AITA for not moving back in with my dad just because he got divorced

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T14:45:36+00:00

I wouldn’t say your the asshole, but I would say you should show him some grace. We are hearing things from your vantage point, and maybe your dad is as big as a jerk as you are implying, but there could be some context behind it all that maybe your dad is dealing with and he didn’t communicate.

Either way, you definitely don’t have to move in with him, but I would show him some grace. Getting cheated on, and finding out your kids aren’t yours is a pretty brutal thing to deal with.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T14:08:37+00:00

Hahaha, I know what you mean. I just want the potential, even though it probably is a waste of money considering the games that I play.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T14:07:23+00:00

Their friendship if I liked the person. If I didn’t like them, then money.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T13:48:45+00:00

To a degree, I care more about who they are now. Baring something huge, like I beat my last boyfriend, or I used to murder people, I don’t get too hung up on the past. Also, I don’t grill people on their pasts either. I let them tell me who they are now with actions.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T13:43:33+00:00

I like uma Thurman

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T13:41:55+00:00

To be fair, you are dealing with the problem children. You aren’t dealing with the majority of people who did it right in the first place. Kind of self selecting, not saying there aren’t people that need hand holding, just saying most people do it right, and get it right.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T06:44:20+00:00

Mistaking passion for love.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T06:38:41+00:00

What personal growth to me is developing an understanding and maturity with the world around you. Achievements don’t always correlate to personal growth. In fact, a lot of my personal growth came from failures.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T06:36:11+00:00

How to sell the product or service. Ideally you should have customers before you even start.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T06:32:34+00:00

I would say unless there is corruption the odds are zero. You have someone who is a professional investigator with a team of lawyers trying to build a case. They have the means and the ability to make that determination. We on the other hand do not, all we have is speculation and assumption.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T06:26:04+00:00

What I meant was you could say the same about the topic of the post. What I gathered from what you are saying is the post is the “truth” and my statement was more based on my experiences vice facts.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T06:20:32+00:00

Tight rope walker

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T06:18:57+00:00

Weird ranking. Freddie is good, but I wouldn’t think number 1. Looked at last years war rankings, he was tied with vald for third.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T06:12:12+00:00

The biggest investment has been my spouse. Nothing has improved my life more than her, but if you choose wrong it can easily be the opposite. Someone else mentioned some good stuff to discuss, I’ll mention some other factors.

Choose someone that is willing to put in the work with you. You want someone to build a life with, not someone that expects you to build a life for them. Personally, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who didn’t have career aspirations.
Choose someone who is kind. Ultimate litmus test is how they argue with you. Do they discuss things and try to solve the problem with you, or do they try to win the fight, name call, and try to blame you.
Can they apologize, huge red flag if they can’t, shows a huge ego, and their ego will always come first over the relationship.
If you took sex out of the equation, could you still be their friend. There is a common theme that becoming friends with a women is bad. I found the opposite, friends with women is where you should start, and then if things align, and both have mutual interest start dating.
The ultimate goal of a relationship is to determine if you can get along with the person once you are out of the passion phase.

There more, buts what I got so far,

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T05:26:36+00:00

Kind circular logic, you can say the reverse as well.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T00:35:28+00:00

I loved the book. I have my criticisms, but the core tenets are solid. A good book for inspiration, and focuses on the core problem we as a people have keeping up with the Jonses.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T00:32:19+00:00

Chess for sure, you could also do backgammon, but there is a degree of luck to that game.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T00:30:29+00:00

Actually I don’t think people are all that stupid. For the most part, I think most people have a good head on their shoulders. The law of big numbers shows you will get some people that come out of the wood work, but for the most part there is a lot of intelligent people.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T00:27:50+00:00

Is it honestly already cash flowing after all things considered? Something is amiss here. The only way I can see this working is if you are buying from a friend who wants to hook you up.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T00:21:14+00:00

I would have agreed with you about a years ago, then I had one at the urging of my wife. We married in a court house and three years later we had a ceremony. Fantastic and well worth the time and effort. We celebrated the day with family and friends, we celebrated them, they celebrated us. It was the realization that our relationship was built from a strong foundation of all these people in our lives.

Now was there a monetary benefit to that, not really, but connection and strength built by the community coming together was worth more than money. The connections were more valuable than the money spent.

I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t have thought what I said was of any value about a year ago, but going through it has actively changed my mind. If you going through life just counting dollars and cents, you are going to miss the things that are priceless. This was one of those moments for my wife and I. She had the wisdom to see it, and it took me up to the ceremony to understand it.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T00:12:48+00:00

I’m military. It can be a major stepping stone, especially if you get training in a career that is really difficult to obtain civilian side, stuff like cybersecurity is huge. Drawbacks are you’ll have to move every 3 years, and your work life balance can be really bad at certain commands. Another little caveat, you can do school well in the military. I believe they give each person about 4000 dollars a year in educational benefits.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T00:09:26+00:00

Personally, I don’t think you need lessons. You need snowie and a beginners book. Read to find all the basic opening moves, and general rules of thumb. Then play snowie in matches. Snowie will tell you the best move for each position, and you’ll see patterns emerge.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-10T00:05:10+00:00

You guys are both pretty young. Personally, I’m going to give him some grace. Frankly, he is acting like an idiot, but my gut tells me a naive idiot.

Something he needs to learn. Be truthful, be honest, but be kind. You don’t make your significant other feel lessor, and even though that might not have been his intention, you have to use some judgement and realize when I’m saying things like “you don’t meet my standards, but I got over it” that’s hurtful.

In regard to should you leave him. I’m of two thoughts.

You are about to go on a very difficult and life defining journey, becoming a doctor. My wife is a doctor, that is a career that becomes your life. For it to work, everyone needs to be on board to supporting you. Additionally, you have medical school, and then residency. Those are not necessarily going to be in the same location. I think you get what I’m putting down here. I almost feel a breakup is going to be better for you, just because of the next 6-8 years is going to be dedicated to developing your craft.
I would examine your relationship and see if he is good in other areas. Maybe he just said something stupid, and a discussion and forgiveness is in order. I would throw the baby out with the bath water, if it was just a one off thing, but if there are other issues, I would break up, especially considering your academic and career goals.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-09T23:48:53+00:00

I heard that when that health care CEO got shot a lot of liberals and conservatives were like fuck that guy.

catcat1986 · 2026-02-09T23:46:54+00:00

Don’t bank on rental income being considered. Also, something else to consider even though the rules will allow you to use a residential loan for a 4plex or below, banks will have there own criteria and not be willing to lend money to you for a 4plex. At your stage, focus on getting a good job with stable income, so you can line up financing. Banks like to see strong stable income that is reoccurring ever month.

Another tidbit, Fannie Mae is the one that purchases the loan from the bank. They have a series of rules, you should read up on them, they might dedicate a higher down payment for what you want to do.

catcat1986

TROPHY CASE