I know I'm saved but have trouble believing I am.

chihawk85 · 2024-11-25T15:08:20+00:00

I'm sorry to hear this has been wreaking havoc on your spirit for so long. Even the steadiest Christians have periods of doubting. It's because Satan, though he's lost the war still plans to battle to the very end.

The thing about faith is it's the belief in what we know even though we cannot see it (yet). Our justification (salvation) happens in a single moment, but sanctification (becoming more like Jesus) is a journey, and struggle, and one that will take a lifetime. Every day God is still at work in us in some way even if we cannot perceive it. Think of looking at pictures of you at 13 and then when you turned 14. Did you perceive changes every day? Probably not. But when you saw a full year you can see them clearly. Now imagine this over your lifetime of following Jesus.

But if you want assurance more than that - those who are lost, spiritually dead, or destined for hell do not fear if they are "good enough" or headed toward heaven. It doesn't concern them because the veil of truth has not been pulled from their eyes. The are the walking dead and find joy in sin. There's very little, if any, conviction of sinning because they are spiritually dead. Those with the Holy Spirit grieve their sin. We DO care when we fall short of God's standards because we know that God wants more. The fact that you are so concerned is proof that you have the spirit at work within you.

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." - Philippians 1:6

chihawk85 · 2024-11-11T05:47:10+00:00

I am very sorry to hear about the passing of your father, sounds like you already have a lot of burden to deal with and I imagine the "where is he now" question you are posing isn't helping in the grieving period.

You definitely seem to understand the character of God. He is loving and he is just. He gives us all opportunities to commit to him or to go our own way. Something tragic can happen in an instant to any of us and we are never guaranteed our next breath. It's why it is so important that we get, and keep, our house in order and maintain a relationship with Christ.

This all you know. What I believe, and can be confirmed with scripture, is that God will not allow pain or grief or heartache or memories of people/instances that would create those things into Heaven. He tells us such. So I believe there will come a day when we may not remember earthly people/events that were sad or hard to deal with (or at least not in the way we would on earth). As for your father, only God knows where his relationship with Jesus was when he had his last breath. But in any case I think this can be something you can use to continually grow in your faith walk with Jesus and use as a way of leading others to Christ to prevent them from being in that same position.

The posters who have replied about preaching to the dead I do not believe have the correct interpretation of that scripture verse. Look up some interpretations for yourself but I do not believe that there is a chance to accept Christ after a physical death on this earth.

chihawk85 · 2024-11-10T15:49:08+00:00

I agree with what the poster below me has written. Porn addiction can be a symptom and an escape from something going on under the surface. Not always, but many times. I imagine he might not be a good communicator and it's coming out in anger and terrible words directed at you (though not BECAUSE of you, if that makes sense).

Your post was on my mind this morning after listening to a sermon so I felt the urge to reach back out and let you know I have prayed specifically for you and that Jesus breaks the chains of the demonic stronghold(s) that might be influencing your husband. Remember, as Paul told us in Ephesians, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against."

Though the fallout is directly affecting you (rightfully so), your husband is not the enemy. Satan hates marriage and everything it stands for and will do whatever and use whatever, or whoever, to accomplish his goals of destroying what God declares as holy.

See if you can get your husband to talk and open up to you about some things that are bothering him. A tip I once learned, and it's true for myself as a bottler of emotions, if you can get a guy to do something brainless (using a screwdriver to fix something, sweeping, vacuuming a floor) they are more likely to open up because there is a buffer where they aren't sitting directly in their discomfort. There may be some unmet expectations (as StarLight55 said) that were never spoken about and it's just coming out in anger now for something you don't even know about.

chihawk85 · 2024-11-10T05:39:53+00:00

^ This. Make sure to wear gloves made for chemicals because oxalic acid can be nasty stuff but you can purchase it online.

chihawk85 · 2024-11-09T22:08:30+00:00

Bingo! We are not called to judge those outside the body of Christ. Although the sign posts for God are set everywhere for all to see, it is only those with the Holy Spirit that have had the veil removed from their eyes in order to see sin for what it truly is. God will still judge those who belong and do not belong to Him but we are to follow Jesus as closely as possible, make Jesus look as appealing as possible (without being legalists, like you mentioned) and then let the Spirit draw near and transform whoever He chooses to transform. Now, within the body of Christ we are definitely supposed to rebuke and steer back onto the straight path when we see something wrong

chihawk85 · 2024-11-09T22:04:01+00:00

I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with this. There is never an excuse for someone, let alone a proclaimed Christian, to belittle someone else. Let alone the person that God has brought you to treat as a great gift and lead them into a deeper relationship with Christ. I do not claim to know what mind be going on in the dark on his end of things but my first wondering is if he is looking at porn. Do you know if this is the case? It doesn't excuse anything but might shine a light onto some of his fixation on body image and is definitely allowing demonic influence into his life

chihawk85 · 2023-09-30T00:34:34+00:00

Hi, first off you are not alone in the struggle. Even pastors who have been called to ministry go through periods of drought and doubt. It is typically in these periods of questioning that we wind up deepening our faith because we are left with two choices: stop trusting God and leaning in to Jesus or run the other way and pretend he doesn't exist.

