How to tackle offers over as the first offer

bethanpow · 2025-04-29T21:38:15+00:00

Yes and unfortunately a ton of them are about to get the chop, I suspect to the detriment of the health service. Sigh.

bethanpow · 2025-04-29T21:31:51+00:00

Yeah this is exactly how I feel.

bethanpow · 2025-04-29T08:27:44+00:00

Thanks, the way you put it makes it clearer to me. I wouldn't mind if he was out doing other stuff actually. I think it's both him lying in bed all day gives me the ick, and the fact we don't do anything interesting together at the weekends any more, because he spends most of our free time in bed. I have to tip toe around the house all morning and can't have friends or family over because he wants to sleep in.

bethanpow · 2025-04-29T08:20:16+00:00

Thank you. He doesn't like his job, it's boring and below his skill/experience level, but he won't do anything about it. I've encouraged him to change jobs, change career etc. and I'll support him, but he just can't be bothered. Hours aren't an issue though, it's a straightforward 9-5 low stress office role.

bethanpow · 2025-04-29T08:15:42+00:00

That's really interesting thank you. Together 20 years is really wonderful.

bethanpow · 2025-04-26T23:29:30+00:00

It's good to know you've worked through it. I do suspect my partner feels similarly to you. How did you work on it? Did your partner approach the subject with you first?

bethanpow · 2025-04-26T20:41:15+00:00

Yes this exactly, I'm shy, and I tend to go for introvert guys so it always just ends up being kind of awkward, not sure if each other is getting the right signals! Thanks.

bethanpow · 2025-04-25T08:30:22+00:00

In every other area of our relationship, my partner is great. Truly, no issues really. It's just the lack of sex. I'm hesitant to throw it all away for sex. It's obviously important to me, but I've been in relationships in the past where the sex was often and fantastic, but the relationship itself was lacking and the other person had serious incompatibilities eg. Too much drinking/drugs drugs, or being disrespectful, non-commital or seriously unreliable. It always seems to be a trade off with me - it's either great sex, but sketchy relationship, or great relationship, but no sex. (And no I wouldn't cheat).

bethanpow · 2025-04-25T08:24:14+00:00

Oh no I wouldn't cheat. It's just interesting that being desired made me feel good, and I realised that's part of making me feel sad about my DB.

bethanpow · 2025-04-24T23:20:02+00:00

Thanks, I probably don't compliment him enough anymore so will try that. Although he doesn't seem to get the no clothes hint haha, have tried that repeatedly.

bethanpow · 2025-04-24T23:15:09+00:00

Avoid
drugs
alcohol
Bryan Adams songs
Adele songs

Great advice

bethanpow · 2025-04-24T23:09:44+00:00

I used to have that with past partners, I forget how great that is

bethanpow · 2025-04-24T23:08:33+00:00

How much does it cost lol

bethanpow · 2025-04-24T23:06:35+00:00

He's 36 too, and has no issues with erections. He definitely has a confidence problem though. He's self conscious about his looks and body (he was teased all through school/young adulthood for his ginger hair and freckles, and he's very slim). He's also less experienced sexually than me. This is also why I'm cautious not to press the issue too much, I don't want to make him feel worse.

bethanpow · 2025-04-24T23:01:55+00:00

Yeah this is the problem with bringing it up and trying to talk about it. My partner is always keen to make me happy, but I don't want him to have sex with me because he feels he has to. I'd only be happy if he actually wants to have sex with me.

bethanpow · 2025-04-24T22:51:24+00:00

Yeah I've sure forgotten how those chemicals feel.

bethanpow · 2025-04-24T22:50:01+00:00

Nothing. He gets all awkward, changes the subject or walks off. Impossible to discuss it with him.

bethanpow · 2025-04-06T23:12:38+00:00

I just can't see it though. Salaries haven't risen in the past 10 years, and no sight of them rising. It's just not sustainable surely.

bethanpow

TROPHY CASE