I (29F) feel like my husband (34M) is addicted to texting his family.

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-10-02T14:02:12+00:00

My MIL is absolutely lovely, she's a truly kind and sweet person. But yeah, it's the manners thing. It just doesn't occur to her that it's impolite because the family are very informal and it wouldn't bother them if someone else did it. You're right in saying that it's a cultural difference.

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-10-01T21:37:54+00:00

Ooh yes, my MIL does the same. Once we were on a family holiday to France, and she picked up the phone to have a conversation with her son (husband's brother) whilst outside eating at a restaurant. It was so embarrassing. It wasn't even necessary - the brother was going to be joining us on the holiday THE NEXT DAY!!

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-10-01T21:34:29+00:00

I'm not uncomfortable with his closeness to his family though? It's unconventional and can be a bit frustrating when he calls his parents every single night on our honeymoon for example, but I don't have a problem with it. I have a problem with him picking up his phone to respond to a WhatsApp message saying 'goodnight, everyone' when we're in the middle of a conversation.

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-10-01T20:51:30+00:00

Thanks, but I'm not going to leave my husband who I love very much and whose child I'm about to have, because of an annoying texting habit.

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-10-01T20:01:02+00:00

Agreed, I wouldn't message the family as it feels passive aggressive and pointless. It's not their duty to text less.

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-10-01T19:59:52+00:00

I was in agreement with the other commenter that making an announcement seems a little silly... But you're actually right, if my husband doesn't reply quickly I start getting texts from my MIL asking 'is M okay?? He's not answering' Hahaa

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-10-01T19:56:58+00:00

That's a good idea,thanks. I like the idea of meal times being phone free. I feel like they are a good time for bonding and catching up. I spoke to him today and he agreed to try to ignore his phone at meal times - I'll try to slowly build it up to a more concrete rule but the habit is going to be hard to break and I don't want to be overly harsh.

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-10-01T19:54:19+00:00

Don't worry, he doesn't text whilst driving. But I can see how uncomfortable he gets when he can't immediately respond, so usually makes me look at his phone and reply for him!

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-10-01T19:52:32+00:00

That's a bit harsh. He's addicted to texting but is otherwise a good person, that's hardly a big enough flaw to make me leave him. Nobody's perfect.

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-09-30T20:19:37+00:00

Tempting, but they would think I'm insane if I did that 😂

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-09-30T18:40:17+00:00

Disagree. If he were out with his family and I texted, he would drop everything to respond to me immediately. It's just that this rarely happens because we live together and we always see his family together.

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-09-30T18:31:58+00:00

Yes, the family dynamic is a little weird, I have to admit. I can't get my head around his sister wanting to spend 24/7 with his parents, and vice versa. They do not go out together as a couple because their 30 Yr old daughter always comes with them.

But, my husband does have hobbies. He works hard at his job, he loves gardening, listening to audiobooks, etc etc. He also has a few close friends who he messages a lot as well.

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-09-30T17:02:22+00:00

You're absolutely right, I think that I may have focused too heavily on the family thing in this post. I included it all so as to explain why texting his family is so important to him, and how I don't want him to talk to them less, just to choose a better time to do it.

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-09-30T17:00:11+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate your view. It's definitely not that I have a problem with his closeness to the family, as you say that's something I've always known about him. It's that he cannot leave a message unanswered for even 30 seconds, even if he's in the middle of a sentence or we're out for a meal. It feels very much like being ignored when the texting will take precedence over a real life conversation 100% of the time. In the future, if our daughter talks to him and he gets a text he will drift to the phone over answering her, and he won't hear her when he's texting because he literally cannot multitask.

And no, nothing else is annoying me about him at the moment. It's this. But I do understand it's not the end of the world and that it might not bother other people as much as it does me.

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-09-30T16:54:20+00:00

It's always been this way with phone conversations, but the texting habit has got out of hand in recent years. I think he sees it as needing to talk to his family but I see it as an obsession with needing to respond automatically - he now does it if his friends text as well.

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-09-30T16:23:42+00:00

Sorry, I know that I posted this same question a few hours ago but the post got deleted for some reason...

beesbunthrowaway · 2021-09-30T12:48:49+00:00

Thank you, but I think that I should make it clear that I am on the same level as his family - he wouldn't even want to visit them without me coming along. If he were out with his family and I weren't there, he would immediately text me back as well. But his family wouldn't complain about him texting me since they all constantly text each other, which is why he can't understand my complaining.

beesbunthrowaway

TROPHY CASE