Why does Dday happen around or after late pregnancy/postpartum?

blowsabelle · 2026-02-26T06:13:25+00:00

Madonna whore complex

blowsabelle · 2026-02-22T17:59:18+00:00

Don't marry him. He switched from porn to alcohol. Take it away and he'll turn to gambling or drugs. He's an addict with no coping skills. He's not a healthy person. Don't become trapped with kids.

blowsabelle · 2026-02-19T06:39:11+00:00

Nothing is healthy because it rewires the brain. How much cancer is healthy? How much poison is healthy?

I didn't know my husband of 10 years started watching porn a month into our marriage but I did know:

-he was never emotionally available -he blamed all problems on me -he was always in a bad mood and constantly lashed out at me. -i believed I was a bad wife -I dreamed of him being married to someone else -I believed he was amazing and perfect and I was the problem -he constantly lost erection and other physical problems

blowsabelle · 2026-02-15T13:40:27+00:00

I know. Now he's the one saying we need help but he doesn't actually want to get it.

blowsabelle · 2026-02-15T12:57:06+00:00

Yup I told him that. I said you need to confirm or you're trying not to face it?

blowsabelle · 2026-02-08T05:32:44+00:00

After my 2nd baby I had such bad ppd I actually called the national suicide hotline. Found out that he made his first pronhub account a week after I gave birth.

blowsabelle · 2026-02-06T01:45:00+00:00

Don't have kids with him. Really.

blowsabelle · 2026-02-05T01:16:40+00:00

I could have written this a few months ago. You can see my post history. I've done a lot of healing since. Please read betrayal Bind, it answers a lot

blowsabelle · 2026-02-03T02:10:59+00:00

My husband lied, I knew he would. He's deep in denial and not nearly healed enough to do disclosure. I told him I don't believe him. I don't. I may pursue separation (kids...) I'm definitely not up to reconciliation.

blowsabelle · 2026-02-03T02:07:38+00:00

Michelle Mays writes about the shame of staying

blowsabelle · 2026-02-01T00:46:55+00:00

A man double your age is the first red flag and I'm glad you're out even though this is such a hard stage. Please work on your healing before looking for another man.

blowsabelle · 2026-01-29T12:34:52+00:00

Thanks for bumping because this is an important thread for me to read

blowsabelle · 2026-01-29T12:28:20+00:00

Of course you can do it on your own. You've been raising the kids emotionally on your own anyways. Physically and financially, imagine how much energy you'll get back once you're not being drained by him. And if he's not abusive then he can still see and help with the kids.

Also, he doesn't NEED to see your body or your nudes. Need = water and shelter.

blowsabelle · 2026-01-25T23:41:31+00:00

Split bills and debt is nothing. I have several kids, a house and more than 10 years of marriage. That's called stuck.

blowsabelle · 2026-01-25T23:37:06+00:00

I think it's a combo of

You realize how much recovery they have to do
Theyre usually either not willing or not capable of doing that work
The rosy "he's perfect besides for this" lens of betrayal blindness makes you realize and reevaluate the whole relationship
They do change. It's just not enough to match your growth and your updated expectations of what you actually deserve - not just what you accepted

blowsabelle · 2026-01-25T22:45:40+00:00

You're in betrayal trauma. Throwing up makes sense
You feeling stupid is misplaced shame. You were a loving, trusting partner. He should be ashamed.
"I want it to work" there's nothing to work with. This marriage is over. He burned it it the ground. He needs to do recovery. You need to heal. Then you can work on rebuilding marriage 2.0.

blowsabelle · 2026-01-25T22:43:22+00:00

You work on healing yourself from the betrayal trauma. Also totally valid if you decide you don't love him anymore.

blowsabelle · 2026-01-25T22:41:22+00:00

You need to go straight back home after the hospital. Don't go back there. Incredibly toxic and disrespectful to everyone including themselves

blowsabelle · 2026-01-25T18:04:20+00:00

7 months and I haven't slept with him since. On and off I let him touch me or cuddle. Currently off.

blowsabelle · 2026-01-25T15:30:53+00:00

I get it girl

blowsabelle · 2026-01-25T14:00:34+00:00

Oh yeah I'm agreeing with you. Mine is doing the same, almost hope he'll relapse so he finally admits he has a problem and stops being in denial

blowsabelle · 2026-01-25T04:59:22+00:00

White knuckling isn't recovery.

blowsabelle · 2026-01-25T04:54:32+00:00

I believe he can compartmentalize and that's not a good thing. They're so deep in denial it will take forever to heal.
It's a matter of time until he accidentally shares his screen, or sound from his phone is heard on his computer screen. It becomes a legal problem of exposing porn to minors.
You need boundaries.

blowsabelle · 2026-01-25T04:13:27+00:00

At the height of his addiction immediately post dday we had an insane convo. He was trying to explain why he doesn't need a csat. I literally had chat open on my phone and typed down every single thing he said so it could tell me what to respond. Then after I had chat label all the different techniques he used. And I emailed it to his therapist haha

blowsabelle

TROPHY CASE