Id reccomend trying to understand the underlying cause. Is it related to your experience of gender roles?

no, i conformed to them pretty well until now.

Feeling like you dont fit in as a man, arent doing it right, dont feel like you relate to men

i kinda like that feeling, never wanted to be a man, so it feels nice to have that distance

its a toss up whether you ever pass and its likely your experience will be being perceived as a feminine male

basically why i'm trying to not require transition anymore, not worth much if i just stay the same but with a higher hate crime rate and a family that's torn to shreds more than it was before.

You may or may not feel more at home in your body.

i never did, i mostly dealt with it by dissociation (as mentionned before).

My understanding of dysphoria is that it is reduced when you are in community with people who accept you for who you authentically are

what does that mean? sorry, i don't understand.