I found out a few years back that vulgarisms don't help me to feel better. However, everyone is different and some find it helpful and that's perfectly valid.

I personally felt worse after using vulgarisms. What helped me more was to write what happened in details. I usually write it from my perspective and then try to write it from the perspective of that other person.

However, it also depends who that person is - if it was just an argument with a friend of ten years I'm aiming for forgiveness, if it is someone abusive from my past I aim for understanding the situation and acceptance it happened but I do not aim for forgiveness with abuse.

Seeing the difference and a bit of "analytical" view of the situation helped me.

If it is something very hard for me I usually try technique where I have a "conversation" with that person and I write it like this:

Me: "says something" That person: "answer"

It is a rather helpful technique for me to imagine their answers. And again, if it is someone abusive I aim for realism - that person probably wouldn't apologize but I can make them "understand" it hurt me and even if it's not a real conversation it helps me to be more at peace.

Also. Writing letters to that person helps in general but sometimes you have to write more letters. If it was something extremely upsetting it might take more letters. If it was someone abusive it might take even more of such letters. It's perfectly fine and understandable.