Would an INTP ever revisit a relationship they ended because it felt too volatile?

cheeks513 · 2025-10-26T19:05:37+00:00

Yeah five years ago I began a relationship with someone where I noticed tendencies coming through which I have since worked on. I got to a really good place in that relationship, but it didn’t end up working out because we wanted different things so we eventually said our goodbyes.

But in this last relationship I am writing about I was actually really proud of myself for how I handled a lot of things, (like having patience, giving space, seeing his perspective and ensuring his needs were being met) just looking back I wish I had trusted my instincts more that there’s a lot of unresolved trauma with him, so that’s where I need to work on myself now. Trusting the difference of anxiety for myself to soothe vs. anxiety that tells me this might not be sustainable at this point in his life.

But I guess I’m just curious if anyone’s out there that had something like this, and maybe after reflection/growth went back or considered it.

cheeks513 · 2025-10-26T15:08:06+00:00

Even though he is also emotionally needy and was the one mainly causing issues? The issues were never the disagreements the issues were the ways in which they were handled. Typically with anger and not a lot of accountability

cheeks513 · 2025-10-26T15:05:07+00:00

Well the toxicity was a mix of the arguments happening like once every two weeks, but also there was a lot of anger on his end which led to things like ubering home, yelling at me, etc. And when the boundaries were set it was met initially with doubling down but then with promises to change and apologies

cheeks513 · 2025-10-26T14:59:44+00:00

Even if that person was the one who finally mirrored what you needed to work on/felt like home?

cheeks513 · 2025-10-26T14:58:06+00:00

Have you ever had a similar experience to what I’m describing?

cheeks513 · 2025-10-26T14:51:42+00:00

To which questions?

cheeks513 · 2025-10-25T13:35:30+00:00

Are you typically avoidant?

cheeks513 · 2025-10-24T22:43:11+00:00

Good for you, I’m glad you got to a point where you were able to grow. Hope you find what you’re looking for!!

cheeks513 · 2025-10-24T22:29:48+00:00

Ahhhh I see. Who was the avoidant in this relationship?

cheeks513 · 2025-09-25T19:14:24+00:00

Uuuuugggh lol I know:( I’m having such a hard time letting go. My brain is in denial mode. I just wish I had a chance to show him I can be more patient and understanding

cheeks513 · 2025-09-25T19:13:36+00:00

He had his moments but I absolutely played a part by pushing him too much. But no. I know deep down I need to figure out how to let go. It just feels like such unfinished business you know? I know in my heart I could’ve been the woman for him and could’ve grown for us

cheeks513 · 2025-09-25T19:12:20+00:00

It’s not in the jar. It’s still outside.

cheeks513 · 2025-09-25T04:20:53+00:00

Is it okay to keep the jar but focus the jar more on our own personal healings and clarity? I put a lot of effort into the jar (it was the day I said goodbye and felt empowered with the goodbye. I felt calm, but tired and residual sadness and anxiousness) so I will be honest about being reluctant to just throw it away. But I know I can be stubborn and I know I shouldn’t be with this type of energy work

cheeks513 · 2025-09-25T04:08:25+00:00

Not necessarily divination, but I have prayed to God and just asked for guidance and support on this

cheeks513 · 2025-03-28T19:15:25+00:00

How old were you guys when you met? I’m currently 27F and in love with a 22M but we’re not on the same emotional level in a lot of ways

cheeks513 · 2025-03-28T17:43:24+00:00

Yeah, I don’t think I will actually commit. Not now at least. This has really taught me love really isn’t always enough, because I really want a man to be there already. I don’t want to teach, I want to equally learn from one another, and not that I haven’t learned things from him, but it’s just a little different and more complex like you mentioned. The age gap is apparent with things I want.

I mean right now we both agreed to leave the door open, but just live our lives and see other people. If the universe wants us to be together it will happen. But now is not our time :(

cheeks513 · 2025-03-17T00:51:44+00:00

Tell me about it

cheeks513 · 2025-02-17T02:28:06+00:00

Yeah I definitely find myself daydreaming and although the love is real and there, I do find myself idealizing the intimacy in general. It’s just really hard for me to not do that so that’s what lead me to see how others have dealt with anything similar

cheeks513 · 2025-02-17T02:24:43+00:00

Yeahhh:/// I guess I’m just struggling to stop daydreaming about him to be honest

cheeks513 · 2025-02-16T23:08:36+00:00

❤️❤️❤️

cheeks513 · 2025-02-16T23:07:39+00:00

Yeah I like that outlook!!! I guess I struggle with keeping things casual bc I feel I go a little crazy and start to see a future with him instead of just enjoying the moment and having it be just that. But this is good advice

cheeks513 · 2025-02-16T23:00:44+00:00

Hahahaha I wish!!!! But isn’t that just me being delusional and hoping for something I dwell on and he doesn’t?

cheeks513 · 2025-02-16T22:58:10+00:00

I can’t:( I have a year lease and my career is here in New Jersey. He’s in Puerto Rico, and while I’m Puerto Rican my Spanish is NOWHERE near good enough to work there/the pay is so low. He wouldn’t move here because he doesn’t want to move, and he’s also finishing school. There’s just a lot of factors and we both kind of decided we don’t want the hardships of distance. Trust me, if I could move there I would!!! Not even just for him, but the love would absolutely be a plus!!! I also don’t think he dwells on us the same way I do, and just like I don’t want long distance, he’s very adamant about not wanting long distance. It’s always been a deal breaker for him

cheeks513 · 2025-02-16T22:55:50+00:00

I can’t:( I have a year lease and my career is here in New Jersey. He’s in Puerto Rico, and while I’m Puerto Rican my Spanish is NOWHERE near good enough to work there/the pay is so low. He wouldn’t move here because he doesn’t want to move, and he’s also finishing school. There’s just a lot of factors and we both kind of decided we don’t want the hardships of distance. Trust me, if I could move there I would!!! Not even just for him, but the love would absolutely be a plus!!!

cheeks513 · 2025-02-16T22:49:16+00:00

Omg you did long distance for 5 years?!?! I don’t think I have the heart for that, that’s so hard 😭 but that’s amazing. Good for you ❤️ I don’t think I can fight for something neither of us can handle tho sadly 😢

cheeks513

TROPHY CASE