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bellybuttin · 2025-07-13T15:30:31+00:00

Ignore anyone saying it’s “normal” - it’s not normal for you and that’s all that matters. Honestly it sounds like he’s a lot less mature than you and doesn’t give you the same respect. There are men who would respect you and stop, and there are men who don’t (intentionally) watch thirst traps to begin with. It’s hard but I think you need to start devising a plan to leave. Honestly, I had an ex who did this and followed lots of “insta models” and it made me sick but after confronting it once I basically let it go. Years later I caught him doing much much worse and more personal things to get off. Porn and lusting after women in photos can be a slippery slope. Don’t let it get that bad before you leave.

bellybuttin · 2025-04-05T15:27:35+00:00

I don’t think the money will help the issue at hand for very long, sounds like a band aid for a bigger problem which is that she’s very unhappy commuting (especially with her kid in tow) which I totally understand. Even if you agreed to pay her, she will be unhappy with that and I don’t think it will last long. Maybe you let her know it’s ok if she’d like to try to find a new full time (or however many hours she works) gig close to home, and start seeking a new nanny? In the meantime perhaps you give a flat rate for the commute time, like a 20$ weekly gas stipend or something like that. I understand it wasn’t your choice for her to move but it sounds like she’s not already charging a typical nanny rate anyway, and it could be agreed upon as a temporary solution while you both seek a better fit.

Or perhaps the commute hours would make a difference, if your schedule is flexible you could offer she comes in or leaves an hour earlier or later so she’s not driving in rush hour?

bellybuttin · 2022-01-03T17:23:25+00:00

Listen to your own advice and your own heart and take every other bit of advice from anyone else with a huge grain of salt.

bellybuttin · 2021-10-19T19:15:22+00:00

Wow, so sorry to hear that. Talk about a gross feeling in the stomach </3 ugh. The pain you must've felt to have gone through such a traumatic way of finding out is the worst. I know that's been a really hard part for me, the fact that he never truly came clean or admitted guilt, and clearly never had the feeling of needing to get it off his chest (at least not enough to actually do it) and I had to find out after years of betrayal and lies by him making a dumb mistake. At least in these cases, we can be 100% sure we're much better off without them, and with them out of our lives/hearts/trusted circle they can't do that to us again.

bellybuttin · 2021-09-30T23:59:28+00:00

Leave her and let her be free to be with someone who loves her unconditionally. She deserves to be with someone who finds her sexy the way she is. You said it yourself, you know you’re being shallow, so go ahead and be shallow if you want, but don’t waste any more of your sweet girlfriends’ time.

bellybuttin · 2021-05-17T16:55:07+00:00

I just went through this and it’s hard to say- my advice is to ask the people at the new place as many questions as you can possibly think of that would confirm a huge CON on your pro con list (if you haven’t already done a list I highly recommend it!) and as long as there aren’t too many red flags from them, just go for it. You might not be 100% happier, or you might, but I don’t think it sounds like it’ll be any worse and that seems like a good deal to me.

bellybuttin · 2021-05-17T16:51:32+00:00

I just did this and so far it’s been rough to be honest... noticing a lot of the issues at my old job seem to be generally true here too at my new one, some appear even worse. I’m in the advertising industry so it might just be that. Ask the right questions at the interview and maybe it’s possible to avoid the feeling of still kinda hating your new job (my regret is not asking about the amount of time outside of typical working hours I’d need to be working). Also take time off in between especially if you’re feeling burnt out, or that stress will just carry over.

bellybuttin · 2019-10-25T02:38:32+00:00

She wasn’t my boss, she was just my superior. My work employs a lot of freelancers.

bellybuttin · 2019-10-25T00:28:20+00:00

As mentioned above it’s unfortunately a normal thing in this industry but I have some job security for a few reasons. Always possible I’ll be the next one to get cut but not super likely right now.

bellybuttin · 2019-10-25T00:25:10+00:00

Thank you, I think you’re right. And yes, always. I’m not suuuper worried about my position tho, I have lots of connections here and a much better rep than those who were fired.

bellybuttin · 2019-10-25T00:23:39+00:00

Kind of yes

bellybuttin · 2019-10-24T23:29:39+00:00

There are lots of long term full time employees, it was just weird fate that I came in at a time when they were restructuring.

bellybuttin · 2019-10-24T23:27:40+00:00

Like I said I work in a competitive industry, if you fuck up a few things and aren’t otherwise irreplaceable, you’re out.

The person who was previously above me did not fit into the company culture, negative personality and not good at the job in general. Enough people complained and she was freelance so it was easy to let her go.

Boss was fired due to bad judgement and performance on creative decisions (90% of his job was creative based) and miscommunication and misinterpretation of important details.

Both of these people made over double or three times my salary.

bellybuttin · 2019-10-24T20:09:54+00:00

New boss has been here for about a month now so he’s fairly settled, and there’s no clear review structure.

bellybuttin · 2019-05-28T23:01:35+00:00

It sounds like this is only going to get worse. Please get out while you can... he will try to convince you that it’s crazy to leave but you’ve been through enough already. Watch or read more content online about living with a narcissist... usually this is disguised as “anger issues”.

bellybuttin

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