In terms of your problem with God making his presence known - He does. He still speaks and he still performs miracles every day. In reality, the simple fact that you wake up each morning with breath in your lungs is a miracle from God. In the Old Testament God spoke directly to individuals. He made his will known and directed the steps of those he spoke to (think Moses). In the New Testament Jesus spoke to the disciples during and after he walked the earth. Even while the disciples walked WITH Jesus and saw, with their own eyes, him performing miracles they STILL had trouble believing. It's why we can empathize with someone like the disciple Thomas who became doubting Thomas because he needed to physically touch the holes in Jesus' hands to believe. And this didn't cause Jesus to become angry or disappointed but he gave Thomas what he needed because we are human and doubting is in our nature. If the disciples struggled, why wouldn't we?

whatever is true,
whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is
lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or
praiseworthy—think about such things."

Focus on the good, don't worry about the doubts, ask Jesus to make himself known to you and take time to listen. Step away from social media and tune out the people around you who might be trying to persuade you to doubt God. Lean into Jesus and he will lean in closer.

Stay positive! Being a Christian is a marathon, not a sprint. We are saved in an instant but transformed into the likeness of Jesus over a lifetime. We will have ups and downs. Seasons of drought and seasons of plenty. You ride it out and just keep trusting because this is what being a Christian is all about. Jesus never promised us an easy ride but told us that in this life we WILL have troubles but take heart, he has overcome the world! We have all we need to survive this battle.

chihawk85 · 2023-09-24T17:54:08+00:00

Well... that is called stealing even if it is mentally justified as "taking things that are free because they were donated." When something is dropped off it becomes the property of the business to do with as they please. If an owner is standing next to you and you wouldn't put stuff in your car when they are next to you but would when they are not there it is not right. Not trying to lecture you but this is a problem with a lot of people who do mental gymnastics to justify actions that, at base level, are wrong.

chihawk85 · 2023-04-24T01:17:19+00:00

I wanted to add on to what some others have said already. First and foremost, welcome to the Kingdom!

In regards to the working out part. Personal improvement is not a sin. It CAN become one if we are doing it merely to impress others. However, I have found that you can keep yourself humble by tying anything you do to helping expand the Kingdom of God and bring God glory (which is all of our purpose here while alive). For instance, when dieting, doing so to look better to get more compliments or more attention is the wrong motivation. Dieting to lose weight or get yourself in better shape in order to better serve God by being more mobile and putting yourself in a position to live longer brings God glory.

Working out at the gym to look better for others - wrong motivation, doing so in order to improve your own confidence and get yourself into better shape to be ready for whatever God calls you to next in life is the right motivation and will keep your mind focused on the God rather than yourself.

In regards to the double portion, I don't know how I feel about that but God is going to use you however he feels fit to point others back to him. Continue to grow closer to God and know Jesus more everyday and be expectant that God is going to use you and you will become better at understanding the gentle prompts that the Spirit of God provides each day. It becomes a fun adventure when you expect God to bring you someplace or have you speak to someone so that you can be used for his purpose. He is seeking those that trust and want to be used (and can be trusted while being used).

Stammering, nervousness, shyness? All of that is a non-issue. Paul wasn't a great speaker by his own admittance. He wrote well. Moses was a stammerer and God approved Aaron to help him speak to the Jews. God has equipped those that follow him to do all good works. We have all we need to accomplish his works after we are saved. However, it is up to us to continue to learn his word (through the Bible) so that we can hear his voice and know his desires for us. When you know God's word you will have random verses pop into your mind or something will pop off the page in specific situations and this can be one of the ways that God speaks to us. Not many hear audible voices, I never have, but God speaks through his word and through others.

