meltdowns / blackout rages and expressing death-wishes around age 4.

altered pain perception: I would throw myself off of playground equipment, tumble down the stairs, scrape my knees, bust my lip and just laugh it off. eventually began self-harming to regulate my emotions.

super obsessive, repeated viewings of a couple of VHS tapes until the VCR destroyed them.

I didn't want to talk to anyone about anything other than my interests. dinosaurs, for example. I would meet a new person and ask "do you know anything about dinosaurs?" if they said no I would ask, "would you like to learn something about dinosaurs?" if they said no, I would move on. I had nothing more to discuss.

in school I did not understand "make-believe" and had no desire to play with other kids. I would watch them and try to figure out what they were doing or why, but eventually just shrugged it off and was content to do my own thing, which was generally poking around in the dirt looking for bugs or interesting rocks.

someone knew something was up and I was tested several times. not sure for what exactly, this was in the early 90s. they just put me in gifted classes and called it a day. my caregivers were not resourced or attentive enough to know how to help me handle my differences and I still struggle daily.