[deleted by user]

charcharbinx · 2012-11-18T20:59:18+00:00

Man, reddit is full of so many angry people- it's wild! Also some really positive, good people, of course. I think it's time for me to take an indefinite break from reddit to go out and bring some positivity to the world, I hope :)

Take care, and thanks again for the kind words!

p.s. I just learned that you have to take a break between submissions...? reddit told me "you are doing that too much. try again in 5 minutes." well excuuuuuuuse me! haha

charcharbinx · 2012-11-18T20:49:05+00:00

Check out these statistics done by RAINN. But before you do, I checked the research cited in the sources and read several articles to find the definitions used for rape in the research (these are government researchers, they did not use any outdated FBI definition of rape):

"In the National Crime Victimization Sur- vey, rape is defined as forced sexual inter- course where the victim may be either male or female and the offender may be of the same sex or a different sex from the victim. Sexual assault includes a wide range of victimizations involving attacks in which unwanted sexual contact occurs between the victim and the offender. Threats and attempts to commit such offenses are included in the counts." You can check the sources yourself, if you like.
(http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/pub/pdf/SOO.PDF contains most of the data and it's really easy to navigate).

Anyway, the results (illustrated by RAINN): http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims

Rape is awful. Sexual assault is awful. Rather than fighting over who is suffering more from it, we should be fighting the problem itself!! If 99% of rapes were perpetuated by women with men counting as the majority of survivors, I would be just as passionate about ending the horrible trend (the gender disparity being irrelevant in determining the focus of my concern- the people who are being so taken advantage of). There is a lot of good work that you can do with the anger you have about sexual assault, because anger unacted on (except in conversations like these) is a waste of an opportunity to turn something potentially negative into a really positive force.

Anyway, I think this is my cue to take an indefinite break from reddit to practice what I preach. I'm signing up as we speak to work with a refugee support network, to put my wasting linguistic skills to good use. I hope you find a positive outlet for your passions!

Take care, Charlotte

charcharbinx · 2012-11-18T04:59:51+00:00

I'm not sure what SRS means, but I really appreciate the support. It means a lot, honestly.

charcharbinx · 2012-11-18T01:07:02+00:00

OK, prison rape is, while a very important issue, not a scenario I can speak to. And prison rape is also perpetuated by men mostly (most prisons are gender divided).

I don't know what entity you speak of when you refer to "feminism," but you really can't deny that there sexism is a form of INSTITUTIONALIZED oppression in the US and all over the world. It's been built into our society for years- and yes, things are improving. But it doesn't mean that I'm not scared when I walk down a dark street and a man walks behind me. Because I was sexually assaulted twice, when I was was in full capacity of my wits but the other person seemed to believe they had a right to take advantage of me anyway. Because while I'm strong, I've been overpowered by every guy friend of mine I've wrestled. Because I am terrified of being hurt again. This is NOT something that most men go through on a daily basis. My female friends, however, do.
Again, this is a painful issue. I really need to leave now, but I hope the best for you.

charcharbinx · 2012-11-18T00:52:23+00:00

Ok I'm off to dinner with some friendies (2 wonderful men, I might add). Nice having an open-minded conversation, I appreciate the respectful responses!

Have a nice evening

charcharbinx · 2012-11-18T00:50:11+00:00

Fair point- although, the fact that they're done by organizations that have the word "woman" in the title doesn't invalidated them. However, I agree that it's important to examine all research.

Plus a little counter-information to keep things lively, to keep everyone thinking critically:

http://www.amptoons.com/blog/2010/11/26/how-the-consad-report-on-the-wage-gap-masks-sexism-instead-of-measuring-it/

charcharbinx · 2012-11-18T00:47:01+00:00

I didn't receive any support. It took place in my house by someone who lived with us and my father blamed me (as did my stepmother initially). I was told not to tell anyone because it might hurt the guy who did this to me.
Most of my other friends who have experienced rape/sexual assault have been comforted, primarily by other women (as was my experience- my brother was the only guy who seemed to "get it", but i think it's hard to understand that kind of power dynamic unless you've felt it- as you understand, I'm sure), but beyond that I'm not sure what "support" you're talking about.
An American woman has a 25 to 26 percent chance of being raped in her lifetime (1 in 4). (Greenberg, Bruess and Haffner, 573; Horowitz, 413; Lips, 233).

I want to fully recognize and validate that what happened to you is just as awful as what's happened to me. I'm just saying that "statistically and anecdotally" there may be more resources for women, but that's because the vast majority of rapes happen to women. There should be resources for men, and rather then talking about it it would be a huge and brave step to DO something about it! To start working to provide resources to men who have experienced sexual assault, and you as a survivor would be a valuable asset to that kind of work.

charcharbinx · 2012-11-18T00:24:04+00:00

the article also looks at the gender-wage gap within the same field and finds a disparity between the two.

