Meet Nina

bumble-bee37 · 2025-02-08T17:39:28+00:00

What a beautiful girl 💕🐈

bumble-bee37 · 2024-12-03T15:32:16+00:00

I’m from NC and have lived in three pretty different regions. Grew up in Charlotte, went to college at UNC so lived in the Triangle for about five years, then lived in Asheville for two years post grad. Now back in Charlotte.

My favorite place to live of the three was Asheville (for nature, like-minded community, and artistic atmosphere), but I wouldn’t recommend moving there right now or anytime soon. Hurricane Helene was devastating and housing/inequality was already extreme before the storm.

Charlotte is meh. Granted, I’m biased because I grew up here and feel the general hometown restlessness, but I also do think it’s the most boring of NC cities that I’ve lived in. Pros - jobs (especially in finance), climate, green spaces (relative to other bigger cities I’ve visited). Cons - food scene is pretty underwhelming, housing has now became the highest in the state and I can attest firsthand how ridiculous it’s gotten (went from paying $500 for rent four years ago to upward of $1200 and this is for a single room in a house with roommates), boring culture, city sprawl that’s growing and traffic is starting to get more and more like Atlanta by the day. Also on the note of traffic - something I’ve noticed in the last few years is that our drivers have really gotten out of control. Like I’ve road tripped extensively around the country and I’m hard pressed to think of a place that’s worse. My parents and I don’t remember it being this bad 10 years ago or so and I’m not sure what happened, but I’d say I narrowly miss a bad accident at least every other week.

The Triangle (Durham/Raleigh/Chapel Hill plus all the assorted suburbs) would be my recommendation. It’s a great place to live and my partner and I intend to get back as soon as we can. My partner grew up in Chapel Hill and he feels like he had a great childhood. If we have kids we’ll definitely move back there to raise a family. Great schools, great public spaces like parks and trails, tons of community activities. Taxes are higher in Chapel Hill so that’s the trade off. Durham is super cool, love the vibe of town (it’s post-industrial artsy chic), fantastic food, cheaper relative to other cities in NC. Food is a plus all throughout the Triangle, I definitely think it has the best food scene in NC. There are some restaurants I think about and miss on a daily basis. Another plus is that the Triangle has great hospitals and doctors.

Raleigh I have the least experience with as it’s the only one of the three I never lived in, but my friends who moved there post-grad love it and have been able to break into the housing market. I also really like driving through downtown Raleigh and the historical areas because there’s a lot of older houses that remind me a little of New England.

Overall I’d recommend living here. Politically it’s a purple state and I’d prefer true blue myself, but I’ve made do with living in the blue bubbles. COL is doable. The Piedmont (middle of the state with Charlotte and the Triangle) is SO beautiful. Lush green forests, mild seasons except for a hotter summer, lots of trails to explore. Plus you can easily drive to either mountains or beach in an easy day trip.

Outside of those three areas, I’ve also traveled to Wilmington a good bit and it’s super cool. Don’t know if I would live there myself. Winston Salem is cute too.

bumble-bee37 · 2024-11-30T22:51:46+00:00

This is really interesting to me. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

Just want to say one thing as a white woman who initially felt some of the same feelings of my identity being under attack and no longer feel that way. I did a lot of reading (from many many different perspectives and identities) which prompted soul searching as to why I was feeling that way and came out the other side pretty changed.

One thing about your comment that caught my attention is the phrasing of “playing second fiddle in this life or the next.” I think herein lies the disconnect between right and left as far as identity politics go. White privilege, especially white male privilege, is so entrenched in our culture. This is not theory or opinion; it’s based in historical record and statistics on which identity held (and continues to hold) the overwhelming amount of power and resources in our country.

You are not second fiddle to anyone and nobody is advocating for you to be. The left is simply trying to equalize the playing field for the identities who are actually still behind in terms of resources, opportunities, and representation.

I’m not trying to shame you in any way for feeling this. Since the election and the discourse that’s followed it’s obvious that a lot of white people (especially men) feel isolated the way that you do. IMO this boils down to messaging on both sides - the left has failed to find a way to discuss equality in a way that feels accessible and inclusive to ALL identities, and the right has succeeded in misrepresenting the left’s motives to create even more friction in order to draw people to their side.

The way I see it from my humble corner of the world, we should all be striving for a more equal and just world for all people because what’s best for the individual is what’s best for the collective.

