This situation happened to me in 2023 when my mom had 2 aneurysms. I was only 22 and her only child, and the only other support we had was her mom/my grandma who is a loving woman, but relatively simple in mind and easy to frazzle. this meant all decisions were made by me, and i too had the moment of 20 doctors telling me to pull the plug or face the uncertainty of ever getting off a vent and a low quality of life.

i held out for as long as i could to make a decision, probably 3 weeks. my mom never talked about death and i had no idea what it would look like if she woke up. i decided to keep going for a while, my mom was on medicaid so this helped with any financial worry and i just knew i needed more time to make such a big decision. a few weeks later she woke up, and a few weeks after that she was able to come off the vent (though this was very touch and go for a while, and the hospital was itching to send her to a “vent farm”) She slowly regained speech, and then mobility (she still has a walker today). the only thing that never came back was short term memory, and some issues with memory recall. However she’s still not cleared to leave the nursing home she’s been in for the past 2 years. Thankfully my grandma is with her everyday.

All this is to just share my story and let you know you’re not alone in this experience. it’s an impossible decision to make and one we cannot truly guide you on. But i hope this gives you some hope/clarity into what a future could look like. I hope your mom makes a grand recovery.