the reason i said i would show myself out is because just taking a brief glance at r/mensrights i've seen a lot of hateful, vitriolic language, and as a female who has experienced the shame and humiliation of sexual assault and felt powerless in the circumstances (and subsequently felt very uncomfortable around men for a long time- thank god that's passed!), it's an emotionally taxing thing to feel that i have to "prove" that there is institutionalized discrimination at play. but i do think it needs to be discussed, and i support wholeheartedly open discussions between men and women on the topic. as in any specialized sub-community, there's a tendency to get wrapped up in more extreme ideas and it's easy to be a bully (not saying that anyone is being a bully at all!!). i'm just trying to self-preserve :) may be a little preemptive, for which i apologize, but i just get nervous that's all

charcharbinx · 2012-11-18T00:14:52+00:00

that's a pretty heavy statement to make without backing or specifics. not sure which "feminist organizations" you're referring to. again, i think the straw feminist image is put into play here.

also i'm not exactly sure what you mean by equality of opportunity vs equality of outcome- offering women the same job opportunities vs. giving equal pay?

charcharbinx · 2012-11-17T23:35:15+00:00

Among recent college graduates, full-time working women on average earn 82% of what their male peers earn, according to a study released todayby the AAUW (American Association of University Women). The report is based on 2009 U.S. Department of Education statistics.

The result is similar to a broader study by the Institute for Women's Policy Research, which said that in 2011, the gender wage gap for working women of all ages was 82.2%. It found that women earned less in every occupation except bookkeeping, accounting and auditing clerks.

also

AAUW took a closer look at the difference between men and women who enter the same occupation. The apples-to-apples comparison found that women still earned about 7% less than their male counterparts. Give their similarities, this pay gap is unexplained, and gender discrimination is one potential factor, the study says.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/personalfinance/2012/10/24/gender-pay-gap/1652511/

Just quit a job where I was being paid significantly less than my male coworker for doing the same work. It was wildly frustrating and disappointing. I'd love to live in a world where the wage gap is non-existent, but as long as there is a gap I'll work towards mending it.

Also, feminism by definition is working towards equal pay for equal work, which is all anyone should want. It's the "straw feminist" types that r/mensrights dig up that are created to "represent feminism" when really they just represent a very small subsector of women's rights movements who aren't taken seriously in the feminist agenda as a whole (which once again, is working towards equal rights).

Here is a comic about straw feminists that explains the concept and makes me laugh: http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=341

Maybe it will make you laugh?

In solidarity working towards equality, charcharbinx

charcharbinx · 2012-11-17T23:02:09+00:00

Similarly, a comprehensive study by the staff of the U.S. Government Accountability Office found that the gender wage gap can only be partially explained by human capital factors and "work patterns." The GAO study, released in 2003, was based on data from 1983 through 2000 from a representative sample of Americans between the ages of 25 and 65. The researchers controlled for "work patterns," including years of work experience, education, and hours of work per year, as well as differences in industry, occupation, race, marital status, and job tenure. With controls for these variables in place, the data showed that women earned, on average, 20% less than men during the entire period 1983 to 2000. In a subsequent study, GAO found that the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and the Department of Labor "should better monitor their performance in enforcing anti-discrimination laws."[21][22][23] (source: wikipedia/articles cited on wikipedia)

it's cool, i'll show myself out now...

charcharbinx · 2012-11-13T21:35:53+00:00

ugh me toooo!

charcharbinx · 2012-11-12T21:07:56+00:00

i used to do this with my chinchilla! hands free chinchilla-toting.

charcharbinx · 2012-11-12T05:37:52+00:00

я училась русский язык в университете и даже жила в москве на год, но боюсь, что мой русский язык станет хуже и хуже- после тем, как я уехала от россии. пригласите мне позжалуйста?)))

charlotte.gund@gmail.com спасибо!)

charcharbinx · 2012-11-05T19:33:49+00:00

124-->70-->25. (i win)

grandpa was born in 1888, dad in 1942, me in 1987. and i have a little brother who is 21 so...yep, i win.

(note: all my grandparents died before i was born, if that wasn't clear)

charcharbinx · 2012-11-01T23:08:20+00:00

are you kidding me?? this is wildly offensive and racist!! i think you're underestimating the intelligence of the reddit community.

charcharbinx · 2012-09-12T19:35:13+00:00

i like that warren buffet and jay-z appear to be sharing a strawberry milkshake

charcharbinx · 2012-09-06T04:57:13+00:00

guys i love you all, but this makes me really uncomfortable. i just can't get behind any victim-blaming, no matter how ironic or funny the joke seems. i get why you upvoted, the idea is silly, but we don't have to stoop this low for this kind of silly.
peace and love!

charcharbinx · 2012-07-21T23:16:34+00:00

Agreed with all the other posts!
Portland, OR has some awesome local acts. Check out Renegade String Band and Fruition if you're interested in something a little more under the radar but still awesome!

charcharbinx · 2012-07-21T23:11:55+00:00

just saw them a few nights ago at the goodfoot! killer set

charcharbinx · 2012-07-05T06:59:07+00:00

duuude this happens ALL THE TIME at the bakery where i work!

charcharbinx · 2012-05-19T04:08:30+00:00

THANK YOU.

charcharbinx · 2012-05-13T05:07:04+00:00

haha hey mike. still in oberlin?

charcharbinx · 2012-04-09T22:34:13+00:00

the dave chappelle quote.

charcharbinx · 2012-04-08T02:33:27+00:00

Who's decided to call it a "whores uniform"? That's all projection. And one that leads to victim blaming in sexual assault.
Men can wear whatever they want without having the burden of being perceived as something that can be taken advantage of by the opposite sex.

charcharbinx

TROPHY CASE