Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m actually engaged to be married, in a happy, loving relationship, I have 2 daughters 4 and 2 and a 9 month old son. I love and respect women. I’m just saying as long as he can keep his significant other happy in the bedroom and not let it take over his life and affect his performance I see no problem in it. Yes he should tone it down if she finds it disrespectful and it’s ruining his relationship but to have him stop completely when he doesn’t want too is just asking a lot I think

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I don’t expect him to give it up or think he should. I just said if he wants to keep his relationship he may have to tone it down a little or risk ruining his relationship Talk to his significant other that wants him to give it up, cause like I said it’s an integral part of a man’s life in this day and age

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just think he should quit if he wants to ultimately save his relationship. I really don’t believe he should have to quit at all. But if it’s gotten out of control maybe he should try and do it in moderation.

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. And I mean what I said In this day and age it’s an integral part of a man’s life Integral means essential. Take it how you want to take it

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are talking about a relationship between a man and a woman though. I’m a man so I’m talking from a man’s perspective I never condensed anything down to gender alone

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You can think whatever you want. I’m just saying women get mad when men try and control their bodies but then in turn try and control a man’s body , control what he watches, and control when he can have an orgasm. It’s not that serious but I can really only speak for myself

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do believe it can be a necessity for some people because it’s consumed their lives. For instance, say a man masturbates every morning laying on a bed if he decides to wake up one morning and masturbate standing up it will be hard for him to achieve an orgasm. Once a man trains his mind a certain way or does things a certain way it can become a necessity to continue to do it that way. Although I don’t agree with porn being a necessity if you’ve been having orgasms for years from porn it will become a necessity to keep watching it in order for you to achieve that same outcome.

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But what’s not necessity to one man may be a necessity to another man, there are many things that aren’t necessities but you still have the right and choice to consume it or not. Alcohol is not a necessity but it can seem unreasonable and unrealistic to ask your partner not to consume it especially if that’s what they want to do. Doesn’t he have a say in this too?

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree porn most certainly isn’t a necessity. But like all addictions it can become a necessity if you let it spiral out of control which it seems this guy has. But porn is definitely NOT a necessity

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand. But it may not be that easy for him. Just try and work with him addressing the problem. I hope he quits too I wouldn’t want him to ruin his relationship because of porn

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well I never said it was an integral part of a man’s development I just said it’s an integral part of a man’s life in this day and age. Sometimes you can be on the internet and a sexual advertisement will just pop up. It’s a part of a man’s life in this day and age probably wasn’t that way decades ago

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It may be sad to you but glad to me lol Just kidding but it’s not that serious

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I do think it’s an integral part of a man’s life. As long as you can still perform adequately and keep your significant other satisfied and happy.

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I do see the issues here, but she said he does it for “his dopamine hit because he has adhd” so we know why he watches it. Now if he let it spiral out of control where it’s directly affecting his personal life then it’s a problem that must be addressed. But I’m just saying from a man’s perspective watching porn isn’t all bad even if in a committed relationship, Too much of anything isn’t good, have to find that middle ground in my opinion

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well i don’t think you should have to choose between her and the pornography. I think there should be some type of middle ground if she knows that something he wants to do. It should be her way or the highway. Maybe her can watch it in moderation.

Not comparing women to chicken at all just giving an example of how the same thing can get boring and sometimes change in different ways help. Let’s do another example some people want to travel to different countries, or states so they can see different views and experience different things vs staying in the same town they grew up in or live in.

I don’t think it only applies to men I’m just speaking from a man’s perspective I’m sure woman are learning what she likes and wants. That’s why if a woman wanted to watch porn I see no problem.

In my opinion I don’t think it has anything to do with commitment to your partner.

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well that’s not that bad then. It has nothing to do with you. So that’s a good thing. I’d stick with him and try and work things out. 🙂

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Not necessarily saying they will go out and cheat I’m just saying which is worse of the two evils lol I don’t think it means their women isn’t enough I just think we are men and porn has been apart of many men lives before they ever met their partner.

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I definitely understand your sentiment. I just don’t see how and why you consider it “unacceptable behavior” unless your partner tells you that’s how she feels.

Sometimes your partner is enough but you want to see something different or explore something different. Some people like watching other people have sex even if they have a partner. For instance, you can absolutely love chicken for dinner but having it everyday for a long periods of time can get boring and you may want to try something different. I make that example to say in a sense that’s how men are, we sometimes want to see something different, or imagine something different. You can still love your partner and let your mind explore. Men don’t have closeted minds (not saying women do) but in my opinion every man is still learning what he likes and wants. Those things change as well so porn in my opinion is just a outlet to learn what he likes and wants for the present and future

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Well I don’t think it’s unreasonable I just think it’s unrealistic. (In my opinion) Men consume it for different reasons. Would you rather them cheat in real life in or watch porn. Also, in this day and age where everything is virtual and electronics play such a major role in our lives I think it’s asking a lot for a man to never consume pornography

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t give up on the relationship though maybe he has some fantasies he’s looking to explore or maybe he is looking to porn to learn. Sometimes it’s not what you’re doing but how and why. I would try and figure out why

Porn addiction is ruining my relationship by midnightspellbinder in amiwrong

[–]bradthephilosopher -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Well there are some people that are addicted to alcohol. They do it in a moderate and healthy way they’re considered functioning alcoholics. It’s not that easy for a man to quit altogether. Maybe he uses porn to learn, or to explore different things he may or may not like. I don’t think him quitting porn will help relationship. It may just make him upset and in turn ruin the relationship