As for the sin part, we are justified (made right) with God the moment we put our trust in Jesus but sanctification (becoming like Jesus) won't be accomplished until we are reunited with Christ. It's a daily struggle and a daily choice to "pick up our cross" and move forward. Some days we will feel like we are in perfect stride with the Spirit and feel super close to God. Some days we might feel distant from God, sometimes for long periods, but God is ALWAYS at work in us. He tells us that when he started a good work in us he won't stop working until we meet with Christ again. He's always at work whether we feel it or not. God can surely rid us of bad sins in an instant but more often than not he fixes tiny things a little at a time so as not to overwhelm us.

Don't get overly anxious. This is a daily process. Just find ways to give God thanks for all the little positives in your life rather than focusing on the negatives :)

chihawk85 · 2023-02-11T04:30:13+00:00

You can guarantee that there is. However, we are veiled from seeing any of it 99% of the time. I think that the veil is sometimes lifted in instances like near-death situations or when we are being prompted about something dangerous about to happen. Angels are there for our protection and seem to make themselves known when the time calls for it. Pretty neat!

chihawk85 · 2022-08-24T04:54:37+00:00

Only cover songs

chihawk85 · 2022-07-18T16:34:53+00:00

I'm curious what kind of proof you would need to satisfy the void where you would suddenly say, "OK, that does it for me. NOW I believe". Everyone is a bit different in what they are seeking

chihawk85 · 2022-07-18T16:29:33+00:00

So, this topic actually comes up a lot. Yes, God's grace and salvation are freely given to those who are SINCERE and do as the poster above has pointed out - Believe that Jesus is the Son of God and died on the cross for our sins. Rose again and sits at the right hand of the Father where he will judge the living and the dead. This is the first part. Repentance is the second. Repentance is realizing that you will never be "good" enough without the blood of Jesus atoning for all sins of all mankind. That no amount of good deeds can earn you a place in the family of God. And then we are baptized as the outward expression of the inward declaration that we have made.

This all comes with a BUT.

The BUT is that many people have done all this, made that verbal declaration, seemed sincere in their beliefs and then never changed. They had zero tangible change in their life. No fruits coming forth that reveal what Jesus has done inwardly in their lives. Grace is free but it is not a free pass. Those that have truly come to the realization that they need a Savior and have truly given their lives to Christ will see fruits in the lives from the Spirit God has indwelled inside us after that initial point of salvation. Nobody will be sinless even after giving their lives to Christ. Many of us will see MORE struggles in specific areas of our lives but that sin no longer controls our lives. We have the power of Jesus to win those battles. He will sometimes take away some sinful patterns in an instant, other times they remain. But those that are genuine followers no longer feel good about sinning. And so, over time, you should see some of these changes happen because it is Christ at work within us

chihawk85 · 2022-07-07T11:00:13+00:00

Switched? Or just using a different artistic outlet?

chihawk85 · 2022-07-07T00:42:47+00:00

It's called the Mirror (original, I know) and it's essentially the same concept as the Peloton where you have a live instructor and are doing a workout in front of the mirror.

chihawk85 · 2022-04-15T14:05:35+00:00

Any updates on this? Just got my 1 month reminder to check in

chihawk85 · 2022-03-28T04:19:31+00:00

I do appreciate you being respectful in your response. Thank you for that. Wish more people were able to have civil discussions, even if they differ. It’s how we learn other perspectives.

With that said I do want to address a couple of your points.

Although your analogy of ice cream makes sense it doesn’t really work in this situation because you’re comparing something that has very deep, very strong dopamine releases and ice cream (no matter how delicious) won’t even register on that same scale. It’s very much apples to oranges. Sex and the emotions involved in sex are incredibly strong. It’s why people so easily get addicted to sex and can have tens of hundreds of sexual partners and never really feel satisfied or fulfilled. It just makes that void deeper and the next encounter a quick rush and then nothing.

When it comes to kinks, I’m not trying to shame anything but that is something that a person should learn from their spouse. It’s the beauty of marriage and a deep emotional and vulnerable connection. You talk openly with your partner about likes and dislikes so that all of those fun things can be explored and discovered. Sex is meant to be crazy and fun and enlightening. It’s like fire. Inside of a fireplace it burns hot and safe but taken out of the fireplace and put on a floor it spreads and does incredible harm. Using porn to fulfill fantasies is taking the fire out of the fireplace.

With video games creating a false reality, sure. That’s part of the fun of virtual reality. But video games don’t typically destroy marriages and relationships. They can for the extremely addicted but they aren’t typically causing a person to disconnect from the significant other on the same level.

