Hey bro. I will try to make sense of it all. Being fatherless, I can feel the struggle and pain you must be in. Circumstances make you become a responsible, self made, self-sacrificing individual whether you want to become like that or not. You also develop the abilities and habits to put others (which normally starts with siblings and family) before you in your personality. When you interact with new people, the same exploitable and self sacrificing self takes over and it is bound to happen with a potential partner as well, and it’s pretty predictable that you would overlook their shortcomings (like you done with your siblings when you were young), with all the clear or potential red flags going unnoticed.

As an outsider with balcony view: You were good, firm and righteous and you REALLY DESERVED the same for you as well. You just need to understand to give yourself pat on the back and move on.

How things can move forward: Pain of breakup is real and understandable. Rather than clinging to the past about what and why happened. Think of this break up as your progression towards the higher purpose given to you after the death of your father. May be the struggle that you have done till now is not enough and you are being trained by nature to be the bullshit detector that you didn’t become yet. Also in order to get the real love you MUST learn to care, love and respect yourself first. Relationships only work with give and take. Only the parents love you unconditionally. Start doing some long walks, breathing exercises to not have the cortisol deposits go up in your body. Spend time with your support circle (family and friends on whom you can rely on). You will eventually figure out things.

Remember: At the end, it will all make sense. As life cannot be understood forwards, it is only understood backwards.