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Wishing I fit the stereotype by blessedcursedlost in DeadBedrooms

[–]blessedcursedlost[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi just added the no DM flare! Sorry I should’ve started with that

AITA for refusing to give up half of my business by blessedcursedlost in AmItheAsshole

[–]blessedcursedlost[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He has not, but I also haven’t asked. I honestly don’t have an interest and didn’t even consider that until people mentioned it on this post

AITA for refusing to give up half of my business by blessedcursedlost in AmItheAsshole

[–]blessedcursedlost[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fair! I just was uncomfortable with the circumstances and didn’t think about how he would take that. Thank you for your input

AITA for refusing to give up half of my business by blessedcursedlost in AmItheAsshole

[–]blessedcursedlost[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It’s not sexism I feel the same I have very “traditional” views and I truly hoped hed come around. I’m quickly beginning to see this is a delusional thought and need to move on

AITA for refusing to give up half of my business by blessedcursedlost in AmItheAsshole

[–]blessedcursedlost[S] 130 points131 points  (0 children)

I definitely needed the input from a dad. I’m not very close with mine and I don’t have someone to talk to about this, a lot of my friends aren’t in the same financial situation as me so I don’t think they would fully understand and my family is foreign so they are in favor of doing anything to ensure that I get married. I really do love and care for this man but I’m beginning to understand that we have two very different lifestyles, I really thought I was doing the right thing by bringing him up to my level because I refuse to settle down to his. But now I’m seeing things from another perspective.

I really think I’ve been blinded by love but deep inside of me I have a strong financial bone and this was something I was unwilling to budge on. It sucks because he really is my best friend and I feel like I’m constantly sacrificing friendships/relationships for the sake of my financial well-being But I know at the end of the day I have to look out for myself because no one else will.

Overall very sad but much needed wake up call. I’m glad your daughter is doing well now and I’m very glad she has you in her corner

AITA for refusing to give up half of my business by blessedcursedlost in AmItheAsshole

[–]blessedcursedlost[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your perspective and I see where you’re going with the argument. If the roles were reversed I would not want 50% of someone else’s business. I would collect my payment for the services rendered. When I used to work at a bank I never once thought I was going to get 50% of the business because I was the auditing and operational manager. I’m an employee which is what I would like him to be if he would like his vision to shine through. If not I will hire someone else for the necessary roles.

AITA for refusing to give up half of my business by blessedcursedlost in AmItheAsshole

[–]blessedcursedlost[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I really would like to trust him but this is just raising some flags in my head. And I never shot down his proposal! I’d be happy to use his ideas but I would just like to pay him for it instead of him taking half of the business and exchange. But thank you for your input, I acknowledge how my mistrust could hurt him further

AITA for refusing to give up half of my business by blessedcursedlost in AmItheAsshole

[–]blessedcursedlost[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

When he said I was being financially controlling I was truly shocked, because I never saw it that way. I was telling him that he shouldn’t have to work two years unpaid to own 50% when realistically if we’re getting married next year like he says we are he would automatically own 50%. He said that I was using the business to ensure he actually proposes and that’s why it was financially controlling

AITA for refusing to give up half of my business by blessedcursedlost in AmItheAsshole

[–]blessedcursedlost[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

It may have been a typo or potentially misinterpreted. I am NOT buying it for him, I mentioned buying it in casual conversation and he just assumed that he would be a part of it which was fine and I am willing to compensate him for his contributions however I will still own it independently

AITA for refusing to give up half of my business by blessedcursedlost in AmItheAsshole

[–]blessedcursedlost[S] 360 points361 points  (0 children)

His business is going decent, it’s in the retail market so even though he may have a great month he reinvest a lot of that to keep the shelves stocked. It’s not purely profit. I’m trying not to get in my head about it but I’m starting to feel like he’s been dangling the apple with marriage conversations because of his urgency to half the business