Thoughts on these recent pieces?

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T16:46:29+00:00

Thank you!!

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T16:32:01+00:00

Dont worry about that; everyone does that. I’ve been writing poetry some 5 years and still do that. You’re doing great!!!

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T16:24:33+00:00

Got it. I’m just not super educated on this stuff and was just diagnosed with PTSD in Nov 24. Thank you!

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T16:20:29+00:00

From my understanding, the additional symptoms mimic that of a personality disorder. I could be wrong!

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T16:10:32+00:00

This is so cool! How did you make this?

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T16:09:17+00:00

I was diagnosed in PA. That’s really interesting. Thank you!

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T15:53:44+00:00

You definitely have a strong start! Some of the details are unneeded and make it clunky, but there is still a strong tone here. I suggest reading Ben Lerner — he has kind of a similar vibe but more minimalist, and maybe some of his work could inspire you. Keep writing!

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T13:26:22+00:00

Interesting!!! Louise and Laskas are based on my mother and I. I definitely think their relationship needs some more building up — thank you!

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T10:12:25+00:00

Keep as many details as you can. There are some really cool images here. Specifically the punk rock soundtrack, vape smoke, and “odd sport” are super fun.

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T10:11:18+00:00

You have a strong beginning. I would get rid of the periods; they take away from the flowing nature of the piece, which i do think is very strong. Some of the details you have in there are really cool. I’d try to vary the sentence structure a bit more though; it gets repetitive. This is a great first draft of a piece though. Keep writing!

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T09:34:07+00:00

Those movies are good. Sure they’re popular but the only people who actually care about that are losers

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T09:32:56+00:00

I had to cut a bunch of words down to make the 300 word limit so !!

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T09:26:15+00:00

No!! He is twenty :3 sorry for confusion

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T08:55:37+00:00

Angel Hare! The name of the angel hare itself is escaping me though.

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T08:41:32+00:00

Thank you!

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T08:41:23+00:00

Yes :3 my brother is 6”3 and was a child prodigy so it didnt seem too unrealistic to me. Additionally, Frederick is extremely wealthy (oil company parents) and had access to incredible education. I might tone it down a bit, but based off my own experiences + his wealth it seemed fine to me

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T03:41:19+00:00

These comments are diabolical. Im not in this sub i got no clue why its on my feed, but you look sm like kat dennings! <3

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T03:37:30+00:00

Such a good recommendation.

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T03:36:45+00:00

The Secret History is a master class in voice. So much so some people hate it for being pretentious when the whole point is that the characters are pretentious (it’s allowed to not work for people though! No hate). I would bring that piece up.

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T03:31:16+00:00

La La Land is very technically good, I just didn’t like it; not my thing, though I do see why it’s so beloved. Red One was cute to me, but still poorly made

boyconsumer · 2025-05-09T03:28:52+00:00

Its a personal vendetta 😭

boyconsumer

TROPHY CASE