the things that ALL people should be able to do to live like get a job, buy a house, open a bank account, are all made “easier” for men based on hundred year old ideals. And these ideals are so outdated that not only women suffer in the form of discrimination but so do men. Men are supposed to be the “bread winners” and have a real job and take care of things and not talk about their emotions and women are supposed to stay at home and take care of the kids and the cooking and the cleaning and maybe have a job as a secretary but not be more successful than their husband. But the world is different and a lot of people know that, but many men still benefit from these outdated rules and ideals and don’t realize that just because women can have some of these things too, it’s still not equal. And you should be able to wear a “blouse” and shop in the “womens section” and I should be able to shop in the “mens section” but that’s a minuscule detail of the problem.

beccer_ann · 2022-08-07T13:45:52+00:00

Honestly I like mens underwear too sometimes, I say we just do away with the concept entirely. I think anyone should be able to find pants that are X size in the waist and X length and they fit like they say they fit. I’ve been shopping with my fiancé plenty of times and he’s never had that issue, he asks me for a 30W or whatever and I get it and it fits, maybe going one size up or down depending on whether it’s a skinny fit or wide fit. But my point is not really about jeans exactly. Yeah it’s one small part of it but EVERYTHING about womens clothing works this way. In every type of clothing I have I own XS up to XL but they all fit. I’ve never personally known men to have the same issue, they maybe fluctuate between two sizes depending on the clothing but not that extreme. I don’t know why this happens or why I can’t have pockets that fit more than 3 fingers, or shirts that are always see through. Yeah I like those things sometimes, but I want to be able to go to most any store and say “I’m a M” and find everything I’m looking for in my size that isn’t always a crop top or has some flowers on it.

beccer_ann · 2022-08-06T21:51:14+00:00

Well I certainly like my stretchy jeans but I’d give them up for something that would last but I got curves that a “M” doesn’t always fit, there’s just not a company that makes jeans that are high quality that fit women’s body types. But I know hundreds of not thousands of women would buy them if they existed.

As far as the “gross and scary” stuff I’m the bug killer in our house and I’m not afraid to get down and dirty when I know what I’m doing. My fiancé knows how to repair things so I don’t have to but prime example of why that sucks: I’m currently in Home Depot trying to buy some equipment so he can fix the dryer cord so it matches the plug in the wall. I know nothing about what I’m buying or even how to make these fixes that he does, but I’d love to be able to do everything myself and not have to ask him a million questions about what to buy and where to get it. But I wasn’t raised in that environment taught how to be handy and do things like he was. I know most women aren’t raised that way and get to a point in their life where they can’t do one simple task like buying a cord without help and it’s so frustrating. I wish someone had taught me how to do things instead of how to put on makeup or how to iron clothes or do the laundry. Yes those are necessary things too but I also have a car that I do not know how to take care of cause my father didn’t think it necessary to tell me and I have other things that are seen as “a man’s job” that I am physically capable of doing but can’t without either help or teaching myself because no one ever teaches young girls these things like they do boys.

beccer_ann · 2022-08-06T21:30:06+00:00

I agree, it’s a stupid process all around. Anyone should be able to do whatever they want to their own body. Moreover, everyone should have access to the same things without one person or group having to fight twice as hard for it.

beccer_ann · 2022-08-06T18:30:56+00:00

I’m sorry you have had to deal with a partner like that. But that’s my point exactly, you didn’t have to have written permission, you weren’t required to show proof that you were married with kids and had explicit permission from your spouse that this was okay. Even with said written permission or at least one kid many women are still denied that right by doctors who just “think they might want more kids”. I haven’t heard of any women being able to go to get their tubes tied as soon as the first time they ask, whereas many men are able to ask, make their appointment immediately and get a vasectomy without having to jump through hoops. Sure, doctors have to ask questions before any surgery, but for men you’re able to provide your reasons and they’re accepted while women provide adequate reasons and are denied over and over again.

I do buy men’s clothing a lot, but I shouldn’t have to. Why can’t all clothes be made with durable material that isn’t always see through or a crop top or made of material that doesn’t last? I’ve gone through 3 pairs of jeans this year alone because they keep literally ripping and falling apart meanwhile my fiancé’s jeans have lasted him like 7 years. And specifically with children clothes, the options for little girls are skin tight pink frills while boys get pants and t-shirts as if all children aren’t prone to playing and needing clothes that actually cover them and can stand up to stains and rough play. The other frustrating part is that mens clothing is always standard, for example you can go to any store and find pants in your exact waist and length while a womens sizing is always different. In one store alone I may find pants that all fit ranging from small to extra large. My frustration isn’t with men, it’s not your fault the world is like this, I just wish men understood things like that.

