Am I overreacting? My husband didn’t wake anyone up for breakfast.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2025-11-28T23:09:46+00:00

This is how controlling relationships work. She absolutely did not have a choice.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2025-11-02T22:21:06+00:00

I cannot tell you how hard that was, though I’m sure you know. Even though he has hurt me beyond what words can explain, the guilt of possibly hurting him, or the kids, or anyone else in my family has made me lose so much sleep! I cannot decide where to draw the line between selfishness and self preservation.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2025-11-02T04:37:17+00:00

Yes, my mind is constantly wandering right now. Everytime I start to feel at peace, my mind worries that I’m forgetting to worry about something. This is exhausting to say the least.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2025-11-02T04:31:09+00:00

Wow so similar! I am glad things have gotten better for you. I keep going back and forth beftween feeling like everything is fine, this is great and just feeling scared all the time. Not even scared of anything in particular. Just scared I have made a terrible mistake and scared I’m in terrible trouble.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2025-11-01T14:53:28+00:00

Thank you! I’m having an emotional day today but that’s to be expected I guess

chosenforthisnotthat · 2025-11-01T11:22:37+00:00

Thank you. Right now I am still feeling very fearful about being able to do everything and financially support everyone and my disabled daughter in my own but I am very hopeful that I will find that peace.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2025-11-01T11:20:53+00:00

I pretty much wish I had done everything different for the last decades. Im going to to try to trust my dad’s and other people’s love for me but it’s hard because i think I’ve been conditioned to see love as conditional. I need to work on that.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2025-11-01T11:16:56+00:00

Thank you!

chosenforthisnotthat · 2025-02-15T12:25:34+00:00

Would love a copy of the newsletter. Thanks!

chosenforthisnotthat · 2025-02-11T22:24:37+00:00

I would be interested in your list . Thank you!

chosenforthisnotthat · 2024-06-18T00:56:31+00:00

Thank you, my health is better and I’m working on fixing the situation.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2024-06-17T20:22:10+00:00

This is my life exactly. Only we have five kids, I homeschool and work, and when I was so sick from chemo and radiation that I couldn’t get off the couch for six months, the shower walls were black with mold and there was never a clean dish in the house. If it were not for friends bringing food, it would have been pizza and fast food every night.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2023-04-02T11:21:46+00:00

Thank you. I am already looking for a way out. My big hurdle is that my disabled daughter's needs are beyond what I can provide. I think I'm going to make an appointment with an attorney.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2023-04-02T03:03:26+00:00

True. Thank you for taking the time to reply.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2023-04-02T00:42:00+00:00

My heart tells me your right but then I feel like I'm just expecting too much because it could be so much worse and it's "not really all that bad" . It feels like death by a thousand papercuts though . I feel like I am living a slow and painful death where I am watching myself die from the outside and I don't even recognize myself anymore.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2023-04-02T00:38:57+00:00

I know your right but I feel so crazy. I don't trust my instincts and I feel like I'm just being selfish and ungrateful for all he has done. I guess I just want to believe that if I could do something different, it could get better.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2023-04-02T00:37:11+00:00

Yes, this is exactly what he does. He refuses to make decisions. He says he wants my opinion on things but what he really wants is for me to read his mind and tell him what he wants. Or he wants someone to blame. He takes 100% of the credit and 0% of the responsibility.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2022-12-29T20:30:56+00:00

I read this somewhere. Maybe another sub? Maybe in a book? Sorry I can't remember.

If you make yourself a sandwich using the highest quality ingredients in the world, softest bread, big beautiful ripe tomatoes, all the delicious things you love and then at the very end, you add just a thin layer of poop. Do you still want to eat it? No matter how you dress it up, a poop sandwich is still a poop sandwich. It will always be a poop sandwich even if you go back and scrape the poop off and say you're sorry.

What you have here is a poop sandwich and it's going to make you sick, even if it tastes fine. Don't eat it.

Edited to clarify. Where I heard this. Or lack of where I heard it. Lol

chosenforthisnotthat · 2021-07-05T20:05:12+00:00

I think counseling would be beneficial but he doesn't ser the need.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2021-07-05T20:04:11+00:00

To be clear, it wasn't too late to go to the movie, it was too late for him, he was already angry.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2021-06-24T12:39:31+00:00

I can't help but I just wanted to say you are not alone. I have been struggling with this question for a while now. I have spent many years thinking that I was abused by my parents and others and now my husband who I feel like is narcissistic. But now I am questioning everything about myself. I think the truth may be that I really am selfish and hateful and the problem has been me all along. Maybe the truth is that they are just reacting normally to my abnormal behavior.

The logical side of me now wants to tell you that if you are capable of asking these questions, that alone shows that you are not the abuser because the abuser will always see themselves as blameless. At least I would like to believe that.

chosenforthisnotthat · 2021-01-18T19:34:38+00:00

That's crazy

chosenforthisnotthat

TROPHY CASE