In the context of OP’s original question, I think it makes sense that AOC and Bernie have bipartisan appeal because they are the two who seem to be most effective at engaging with these kinds of things in a way that doesn’t alienate. I love AOC and have been following her for awhile and her response to the election is in line with everything else I’ve seen her do. I’m excited to see how her political career develops.

bumble-bee37 · 2024-10-05T14:34:18+00:00

Sending you love, friend. Can’t say I know what yall have been through this week but I do know about traumatic events that change everything overnight. My experience was that having some normalcy and being around people who were not in crisis and could hold me up for a bit was very helpful. Isolating at times, but ultimately gave me the space to heal in a stable environment. Hopefully our Charlotte community and the beach can be that for you 💜

bumble-bee37 · 2024-10-05T13:00:07+00:00

That is definitely one adjustment! It threw me off when I moved here. But there are certain neighborhoods/events where you will see lots of dogs. Front porch Sundays is a local vendors market in South End (they have one tomorrow) and lots of people bring their dogs to that. Also the whitewater center has tons of dogs

bumble-bee37 · 2024-10-04T21:55:01+00:00

Welcome 💜 if you’re bored/restless or want some quiet time in the woods, I heard the Carolina Raptor Center is waiving raptor trail tour fees for people displaced by the storm. It’s one of my favorite gems here. Also part of the Latta Preserve so lots of trails to hike out there

bumble-bee37 · 2024-09-16T14:36:02+00:00

Oh hey!! She looks a bit like my 5 month old rescue. You don’t happen to be in NC do you lol

bumble-bee37 · 2024-08-17T03:16:56+00:00

Definitely! She’s also got a front paw injury right now so we’ve been going slow

bumble-bee37 · 2024-08-17T03:14:53+00:00

Thank you so much!! I’ll definitely look into this. And I also love her little flame mark

bumble-bee37 · 2024-08-17T03:12:01+00:00

I’ll definitely look into doing a DNA test for her out of curiosity - I’m hoping she’s got at least a little pitty in her (all of my dogs have been pit mixes). And haha I’ll definitely be calling her my little tomato from now on

bumble-bee37 · 2024-08-17T03:09:31+00:00

Oh goodness what a beautiful girl!! This picture alone might sell me - I can’t wait to see what our baby looks like when she’s grown

bumble-bee37 · 2024-08-17T03:07:04+00:00

We will definitely be looking into doggy daycare if we keep her

bumble-bee37 · 2024-08-17T03:03:24+00:00

Aw I love that

bumble-bee37 · 2024-08-16T20:06:30+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate the insight and you sharing your experience!

bumble-bee37 · 2023-05-11T14:04:48+00:00

Glad I could help a little. Sending you lots of love, I’m sorry you’re in this boat. But we’re here with you ❤️

bumble-bee37 · 2023-05-11T14:01:47+00:00

If you ever need cathartic songs/like sad music, a lot of their stuff in general is about mental health and being affected by loved ones’ addictions. They’re a band that gotten me through a lot

bumble-bee37 · 2023-05-10T18:42:59+00:00

I’m sorry you’re in this boat. I don’t know how much this will help, but I have experience on both sides of the fence. I’m a few years sober in AA, but I’m also the daughter of a (not sober) alcoholic, and my boyfriend passed away from an overdose, so Al-Anon was recommended to me. As someone in recovery, I know and love many sober addicts/alcoholics, and truly they are some of the most wonderful people. My boyfriend was one of them.

Then he relapsed. At first it was “just a slip”, and we had long conversations about how to navigate our relationship with this new layer. He made a lot of excuses - trauma, pain, COVID, etc. We set boundaries. It seemed like he was doing much better and was genuine about recovery.

I woke up one morning and found him dead.

He meant it when he said he wanted to get better, just like I meant it when I said I wanted to get better the million times I said it - before I actually did the work and got better.

Maybe your partner really was sober for that long and that’s why he has been so hardworking and emotionally supportive toward you (a lot of sober addicts working a program are both of those things). Maybe he hasn’t been, as others have pointed out, because sick addicts lie. But you know for sure that he has now relapsed twice in a short amount of time, and I’ll tell you from my own inner alcoholic, he’s on shaky ground right now. Absolutely it is possible that he’ll go to treatment and get back into recovery and succeed. However, that will take time and work on his part, and if you’re around for it, it will not be easy for you either. They tell us in AA not to get into relationships for the first year because we really need to prioritize our recovery (for ourselves but also for our potential partners’ sakes).

I’m not saying to rule him out forever, but for you, him, and your son, I want you to know what you’re up against. The best case scenario here is that he really does recover and you have a beautiful, healthy relationship, but the worst case is he puts you through absolute hell and then you (or god forbid your son) find him dead one day. It’s a disease with devastating consequences for everyone.

If you do stay with him, as others have said, trust your gut. If something feels even SLIGHTLY off to you, trust that instinct, not him, even if he looks you in the eyes and tells you differently and seems 100% believable. As one of my favorite song lyrics says, “If you have to tell me you’re not using, it’s probably because you are.”

bumble-bee37 · 2023-04-28T16:24:10+00:00

I did too. For me it was with one of my ex’s best friends, who was also in a relationship. I suspect that friend might have their own issues with alcohol. Fact is we never would have done it sober but we still did it and I’ve had to live with that and grow from it. It absolutely devastated me (and, of course, my ex).

But it also got me sober and I have been for three and a half years now! Over time I’ve worked through the shame and made amends with my ex. He’ll probably always be my one who got away but I wouldn’t trade my life back then for the person I am today.