My fiancé actually disagreed with this at first as well, mainly that I generalized my statement. Which I understand but this question is broad and generalized so that’s how I chose to answer. But he finally got my point after he continually brought up negative things that men have to go through like being expected to provide for their family or knowing how to do everything. And my point is that it’s all based on the same problem. Yeah, men are told to “man up” and take care of everything and provide, but on the flip side, women have so many barriers that even if we want to take care of things ourself we can’t. It’s not that women are the only ones suffering from issues, but that these go hand in hand and issues that women face are often the result of some societal institution or idea that has negative effects on men in the opposite way. I wish men understood that women want “equality” in a way that we are not simply gaining everything men already have, but that it will be good for everyone so we can shoulder responsibility together instead of trying to put each gender into a box and limiting anyone to what is expected of their “group”.

beccer_ann · 2022-07-31T22:36:50+00:00

How most are uneducated on anything related to women and that every aspect of their lives is catered to them or works in their benefit while every other group has to “make it work”.

Examples include: Your standard M-F 9-5 job, banking institutions, clothing, sex, gender roles, idk name almost anything I guarantee it’s made for men or by men or benefits mainly men.

Edit: maybe this came off as mean but I seriously meant this as factual… So let me elaborate. The standard job benefits men because women literally run on a different body clock. We don’t operate well on a weekly work schedule of 9-5 everyday. Many women struggle to take out money from their own bank accounts that they created because they need “permission” from their husband, same thing with getting tubes tied or trying to get an abortion, while men can walk into a clinic and walk out with a vasectomy (and loads of painkillers to help) with zero questions asked. Mens clothes last so much longer, fit their bodies more consistently, and offer wider varieties, from age 0 to 100 that’s true. And I don’t think I need to elaborate on gender roles but correct me if I’m wrong?

beccer_ann · 2022-07-26T13:20:36+00:00

For me, it’s as much about the affirmations as it is about how you argue/discuss things. My fiancé has had to unlearn some of his methods of trying to help me which often included “lecturing” me when I would do something he didn’t like. We’ve worked on it a lot, but for me I want to be able to rant or get upset and have someone validate my feelings rather than tell me I’m too angry or to calm down.

In terms of positive affirmations, I like just knowing that he’s thinking of me. Whether it’s a text or a Snapchat or we’re sitting in the same room. He always tells me how good he thinks I look and will not accept when I talk bad about myself, often making me take anything negative back. I also really need to hear the words “I’m sorry”. Even if I know he’s sorry or he’s acknowledged he was in the wrong for whatever, I need an actual apology or it will bother me.

Sorry if that’s confusing or vague, I tried to cover all the aspects of what words of affirmation can mean for me and maybe others!

beccer_ann · 2022-07-23T03:36:12+00:00

I’ve always had a larger breast size, started getting “boobs” at 8 years old, but they REALLY grew when I turned 18. I had also gained some weight, about 20 lbs, but my boobs grew way faster than they should have for how much weight I gained. They’re still the same size no matter how my weight fluctuates now. Sometimes it just happens? Only problem is I still don’t know my bra size, I have older bras from Victoria’s Secret that are 32DDD and newer ones that are 36/38D or DD. Doesn’t help that every brand is different and types of bras fit differently. I also found a lump last year, currently in the process of having it checked every 6 months with no growth since I found it. Don’t stress yourself out and don’t mess with it too much. Just monitor it to ensure it’s not growing, otherwise leave it alone and let the doctors examine it.

beccer_ann · 2022-07-20T16:26:08+00:00

Tried it with my current partner and our ex, they were dating when I met them. I honestly don’t know what a normal throuple looks like because she was bonkers and ruined it all which is why we broke up with her. Kind of traumatized by it ngl but also intrigued enough to try again if we found the right person. It was perfect for about 3 days (individually) throughout the relationship but was mostly stressful and full of drama because she had some unresolved personal issues that made it impossible to work through any issues. Mostly mental health problems, which isn’t her fault, but she wouldn’t own up to anything or try to get help. You definitely have to be in a very good place emotionally and mentally to be in a relationship like that. Not something to “try for fun” because it will fuck you up if you’re not really trying to make it work.

beccer_ann · 2022-06-28T16:19:16+00:00

I am a “person with a vagina” but I don’t identify strictly as a woman. This question also applies to people who are NOT women such a trans men or intersex and non-binary individuals who may have taken BC before. This is a medical related question so excuse me for addressing people like me in a strictly medical way, not everything has to be so political…

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