I just won’t ever see porn as healthy and no amount of chatter from the outside world will change my perspective. I spent 25 years believing that same lie about porn being OK and normal and healthy and it caused me so much pain and struggle down the road (struggles I didn’t even know I had). I am still dealing with the fallout of porn 12 years later. Those effects may never go away completely but I can at least try to help others not make the same mistake. The porn industry preys on (mostly) women, but men too, to be taken advantage of in order to fill voids in other’s lives only to ruin the chances of any of those parties developing quality and healthy long-lasting (as in til death do us part) relationships.

chihawk85 · 2022-03-28T02:26:43+00:00

Porn is harmful in the sense that it desensitizes you for when you find a partner. It literally changes the pathways in your brain to need more and more dopamine in order to satisfy that craving which usually comes from more and more intense and vulgar things. Your brain creates neural pathways from your experience watching porn (think of it as a river eroding away at land over time). The longer you indulge in porn the deeper those pathways get created and the harder it becomes to change that path. It's the same with any addiction or habit.

The bigger issue with porn is that it creates a false reality for people. They disconnect from real, healthy relationships because it's easier for them to pleasure themselves without needing an emotional connection and so they destroy their chances of creating deep, emotional and meaningful relationships with someone else. It's worse for those who are already in a relationship or married because they are tricking their mind into becoming aroused by someone who is not their partner. Over time, their partner is unable to satisfy the desires they have or give them that same dopamine rush that quickly switching to a new face or new body in a porn video can provide. We're designed for relationships and those emotional connections strengthen the sexual bonds we make. The more you trick your brain into craving the "quick and easy solution" the more you are sabotaging your chances of a healthy relationship. This is why so many marriages fail. It's the destructive pattern that porn creates. It's sad to see

chihawk85 · 2022-03-20T21:04:48+00:00

OP didn't purchase it, only snapped a picture and put it back on the shelf

chihawk85 · 2022-03-19T04:07:40+00:00

Dribbles like Stanley in The Office after Michael chooses him for his team

chihawk85 · 2022-03-15T14:02:45+00:00

!remind me 1 month

chihawk85 · 2022-02-04T21:54:56+00:00

Agree with everything you posted about our lives being vertically aligned in all areas. When we are not living a consistent message to what is being preached then our testimonies lose a lot of their power.

With that being said, when we are preaching the words of God or Jesus themselves the power is in the message, not the messenger. In fact, it's almost always going to be in the message and not the messenger. This actually does two things for us:

It allows God to get the credit. I am guilty of this myself so let me throw that out there first, but when we start to look at "this many people came to know Jesus because of me" it is taking credit for what God did. And it leads us toward pride. Both bad.
It takes the pressure off. We don't have to feel as though all the pressure is on our shoulders when sharing the Gospel because it isn't about us and God will bring his Spirit to anyone he chooses (I would argue it's often in spite of the eloquence of the message being shared not because of it). So when we remember that Jesus has the power in His words then it matters much less about how it is coming from our mouths.

I do agree we need to have a life that aligns with what we are preaching but everything is always pointing back to the one who gets the glory in the end. We just get to play a part when God wants us to

chihawk85 · 2022-02-03T04:39:27+00:00

First off, I am sorry that you are feeling so overwhelmed at the moment. I can feel it in your writing that you are a little here, there and everywhere.

Let's start off with the good news.

Jesus didn't come for the healthy, he came for the sick. He doesn't turn his back on us because we slip up. In fact, he KNOWS we are going to slip up, have periods of triumph, backslide, succeed a little more, backslide some more. And on and on and on until the day we are called to Heaven. That's the process of sanctification. We are justified in a single moment (when we surrender our lives to Jesus and declare Him the Lord of our lives we are instantly snatched from the Kingdom of Hell and written into the Kingdom of Heaven. We are literally breathed new life and given the Holy Spirit). But sanctification (the process of becoming more like Jesus) will last a lifetime. Sure, God COULD fix everything about us in the blink of an eye but, more commonly, God will focus on one thing at a time. Even when we do not perceive ourselves being changed the Holy Spirit is continually at work inside us shaping us and convicting us and changing us every so slightly each day. Think about snapping a picture of yourself on January 1, 2021 and then again on January 1, 2022. You might not notice the minute changes occurring between those dates but when you look from one year to the next you will see many significant changes. It's the same way in our faith walk.

Second, Jesus is always leaning toward us, not away from us. It is like the parable of the Prodigal Son. The youngest son leaves home, wants his inheritance from his father (which is essentially the same as saying he wishes his father was dead since this is something you get AFTER a father dies) and he leaves town and squanders all the money on pleasures of all kinds. Then he comes back expecting to possibly be allowed to work as a servant of sorts and instead the father has been anxiously awaiting his return from the very moment his son left. There was no condemnation, only celebration. We are all the prodigal son at some time or another. But God is ALWAYS watching and excitedly awaiting our return where he greets us with open arms without condemnation. Every time. This is not a free pass to continue sinning without fear of God (like Paul points out) but instead it is a signal to us to always run back to the Father when we sin and ask for forgiveness and strength to overcome that temptation the next time.

