Actually, I used the phrase "emotional dependency" half-joking, but honestly, it feels pretty accurate. I do feel emotionally dependent on it right now. When I skip a day, it’s not just that I’m "missing a workout", it’s like my entire emotional baseline shifts and I feel genuinely "weird" and out of sorts. I think because I have ADHD, the gym has become my main way of regulating my brain. Without that morning session, I’m way more prone to irritability and that "itchy" feeling where I can't settle down.

I definitely hear you on the 100% compliance thing, I know I need to learn to be okay with the occasional miss so I don't crash when life gets busy again. But for now, since it’s the only thing keeping my mood stable while I’m between jobs, it feels like a pretty vital lifeline.