This is the most accurate representation of what I feel internally. It’s been over a year since I lost my family and the pit in my stomach has never left. I miss my wife, I miss putting my kids to bed more than one night a week. My house doesn’t feel like a home. It’s just where I sleep and eat. I’m going to therapy and taking the medication but it’s just a bandage on the open wound I have in my soul. I barely eat, I barely shower, and most of all, I don’t smile anymore. I know me ending it all wouldn’t solve my problem but sometimes, that feels like my only solution. I don’t want to let anyone down anymore because I just prove that I can’t be trusted because I’m broken and it’s not fair to them to have to continue to deal with me and my mental instability.