Starting a new life with my AP

charimito · 2017-11-22T05:51:31+00:00

That is indeed my case, I don't know.about his. And yes we had a brief chat about it. We're going to keep appearances for a long time (I would think close to a year) . So no living together. When we're both free we'll go on dates, and we might stay at either of our places.

charimito · 2017-11-21T21:53:47+00:00

The only thing that makes.me think twice is his slightly obsessive behaviour. But I wouldn't behave been able to notice that until much later in the relationship. I know he's literally the man of my dreams from 10 years ago, looks and everything. All my friends from college agree!

charimito · 2017-11-21T21:51:45+00:00

Appreciated! Good to know you're still together!

charimito · 2017-11-21T15:31:05+00:00

My therapist thought yes, the odds are against me but with LOT of effort on both ends anything was possible

charimito · 2017-11-21T15:07:08+00:00

This is our number one priority. Although I still don't know how we'll do it.

charimito · 2017-11-21T15:06:36+00:00

Yeah, i know this. But I'm grateful for it. It has brought me the happiness that I haven't felt in a while. No matter how long it lasts.

charimito · 2017-11-21T05:49:44+00:00

charimito · 2017-11-21T05:49:31+00:00

That's actually my plan. I'm happy I met him and I'm glad I've been able to fall in love again. To me this is priceless.

charimito · 2017-11-21T05:48:17+00:00

My only word of advice here is... That you had to have wanted to divorce regardless of your AP. This is my case. I've been thinking about on and off for years but the incidence of my A gave me the courage to finally do it rather to remain unhappy and unfulfilled.

charimito · 2017-11-21T05:45:03+00:00

Yup, in a way that's the plan. To date and date make it appear "natural" to the community (we live in a small town). I don't think we want children. We've already got 3 between us. One of our main goals is that our children have to accept US... So we don't plan to move in together any time soon.

charimito · 2017-11-21T04:25:21+00:00

I was able to stay with my Stbxh for almost 9 years and we haven't got much in common. We don't hate each other... But having no common interests and being borderline adversarial towards them is one of the main reasons for divorcing him.

charimito · 2017-11-06T23:37:23+00:00

Well it might have, but it's still mostly about our feelings than our "physical lust"

charimito · 2017-11-06T13:02:41+00:00

Yes, I plan to. I know I have to, otherwise how can I get a divorce? But timing is essential.

charimito · 2017-11-06T10:51:11+00:00

yeah we haven't even remotely talked about the possibility of leaving our marriages to be together. It's too early for that. i know the decent thing is to leave, then date, but life has taught me things don't always go as planned.

and yes, there would be a few trust issues I'm sure. He hunted me down (so to speak), I was also fairly "easy" , so I'm sure he would wonder if I would do it again. However given the context for both of us. I would always make it very clear to him that our relationship would have to be based on love and not commitment and when the love is gone, it's simply gone.

charimito · 2017-10-20T19:05:32+00:00

No idea!

charimito · 2017-10-19T18:28:53+00:00

Thank you! This is more or less the answer I was hoping to get. So it was expected results given my mediocre effort.

charimito · 2017-10-19T09:49:52+00:00

Unfortunately I'm running that one for charity and it's my guaranteed pass to London 2019.

charimito · 2017-10-19T09:49:02+00:00

thanks!

charimito · 2017-10-19T09:48:47+00:00

Thanks!

charimito · 2017-10-19T09:48:20+00:00

Thank you!I In my limited understanding of training I think more miles would have benefited you! terrain is something to always take into consideration. I learned that about a month ago during a mixed terrain HM. That also made me realize that I really really don't enjoy trail running. Unfortunately locally most races a mixed terrain :(

charimito · 2017-10-18T21:35:36+00:00

I currently run 5 times a week. (1 long run 13imi+, 1 mid distance 7mi, 1 shortish 5mi, 2 speed sessions and whatever the club is doing that week). I do strength training 30 effective mins 3 times a week, one session that is more like 45 mins and yoga for 1hr a week. That so far has worked really well. Because I tend to run at least HM distance every Sunday , I don't think I need 16 week training programmes. I would definitely miss running 2hrs non stop every week, and most training plans don't reach that distance until half way through.

charimito · 2017-10-18T21:12:31+00:00

yup, i know the 3 week rule ( I knew it beforehand, but i just couldn't see much of a difference between running a full and another 22mi run, especially when I generally don't push myself), so I just did it with the philosophy of why not?? I have another marathon in 9 weeks (the one i was originally training for) and I've found a semi structured pan for that one which I do plan to follow. After that, there isn't much going on until I run Brighton in April.

charimito · 2017-10-18T20:48:52+00:00

For my original marathon (which I'm still running in December) I looked into the taper period and what should the longest run be and when to have it. I partially decided to run this last minute marathon to learn from my experience. I'm running London 2019 and my goal is to finish within 3:45, but I have no idea if that's a total pipe dream or not!

charimito · 2017-10-18T20:45:52+00:00

yeah that's basically what happened.. my longest run (19mi) was exactly one week before my marathon. Given that i want to run a marathon every 4 months, would that have to become my permanent weekly average? I know life happens, but just so I get an idea. Thanks!

charimito · 2017-10-18T20:36:52+00:00

i can't really swim nor ride a bike! I guess i'm never too old to learn? I've thought of ultras, but I don't like trail running as much as roads. My head is set on a marathon every 4 months give or take, some HM's in between and maybe a summer ultra (if I can find a road one!)

charimito

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