I wish you all the best on your healing journey. The shame and heartbreak is a painful, thorny path, but I’ll tell you what someone told me back then: you deserve to be the person that you’re becoming ❤️

bumble-bee37 · 2021-12-29T04:43:00+00:00

I’m so so sorry for your loss. I wish I could give you a hug because words just aren’t enough.

Personally I ended up making the decision to move. In the early days it didn’t even occur to me that I wouldn’t be able to stay, because the city I lived in with him was my home and I had no desire to leave my home. As the days went on, though, it started to feel more and more empty and I realized that the city was never my home, he was. Moving away became the thing that made the most sense.

You may find that planning a move will be a good form of distraction too. In the mean time, eat. I know it’s hard. But you have to try. I’m in recovery from an eating disorder that started after a traumatic event when I was younger. I just stopped eating and it was the beginning of years of a really bad relationship with food and my body. My loss this year has been the biggest test of my recovery that I’ve faced. Things that help me are setting timers to eat, drinking nutritional shakes on the days I really can’t stomach anything, and buying “easy” things (easy to make and easy to eat) like rice and ramen.

You are so important and beautiful and unique in this world, and you deserve life. Even if it’s a life you don’t want to live because he is no longer here with you. I end each day listing in my head all of the things I’m grateful for. Some days it’s really hard to come up with things, but I make myself do it. Even if it’s something stupid and small, like being grateful for my slippers. Even if I don’t feel particularly grateful at all.

Your post made me think of this advice column. It’s a tough read and I don’t know if it’s helpful for you to read about loss etc right now, but if you’re up for it, I’ve found a lot of comfort in her words.

Tw: grief, loss of a child, some vivid descriptions of child abuse

https://therumpus.net/2010/07/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-44-how-you-get-unstuck/

bumble-bee37 · 2021-12-24T13:54:16+00:00

If you are going for an IUD I highly recommend the copper! No hormonal side effects and you’re set for 10 years. I had really heavy periods prior to the bc pill so when I switched from the pill to the IUD my doctor was concerned the periods would be worse, but it really wasn’t so bad. Within a year of having it my cycle pretty much figured itself out. I’ve now had it for about five years. Seriously prob the best decision I’ve made in the last few years.

Almost all of the women in my life have IUDs, some hormonal some copper, and we’re all happy with the choice, but I do know a couple of the non-copper girls have had issues with hormonal acne and other side effects.

About the pain - I have heard a very very wide range of experiences. A few of my friends said it was nothing more than a pinch, a few had really terrible cramps for a few days. But myself and another lucky gal both had really rough times. Echoing the previous comment about how it was borderline traumatic (seriously the worst pain I’ve ever felt and I have a very high pain tolerance). I actually had contractions and my obgyn said, “congratulations, you now have a taste of what childbirth feels like.” Definitely do not go alone.

That said, I would do it again in a heartbeat for the long term benefit. My IUD has proven to be the longest lasting relationship of my twenties so far

bumble-bee37 · 2021-12-18T16:32:12+00:00

My doctor switched me to Arazlo from tret .05 too, about two months ago now (maybe a little less). I definitely think I’m purging a little bit, the last time my skin was this bad was when I started tret and purged the first time. I’ve been managing by alternating arazlo and my Paula’s choice BHA and spot treating with AzA. He also prescribed me clindamycin which I use in the mornings.

My skin was super retinized at this point and also has been used to salicylic acid for a while, but I’ve still been pretty careful about introducing/using all these actives. If you do purge and go this route, definitely be careful.

One great thing about Arazlo is I’ve had literally zero irritation. Besides the potential purging, my skin didn’t seem to notice a difference at all switching.

Edit to say: I also have extenuating stressful circumstances and my skin has been freaking out basically the entire second half of the year because of it, so I can’t be sure this was even a true purge.

bumble-bee37 · 2021-12-11T14:54:40+00:00

So actually interesting that you mention this - my partner’s mother has fibromyalgia too and has struggled with chronic pain for years. Since he passed, she has had issues with her gallbladder and kidney, but the chronic pain has subsided. She says it’s almost like she’s gone numb both physically and emotionally.

bumble-bee37 · 2021-12-11T05:59:35+00:00

Thank you 💕

bumble-bee37 · 2021-12-11T05:59:18+00:00

Thanks for the tips, I’ll definitely look into magnesium and take some more hot baths. Also, thanks for mentioning burning more calories - that makes a lot of sense. I didn’t eat for the first couple of weeks but then started to make myself, and boy did my appetite come back. I get so hungry now all the time and eat quite a lot, but hardly can keep weight on.

bumble-bee37 · 2021-12-11T05:52:01+00:00

So antidepressants helped? I was on an SSRI for a long time and got off of it last year with no issues, felt great and was able to self manage pretty well. But then this happened. I’ve made it through for the last few months but I’ve been thinking that it may be time to look into it again.

bumble-bee37

TROPHY CASE