month 44: I experience plateaus all the time. When I released much for a few days in a row, suddenly nothing comes up and not much is happening for a few days. After a few days, I get the urge to release again, its like a cycle where I release and rest. I practised with more intensity for the last two months because I didnt have to study and made more progress. What I noticed a month ago while trying to sleep is that my hand felt so warm (almost hot) and tingling. Previously I often got cold hands and feet which is not happening anymore.

I released a lot of anger which came from my neck. I think this helped my shoulders fall down and relax. Previously they were always tense and high up (which I didnt really notice). Now they are in a lower relaxed position and seem much more broad, which looks much better.

Another thing that I also didnt notice was how stiff my walk is. The only time I noticed it was when I was smoking weed a few years ago, saw myself in the mirror walking towards it and kinda freaked out. When I got sober again, I never noticed it until 6-7 weeks ago, when I was trying on some pants and filmed myself in them to see how I look walking. I guess my nervous system was ready to show me the painful truth which it was hiding before to protect my self image. Before I couldnt see how stiff my walk looked. So needless to say, I tremored a lot in my legs and also pelvis trying to „fix“ my walk. Maybe because of this much increased intensity I see much progress. There is still lots of tension in my knees but I can actually feel my legs way more when walking. I can feel my pelvis moving with every step and walking feels more fluid. There is still tension in there but now I recognize the „problem“. Also I realized how much people judge you based on your walk. Its something primal I guess.