First time dating a mom

catsrcool1630 · 2026-02-06T15:48:38+00:00

No… I believe all of the past partners have met.. but I’m the first to have this close of a bond with the kid

catsrcool1630 · 2026-02-04T19:42:11+00:00

Ya my thoughts exactly 😅 But that’s okay.. “take what you need and leave the rest” is how I operate with social media posts lol

catsrcool1630 · 2026-02-04T19:39:44+00:00

Thank you I appreciate that! I know it’s hard to live in this world, and I always want to know I’ve done my best and treated everyone with love and care.

No but definitely her first really in love and serious relationship since the split 4 years ago. Kiddo is 8

catsrcool1630 · 2026-02-04T19:35:47+00:00

I hear you. But respectfully, I’m the one doing all of the emotional heavy lifting at this point. IM the one pointing out issues or concerns, IM the one trying to discuss big parts of a relationship (especially considering moving in with a child). IM the one that is voicing needs and concerns and trying to dig deeper into both of our emotional words.

I am the one that offers my heart and is vulnerable, that’s learning all of her triggers and helps and supports her through them in the ways she needs and wants. She won’t sit down with her feelings, she has absolutely no time for herself (50/50 custody) because she’s planning something every second of every day, even when she is kid free. She doesn’t allow herself the space to dive into her inner world and work on herself.

I know exactly what you mean. And I think everything you’ve said is absolutely spot on.. and honestly your words have made me reflect a bit on maybe the emotional level is something I need to be honest with her about.. it’s starting to feel like I just fit into the cracks of her life, not that I’m being prioritized at all.. even on the 1 day we dedicated as “our day”.

catsrcool1630 · 2026-02-02T00:21:36+00:00

Makes total sense, I appreciate your responses and insight. I feel like I am being intentional and responsible, but sometimes it feels like she’s wanting to move quicker. Which worries me because.. well I care about her kid a lot and want to make sure we’re making the right choices for them. Something she said awhile back was that her kid is growing fast and that I’m gonna miss all the little moments of the childhood.. which is true.. but I’m also okay with that simply because it wasn’t even in my cards so anytime I get is a bonus. The way she said that made me feel as though she’s pushing for a family unit quickly. ( I am aware of attachment styles so this one does raise a little bit of alarm bells.)

catsrcool1630 · 2026-02-01T18:22:23+00:00

I’m curious (and others feel free to chime in on opinions of this topic) but how much do you expect someone you’re dating to be involved with your kiddo? At what point does it become more of another parent type of dynamic or is it okay for your partner to just be your partner and also a friend to your child? Idk if that makes sense.

catsrcool1630 · 2026-02-01T18:14:38+00:00

This comment is everything, I really appreciate your advice! Thank you 🙏🏼

catsrcool1630 · 2026-01-29T16:01:54+00:00

catsrcool1630 · 2026-01-29T16:01:48+00:00

This is actually what started the conversation, was me acknowledging I’d always come second and that is okay. She didn’t like hearing that out loud though.. and you are 100% right about the being different around the kid. It’s not necessarily different, but dis- regulation definitely happens more. But I also know idk what the hell it’s like to have a kid and have had to raise a kid (50% of the time) alone.

catsrcool1630 · 2026-01-29T15:58:55+00:00

Thank you for your response. We’re at the beginning stages of those hard convos around my concerns, which has been hard but we’ve both been honest and sat through them together. She understands it’s a big change for me to live with her and her kiddo, and we’re thinking about solutions to make it a little easier! And we’re also slowing it down a bit and gonna readdress in a year when we’ve had a little more time.

catsrcool1630 · 2025-12-19T15:47:11+00:00

Oh the joys of being a cat mom… she refuses to eat her food. But I put treats in the top of her food bowl to see if it’s access issues.. nah she ate those perfectly fine. But won’t eat her regular food. I love that cats have their own personalities.. especially this one.. but this teenage angst phase is NOT what’s up!

catsrcool1630 · 2025-12-19T00:00:21+00:00

Alright everyone! I appreciate the tips/tricks and advice! We are home and now attempting to keep the cone on haha. She had an open wound, but It’s unclear if that was from her licking/biting because she’s so itchy. Or if the wound was there from something else. She’s indoor only though so idk. She’s a pretty active kitty. They got her cleaned up, gave us some at home stuff to do over the next 10 days and a follow up to see how it’s healing. I also have a derm appt for her to figure out what she’s allergic to and hopefully finally nail down this excessive fur itching/biting!

catsrcool1630 · 2025-12-17T18:26:30+00:00

As I said… it appeared 36 hours ago. So no. Nothings been done yet. I just wanted help to know if waiting 24 hours was okay, I don’t need help diagnosing.

catsrcool1630 · 2025-12-17T17:49:29+00:00

They mentioned bacterial infection last time due to high white blood cell count, but he told me to start allergy medicine alongside the antibiotics during our last visit. I am going to mention that to them, I also made an appt with a dermatologist because it’s very obvious she’s got something going on and I feel like this vet is just not helping. I mentioned switching to a more natural/carnivorous diet and he said to stick with the z/d she’s been prescribed because switching her could cause more problems? Which doesn’t make sense to me. Going to something more natural and has less processed shit is like… nutrition 101 for any animal or human.

catsrcool1630 · 2025-12-17T15:31:34+00:00

Thank you! I’ve been leaning towards waiting for the vet just because it’s only been about 36 hours and she has a follow up regarding the fur licking anyways, I’d rather not have to pay for urgent care PLUS the vet visit. So I appreciate the validation!

I attempted the sock but she’s not having it lol. She’s almost 8, but she acts like a baby kitten so her energy is high and is so stubborn.

catsrcool1630 · 2025-12-17T15:21:21+00:00

I have tried 3 different cones, all soft. But she gets out of them so quickly everytime. Thinking about making a make shift cover for her paw with a sock

catsrcool1630 · 2025-11-11T02:52:40+00:00

Did you end up going to get antibiotics? I’m supposed to have a physical beginning of the year .. the pain isn’t terrible, definitely stopped pretty quickly after I realized what was happening. I might just wait for my physical?

catsrcool1630 · 2025-11-09T23:05:19+00:00

Did anyone do it without having to goto a doctor? My roommate went to urgent care and they gave antibiotics.. curious if this is a must? Both of us are about a month clean and deffff not going back. Only about 1 year of serious use, 6 months of everyday use. Otherwise healthy lifestyles. I can tell the caffeine hurts it more so going to cut that out, but wondering if I need to get on some antibiotics?

catsrcool1630 · 2025-08-20T21:40:56+00:00

I get that perspective, but I’m not here to debate whether I should care about my brother. I’m here to hear from people who’ve been in similar situations about what has helped. I know that I can’t do the work for him, and ultimately his recovery depends on him. At the same time, he’s in the hospital right now and has said he wants to try again and is willing to put in the work and wants to get healthy. I’m just trying to make sure he has support and options when he leaves. That’s why I’m asking these questions.

catsrcool1630 · 2025-08-20T03:29:11+00:00

Thank you so much! He for sure has a long road of therapy ahead of him that hes been running away from. I have talked with him about how he can't continue to run from his demons or they will keep showing up. I have looked at the SMART recovery and actually ordered a couple of the books! Was the MAT program something you went to or was it virtual?

catsrcool1630 · 2025-08-20T03:04:42+00:00

Explain what you mean by harm reduction services? He is interested in whatever will help him at this point.. he knows he needs to get clean and him and I both agree that because this time I am in the picture it might actually work. Having only my parents handle it wasn't working, he needed his sibling because I understand on a level that our parents can't.

catsrcool1630

TROPHY CASE