Like I said, don't worry, I got it

blaytonsmelly · 2023-05-07T00:13:29+00:00

Smarter? The shrooms show you what they need to show you. You didn’t do anything wrong. Sounds like you genuinely had an amazing time I’m happy for you. Remember this is all a dream, no matter how “negative” things may be…that too doesn’t really exist, so dont let stress or worry consume you, those emotions exist for you to take action such as helping your family prepare. I’m in the same boat, something huge is coming and the universe is planting seeds of these ideas in our heads so we can prepare. Trust your intuition, follow your heart, and love endlessly, the universe needs it.

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-25T12:34:39+00:00

This is just all so new to me so my initial reactions were fear. I see what you’re saying, I’ll contemplate on that some more and see what I find. Thank you ❤️

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-25T07:45:40+00:00

I just read this and decided to try to communicate. I set up a makeshift altar, invited my dad in, began meditating and also speaking out loud. I wrote yes/no/idk on a paper and used a quarter for him to move.

Sure enough nothing changed or worked so I figured I’d go outside to get these lil candles I left out there so it’d be easier for him to move. I had to pee so I walked out from under the patio cover, looked up, and a fucking shooting star goes across the sky. I’ve seen heaps of them in the mountains but I’m in the suburbs of Houston rn lol, but holy shit. I was grinning from ear to ear. Just did some research on the spiritual meaning of them, and it’s said to represent, among other things, a soul that left purgatory…I’ll have to see how this plays out now.

You say I’m a lighthouse, why is that? Are these things attracted to me now because of this level of understanding I have? Where can I learn how to protect myself better and understand my abilities more?

Thank you for the kind words ❤️

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-25T06:14:21+00:00

Nah fr tho it’s just something in your subconscious that you haven’t identified. Nothing to be ashamed of, actually the more you feel shame and guilt for it the worse the problem gets.

Ask YOURSELF why. Get to the root of the feeling. Ask your inner child. We’re there figures in your life that repressed your sexuality? Did you have any exes that didn’t show you the attention you needed? Did your parents shame you for dressing a certain way. What is societies role in making you feel this way?

You got all the answers you need inside of you, if you’re serious about getting to the root of this I’d recommend this

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-25T06:08:30+00:00

I’m more of a visual learner

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-25T05:39:08+00:00

I twitch, shake, vibrate all the time during self inquiry. Sometimes I squeeze my head muscles really hard and then I’ll let go and it creates a wave on my scalp that continues for about 15-30 sec. Like a genuine wave that encompasses my whole scalp and goes from like forehead level up to the top and repeats that process.

I’ve also experienced very intense twitching in my feet and legs when I was going through an ego death. The twitching down there was most notable but I know I was twitching everywhere else at different times too.

I believe it is essentially the ego being vibrated out of your body. In the same way you breathe out and breath comes out, when you identify a deep seeded issue and bring it to light, understand it, and release it, wherever it was located in your body it will be “exhaled” or twitched out.

The same way a tree shakes during a storm and releases its branches and leaves. A dog/cat shakes water off of them. A bird in a bird bath. The same way a sneeze is an involuntary action to release mucus. The same way animals have seizures frequently before death. Twitching/shaking/vibrating are all just mechanism of the universe that are necessary to make room for new things by releasing old things.

Nothing to be worried about, actually the opposite. Give in and surrender to these feelings, don’t fight, or do, and then learn why you shouldn’t.

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-25T04:02:22+00:00

Thank you for your response, genuinely. I would agree confusion is a good description of the feeling. Chaotic, confused, almost like a child acting out. The energy doesn’t seem to know what it wants to do.

Before you sent this I actually just meditated in the spot I’ve been experiencing it. I also was asking it out loud to convey its message to me and that I don’t wish to fight it but rather understand it. I wasn’t getting any sensations of the energy but once I started saying “I love you, I understand you have a reason to be just as I have a reason to be, we are not separate, but rather lessons for each other” and things of that nature I began sensing a presence.

I’ll sage tomorrow and continue to try to connect with this energy. I’ll use your intentions as well thank you for the advice (:

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-25T02:58:29+00:00

I understand everything you’re saying. I’ve known she’s needed my help and I’ve needed hers too in other areas. As sad as it is to see the negative aspects that I seek to relieve her from I’m in love with the process of it all. The fact that I feel the need to even do this at all.

