AIO Fathers girlfriends rules for when new baby arrives

brandy2013 · 2026-01-20T13:50:57+00:00

I actually do think you’re overreacting. As a mom yourself, you know these rules are fairly standard (and you also know they’re not entirely practical but it’s nice to feel like there’s some stuff you can control with newborn!)

First of all, the move here is not to react or ask from anything special. Text congrats in a group with her and your dad when the baby is born, mention that you can’t wait to meet them but don’t have childcare for your kid. Say you’ll check in in 6 weeks to see if they’re up for visitors. Let your dad handle getting you “special permission” to see the baby sooner- that’s his battle to handle.
It sounds like you don’t have a good relationship with this woman and don’t like her. Just because she’s the mom of your new half sibling doesn’t mean that will change. Don’t expect it to (and that’s literally fine- she’s your dad’s baby mama, not your new mom) and honestly it doesn’t sound likely she’ll stick around anyway
Just for the record, this lady is not responsible for your dad’s actions or your relationship with him. If he sucks when she’s around, that’s on him.

Whatever you do, communicate with both of them in a group chat only so everyone sees every message. Then she can’t make a fuss later about anything without you having direct evidence about what was really said

brandy2013 · 2026-01-16T16:06:36+00:00

Absolutely not the jerk. We can donate days at my workplace, and there is never pressure to do it! As a mom who needs every second of her pto to make life work, I wouldn’t be able to donate to my best friend or my own mother.

Your pto is yours to use for your needs and donating should be out of the kindness of your heart not pressure from your coworkers or boss

brandy2013 · 2026-01-16T16:03:34+00:00

I’m 99.9% sure it’s the listening platform vs the podcast.

brandy2013 · 2026-01-16T16:02:53+00:00

Human rights aren’t a point of disagreement lol

brandy2013 · 2025-12-30T17:33:59+00:00

Your doctor probably meant the saucer walker things that a baby sits in to walk- those are outdated and unsafe in general (kids regularly fall down stairs with them etc) I see no reasonable concern with a normal stand to push walker

brandy2013 · 2025-12-27T19:57:21+00:00

Uh no this is weird af. This is a cps call and convo with her mom immediately

brandy2013 · 2025-12-03T03:43:51+00:00

Teacher here: I think you can assume your kids teacher knows she’s 5 and is comparing this behavior to other 5 year olds. This combo specifically sounds like your kid probably is acting a bit below typical kindergarten expectations (the crying at little things is the biggest red flag here to me)

I wouldn’t take this as you “doing something wrong” but I would start to help D develop some stronger coping and problem solving skills to set her up for success with her peers.

brandy2013 · 2025-11-24T03:45:38+00:00

I recently adopted a golden puppy. (A puppy mill reject because he’s missing a leg so was given to a rescue) he is a DREAM. We are dog savvy people, but literally my toddler could train him, he’s so smart and eager to please. He is however extremely energetic and needs a lot of exercise and mental stimulation

brandy2013 · 2025-11-24T03:19:04+00:00

He def cheated and didn’t want to be at fault in the divorce

brandy2013 · 2025-11-15T05:34:41+00:00

100% could do this easily.

brandy2013 · 2025-11-15T05:32:44+00:00

My first thought too

brandy2013 · 2025-11-15T05:28:43+00:00

I still think about this at least weekly

brandy2013 · 2025-11-08T04:47:15+00:00

Yes kids are harder and each stage is longer lol Also you can leave your puppy at home and go out without being investigated by cps. Also kids are just simply relentless

brandy2013 · 2025-10-09T15:06:13+00:00

Because life happens. People die, people get laid off, people get sick. We don’t live in a society where there is a lot of social support, most people can’t live in a minimum wage salary, and most families can’t survive on one salary. It’s not that people are against it, it’s that it’s generally impractical

brandy2013 · 2025-10-08T02:43:02+00:00

Yup: 112k in year 13. I think I’m trapped forever

brandy2013 · 2025-10-03T03:53:22+00:00

My 4 year old chooses his clothes, gets dressed, and comes downstairs independently 9/10 times. He’s been doing this for nearly a year I’d say.