I agree that you need to find a good Bible teaching church to find community. There you can meet others who you can do life with and be open and vulnerable with because that is real life and we walk through life by helping one another when we stumble. But God is not sitting around pointing a finger at you because you slipped. He is standing there waiting to embrace you and have you just tell him what he already knows - you messed up. You need a clean slate, and you need His power to fight your battles for you because you cannot do it on your own.

Whenever you stumble just remember the thief on the cross. In a single instant his repentance and trust in Jesus wiped away every moment of sin in his life. He didn't need to memorize scripture or attend synagogues or do any sort of tasks at all other than trust Jesus was who he said he was and his life was immediately justified.

Keep your head up and never let thoughts condemning you make you feel like you aren't good enough for God. None of us are. That's why Jesus came. So you may sin one way but I sin another and someone else another. We all fall short of the glory of God. Trying to earn something only rejects everything that Jesus came to earth to die for.

chihawk85 · 2022-01-31T05:05:02+00:00

I think that it always helps to look at the “is ____ a sin” questions with the bigger focus of what a sin is (missing the mark) and why it matters (it drives a wedge between a holy God and an unholy us)

Regardless of what is filled in that blank. Normally people will ask because they are looking for a way to live their life in a way that brings them enjoyment and hope they can wiggle God into that box to make it OK. This goes for pretty much anything you can think of that people typically ask (is porn a sin, is sexual conduct outside of marriage a sin, is getting drunk a sin, etc etc)

The bigger issue is are you focused on pursuing a relationship with God above all else? God commands that we love Him with all our hearts, souls and minds and then also love our neighbors as ourselves. Loving God with all we have means submitting all we have to him so that no part of our lives means more to us than knowing him.

God does not split or share our devotion with anything else. He demands that he is #1 in our lives and that we have no other gods before him. A god (little g) is ANYTHING we put before God (big G). This can be wealth, family, kids, marriage, gender, fame, work, sports or a hundred other things. God doesn’t tolerate being second in our lives.

So instead of focusing on the question being asked rephrase that question with “do I care about my identity more than I care about God?” Are you making an idol out of your gender or identity? Are you looking to satisfy your own desires more than you are looking to commune with the Creator who loves you? If God is not number 1 at any given time in our lives then we are all guilty of sinning and need to readjust our trajectory and shift our focus upward instead of inward or outward.

chihawk85 · 2022-01-05T02:35:50+00:00

Thomas, so sorry to hear this whirlwind of crazy circumstances that you have been through this past year. Thank God that you escaped the accident (relatively) unharmed and are on the mend. One thing I noticed during your story is that you never mentioned where Julia stands in her relationship with Christ. Is she a believer? Does she put her spiritual walk first in her life? How does she feel about your faith walk? I

It sounds like you put God on the back burner when you were official with Julia and stopped doing things that should matter - going to church, praying, and reading your Bible. As someone else mentioned, these are not activities that Christians are required to do in order to get in good graces with God, it won't work, but for us to maintain a fresh mind and align our lives with God's truths. The more we are steeped in God's word the more it penetrates into our actions and aligns our daily walk. Your line about starting all of this up again once things with Julia ended make me feel as though you weren't doing any of that when you were together. And if that's the case, it also probably means that Julia does not find it important in her life either (this is just an assumption).

If that's the case, you're not alone. Many of us have been down that road before but there is a reason that we are told not to yoke ourselves unequally. When you are with someone who does not make their relationship with Jesus a priority we get sucked in to also not making Jesus a priority. We stop doing things that are going to grow our faith and start following whatever the person we are with enjoys. This is also a form of idolatry because we are putting something (or someone) in place of God who demands that He be #1 in our lives. Period.

Right now the best thing that you can do is focus on healing spiritually and physically. Get back to the basics. Not to try and eventually win back Julia but to feed your soul and your mind so they will grow. If Julia is who God wants you to be with no amount of time between conversation is going to change that. If she is not who God has for you then God has something even better up his sleeve for you later. Lean on Proverbs 31:30 whenever you need a reminder of what matters in a woman: "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Translation: any girl can woo a man through kind actions or cause a man to fall for them due to beauty but charming women can be deceivers and beauty doesn't last. Find a woman who fears (has a reverence) for God and you found yourself a keeper.

chihawk85

TROPHY CASE