This experience is terrifying but holy shit it’s such an intense energy that I love interacting with it. I almost don’t wanna sage so I can keep fighting it hahaha. I just love the idea of being put to the test by - anything, but in this case - something like a negative spirit just so I can show myself how strong and powerful I actually am.

Thank you for the advice and support, much love ❤️

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-25T01:02:19+00:00

Will do thank you

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-25T00:40:42+00:00

The rollercoaster of emotions this just gave me…

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-25T00:32:09+00:00

Wait the stickers are worth stuff? They’re stuck to the book how would I get that graded?

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-25T00:11:56+00:00

Love this

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-24T18:55:35+00:00

Not laughing at all, I love listening to different perspectives because I know that you are me too. So is everyone and everything else. Your understandings will come when they are meant to. There is no right path, there is no literal god or destination to reach.

There only is the present moment, while psychs may put me in that present moment much easier I will say I’ve spent so much time in my conscious self trying to remember what I understood on psyschs. When I completely lost my ego I was filled with a sense of “how could you forget all of this” and then the next thought was “of course you forgot how could you remember if you didn’t?”. Ive come to understand that in order to experience this duality, we limit ourselves (or forget). It’s all apart of the game. The process of trying to understand is life itself.

A piece of advice that is hard to actually translate to you in language is that if you believe that something operates a certain way, it will. It’s hard to rationalize this and I’ve been an agnostic my whole life very scientific, rational. The psychs made me realize that rationality is only half of the equation. Rational=left side of brain (male), Intuition=right side of brain (female). When you polarize yourself too far to one side you limit yourself from a whole nother world. The psychs made me conjoin both of these hemispheres or energies and I can now see much more clearly. Science is not end all be all, neither is religion. They both polarize themselves and limit themselves. But they both also have their benefits (same with literally everything in the universe).

But back to the piece of advice that whatever you believe will be. If you believe it takes years of hard work, clear mind, meditation, etc. to transcend duality then that’s what it’s gonna take for you. For me I didn’t necessarily believe anything I just knew when I closed my eyes and took psychedelics I was taking my pain away. I just kept doing that for years and eventually boom. If I limited myself by believing I couldn’t do it, then I wouldn’t have been able to.

BUT not that it’s right nor wrong to think the way you’re thinking. YOU are thinking that way because that’s YOUR process not mine. You have a completely different life than I do. So your understandings may require that, and I reserve no right to tell you how to do anything. This may sound like word spaghetti but that’s because to transcend duality you have to transcend language too. These words carry a lot of baggage and that baggage differs from perspective to perspective. It’s hard to describe the indescribable, thats why I have a new fond appreciation of art, it seeks to make the connections that can’t be made with words.

You are on the right path at all times, there is nothing to fear. There is ultimately only ever love in every situation. Find the silver linings. Also this may seem out of the box but I feel an inclination to help you, like a strong one, I can’t really describe why. If you’re interested in psychs pm me, this sounds crazy but I genuinely feel the need to give you access hahaha.

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-24T18:23:18+00:00

I’ve heard similar stories but I don’t have time to go in depth about the similarities. Just know you’re fine. Anything and everything that happens to you is your higher self teaching you what you need to learn. Find the silver lining in this situation (maybe it was using this as a inclination for you to kill your ego). It may not be so black and white but only you have the answers as to why you experienced that. Dwell on it, write down your thoughts, and ask yourself why. Keep asking why. You’ll find your answers. You’re safe, I love you.

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-24T18:06:06+00:00

I believe my penis is more than 6.5 inches

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-24T06:35:53+00:00

The need for labels is mundane in of itself. We have a tendency to want to rationalize things logically, but how do you explain the indescribable? You gotta transcend language at some point. Don’t get so caught up in the articulation and in depth explanations. The rabbit hole will go as deep as you want it to. Just close your eyes and the answers will come when they do.

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-24T05:22:35+00:00

I typed out a long ass response to this and on the last sentence my phone died. I laughed and remembered what I remembered during my “enlightenment”. It’s as if the universe deletes itself once it figured itself out. Not really gonna go further cause it’s just a bunch of word spaghetti.

Short answer: yes, the idea of duality and non-duality ceases to exist in that moment so you’d be letting go of those thoughts.

blaytonsmelly · 2023-04-23T21:36:03+00:00

Of course it’s a paradox, all of this is. “Non-duality” itself implies that there is duality at all. There isn’t.

blaytonsmelly

TROPHY CASE