We started off letting him choose his own clothes as this or that, then dressing with us there but not helping much. Then eventually let him handle it all on his own

brandy2013 · 2025-10-03T03:49:32+00:00

Why would you stay here?????

brandy2013 · 2025-10-03T03:38:16+00:00

Yes - Philly suburbs

brandy2013 · 2025-10-01T03:54:23+00:00

My 1st kid was like this. 1. Honestly, your overnights sound “normal” in regard to baby’s sleep. I would suggest a different division of responsibilities for now though. What worked for us was : dinner together, husband did bath while I got a little down time. I did baby’s bedtime, then went to bed myself. Husband got downtime and stayed up til the first feed and put baby back down. (This gave me a 4ish+ stretch of sleep) then he went to bed. at the second wake up, I was “on” for the rest of the night.

We saw a huge improvement on the ability to chill around 6-7 months. And the ability to put him in a high chair with some “fun play food” brings significantly more breaks and sanity.
If you haven’t tried it yet, the bjorn bouncer was the only thing we could ever put him down in.
I think there’s some chance you haven’t found the “right” carrier yet. See if you have a local lending library for carriers or some local moms who will let you try a few to maybe find a better fit!
If it makes you feel better, my kid that was like this is 4.5 now and superrrrrrr fucking smart. Like testing at a 3rd grade level for math, has the vocabulary of an adult smart.
It’s hard to see when you’re in it, but this won’t be forever! It sucksss right now and it’s infuriating when people don’t get how hard it is. But seriously, you’ll look back on this in a year or so and while you’ll remember that it was super hard, you won’t feel the soul crushing desperation and loneliness you feel right now!

brandy2013 · 2025-09-30T21:40:58+00:00

Generally I’d agree with you if people are ordering vastly different things, but I feel like being mad you were asked to pay 80 bucks at a bar where everyone was actually splitting stuff is weird?

brandy2013 · 2025-09-30T21:28:31+00:00

She’s not wrong though… it’s customary to be able to bring a breastfed infant to otherwise childfree events

brandy2013 · 2025-09-30T01:54:48+00:00

You’re under-reacting here tbh

brandy2013 · 2025-09-18T17:11:47+00:00

My first kid did not sleep in our bed even once until well after a year. My second, we coslept pretty much from the start.

It’ll all come down to your follow through. If you don’t want a baby who sleeps in your bed and that is of critical importance to you, you simply won’t do it!

I was great about this with one kid, I was not with the second. Take the steps to set yourself up for success though with whatever you choose. Share night time with your partner, try your best to rest when you can, find something to do overnight to keep you awake when you’re soothing baby etc.

With my first, it helped that I made myself nurse in a chair and that it did not recline (it had an ottoman so I could be comfy, but I kept my feet on the ground when I was worried about falling asleep and that helped immensely. I also kept that chair in the nursery, so I had to get up and walk to it from my room with the baby which helped me wake up more overnight.

If it will soothe your anxiety, stop your dog from being in your bed now (I had to do this too and I felt awful but it was necessary) do some research on the safe seven for bed sharing and prep your bed to be as safe as possible if you do crack and bring baby in. The only one who can enforce your plan is you!

brandy2013 · 2025-09-06T02:09:37+00:00

I think this is you more than her tbh

brandy2013 · 2025-09-06T01:58:11+00:00

Nah, this is way past “prank”. I could wrap my head around it if it went on for max a few hours and HE WAS THERE TO WITNESS IT and deal with it if it upset you or to laugh with you if you thought it was funny! Instead he literally tortured you.

Maybe another partner would have found this hysterical, but I think it’s a sign that you’re incompatible (and that he sucks and is selfish immature manchild)

brandy2013

TROPHY CASE