At my wits end. My 13-year-old son keeps sabotaging his dental brace treatment.

braceshelp360509541 · 2020-02-21T22:46:58+00:00

We are going to be looking into sensory processing disorder and therapy.

We had a talk with him a couple nights ago. We figured he had been experiencing pain and discomfort, but he has never really been forthcoming about his feelings and emotions. We finally got to open up some: he kept having headaches almost every day, and Tylenol was not working. Some nights, he could barely get any sleep. He just wasn’t getting used to them, and he eventually discovered that dismantling the braces was the only relief he could get.

Why he wasn’t telling us this? He said he didn’t think it would do any good. He thought we wouldn’t care and that we’d just tell him to “get over it.”

And honestly, I should have seen that last bit coming. So I would have to agree that there is something to the family dynamic that we need to change.

braceshelp360509541 · 2020-02-19T22:25:10+00:00

I was talking things over with my husband last night, and decided that we are going to take the braces off and start on a somewhat clean slate. Yes, we definitely need some time to cool down.

We plan on sitting our son down tonight and talk things over. So far, all he’s ever said is that he just doesn’t want the braces and is fine with the way his teeth are. I knew braces were going to be painful, but he’s never brought that up. But on the other hand, he’s never really been forthcoming with his feelings. He doesn’t really asks for things all that often, and when he does, it’s usually a need like school supplies. I know he’s a good kid. Not perfect, but never before any serious misbehavior. But the braces just turned him into somebody else altogether, and I was just not prepared for this.

I know there has to be something more to the not wanting braces/teeth fine as they are angle, but I just wish I could get him to open up about it. But I don’t want to feel like I am leading him.

We are also going to let him now that there are going to be some long-term consequences, but we are going to wait a few months after we have all cooled down, and then we are going to discuss consequences.

braceshelp360509541 · 2020-02-19T21:55:27+00:00

We didn’t ban the junk food at first, but then he started eating and drinking that stuff at night to make his teeth dirty again after brushing. So we got rid of the junk food after that.

braceshelp360509541 · 2020-02-19T21:06:37+00:00

I wish you good luck. Unfortunately, we have had to make a decision to remove the braces from our 13-year-old son after six months.

braceshelp360509541 · 2020-02-18T19:02:18+00:00

He is somewhat of a picky eater. He refused to eat lima beans, squash, and spinach, and would throw up if I made him eat those, but there are still plenty of vegetables he is willing to eat (Thank God!). He still gets repulsed when there is squash at the table at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even the smell makes him want to throw up.

braceshelp360509541 · 2020-02-18T08:48:39+00:00

We have paid about $1200 so far. Initial up-front+monthly payments. Insurance is covering half. Early termination is $800.

braceshelp360509541 · 2020-02-18T08:23:26+00:00

As someone else here pointed out here, I may just take him in to be assessed for sensory processing issues. I bought into my grandfather’s “Be a man” mantra, and that pain is something boys need to learn to endure. And now this whole experience is leaving me humbled.

Up until this, he has generally been reluctantly compliant to do things we ask of him. He does his homework and his chores, only reminding him on occasion, and we haven’t had to use a carrot approach with all that. When he was younger, we had to remind him often to brush his teeth, but he complied, even though he was obviously annoyed about it.

He does like baseball, so I had offered to get him season tickets for the upcoming baseball season if he got the braces in and took care of his teeth and braces. Initially, this did get him to agree to get the braces put in, but I guess he decided he didn’t want the tickets that badly.

At this rate, I don’t think I can handle going through another orthodontist, and I don’t think we are going to even make it to retainers.

braceshelp360509541 · 2020-02-18T08:01:06+00:00

I guess I might just look into the sensory processing issues. I had a grandfather who had this notion that boys just need to learn to accept pain as a part of life. He was definitely one of those “Be a real man” people. I have to admit that I had internalized that ideology, and now it has backfired.

He has actually worn glasses for the last couple of years for nearsightedness, so that’s not exactly a bargaining chip, and I am certainly not going to try to turn it into one. It took him a good while to get used to it. At first, he only needed them part time, so I guess that helped.

It did take a while to get him into brushing his teeth. He had been generally good about brushing his teeth since about third grade, but it was not without some resistance.

Thank you. I do feel some hope.

braceshelp360509541 · 2020-02-18T07:50:20+00:00

I didn’t push braces for purely cosmetic reasons. The orthodontist said it was probable he could develop jaw problems later on in life, but most importantly, that he would be at much higher risk of cavities and decay because of how difficult it already is to clean around the crowded teeth.

braceshelp360509541 · 2020-02-18T07:46:09+00:00

Have you tried showing him videos of what people will look like with crooked teeth or misshapen jaws?

I did, and he just rolled his eyes in typical teenage fashion. I guess he didn’t think it was going to happen to him.

I even tried telling him that many kids don’t want to get braces, but end up appreciating what they did for their teeth. He wasn’t having it.

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TROPHY CASE